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wood-thrush Archive

View 0 posts and 23 comments by wood-thrush on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

It cost me $1k for a single attorney to draft the documents and file for the uncontested divorce. Definitely worth it to make sure it got done right. 90 day waiting period in Iowa, but went smoothly.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 11:14 AM
1

Fortunately I had a pretty amicable divorce and didn’t have to fight for anything substantial, but I thought that things that were owned prior to marriage were protected?
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:02 PM
1

I had a similar situation with my divorce. If she is on the same page as you, then an easy divorce is possible. I hired an attorney to handle the process and she did not get an attorney. I was able to relay all pertinent information to her, (an attorney cannot represent you both). Proceeds from the sale of the house were split 50/50 and we divided furnishings ourselves. All accounts and debts were kept with their respective owners. The key I think is just keeping a business mindset and being eas…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 05:41 PM
2

I’m sorry that you are going through this. The early stages of grief are very difficult and I can relate to what you are going through. I’m about a year out and am in a much better place. There are still some tough moments/days, but stay positive. Time will help you heal.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 05:08 PM
2

Looking back, the self-help, “I am a badass” type books was the beginning of the end. There’s a difference between being confident and independent and being selfish.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 09:45 PM
2

I joined a mens league rugby team and poured myself into it. Great bonding with other men and physically demanding with contact.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 09:57 PM
1

Books have actually gotten better since my divorce. I like to read classics and books that involve the human condition; Hemingway, Tolstoy, etc. and I find the characters and experiences more relatable after experiencing betrayal and heartbreak. Silver lining I guess haha.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 05:00 PM
1

Really sorry to hear that. I’m your age and similar situation, though about 1 year after my separation and divorce. Counseling, this sub, (and r/survivinginfidelity) and time all helped. 11 years is a long time. Mine was 7, but one thing that I learned is that that time was not lost, it was spent learning. Reflect back, grieve and learn from your experiences. Focus on yourself. You will come out the other side of this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 07:54 PM
9

Really good points. I do have a question about second marriage statistics. Do you feel that these might be skewed by the benefiting party of the divorce being more likely than the “losing” side to remarry? My divorce sounds quite a bit like OPs and while I don’t have a relationship like his currently, I could see a traditional family as something that I might want in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/22 05:53 PM
1

Really sorry to hear about your situation. I discovered my ex-wife’s affair from a similar discussion. Being blindsided like that is extremely tough. Do your best not to feel guilty. Unless you were being harmful to yourself or her, you should not be forced to change. The love should be unconditional. Going to therapy was very beneficial to me in the early stages to have a 3rd party to talk to and to walk me through the grieving process. Best of luck, feel free to chat if you need someone to tal…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 06:08 PM
1

Definitely a lesson that I learned was that going forward, if I find myself in a relationship, I want that person to love me for me, not for what I can do for them or how they can mold me to be what they want.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 08:24 PM
2

I’m 8 months past divorce filing day with a similar situation on infidelity. It’s hard to comprehend how something like this happens. I didn’t learn that my wife was bi until about a year after marriage and over 5 years of being in a relationship. I wonder if this is something that she always felt and just never told me while we were dating or if she got the idea in her head and just ran with it. Eventually infidelity occurred. I still think of her a lot. It’s not easy to just cut your brain off…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 03:21 PM
1

I’ve been able to reconnect with some old friends and that has been a pretty big benefit of staying and has helped in healing my grief. Depending on how much vacation your work allows, maybe take a week to explore the city you are thinking of moving to to see if you could picture yourself there. Try to find out if it offers clubs that you would be interested in joining or has opportunities for hobbies that you might be into before committing to the move.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 08:14 PM
3

Definitely considered it, but decided to stay because I’m happy with my current work situation and didn’t want to be that far removed from family. If you’re good on work, I see nothing wrong with it. You have ultimate freedom now. I’m planning to do a lot more traveling myself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 08:07 PM
19

Things I have learned after looking back: • Relationship with family and how they were raised is important. From a family of divorce? Did parents have infidelity? Was there rebellion against parents, etc. • Slip-ups or fights due to drinking. Ever catch her flirting with other guys when she’s drunk. Does she say mean things to you after she’s been drinking. Don’t give these things a pass. “Drunk actions are sober thoughts.” • “We have issues with this.” Sometimes when my ex would bring up couple…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 01:55 PM
5

Hey OP. Sorry that you are going through this. I’m about 6 months out from a divorce and was pretty rocked by it because I wasn’t taking some of the early signs seriously. As one commenter mentioned, joining a recreational team or hobby group is a great place to find support. I started playing rugby. I also found that just staying busy in general is important. Along with individual counseling, (which I totally recommend), I started going out and doing things almost every day to keep busy. Movie …
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 04:54 PM
2

Good advice. My rugby team was a huge source of support and weekly practice and games were some of the few times that I was not thinking of everything that was falling apart in regards to the marriage/relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 04:48 PM
3

The movie pass has been great. Get to go check out whatever movie I’m interested in at whatever works for me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 08:29 PM
4

If you are in agreement to do the divorce amicably, then go to an attorney and state that you are looking for help with an uncontested divorce. As long as she doesn’t seek representation and trusts you then the whole process should go smoothly. Mine cost $1k and the divorce was completed at the minimum waiting period for my state. It was nice to have someone walk through the steps and handle all of the paperwork and filing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 05:16 PM
3

Fortunately for myself, the door was closed very quickly on my marriage. She had no interest in reconciliation and we didn’t have children so it was a pretty quick process. I am still dealing with the trauma of what happened and the lifestyle change, but therapy and other human interaction is helping. I really feel for you. You sound like a strong person and like you said, you will survive this. Keep your eyes on the horizon.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 08:25 PM
6

Your last paragraph really hits me. My wife changed fairly shortly after marriage. I believe she asked for an open relationship within 2 years of marriage. We dated for over 4 years before I proposed and she was wanting marriage well before then. Like why did she want marriage so badly, if she was willing to just destroy it right after it started? Commitment and vows obviously meant nothing to her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 08:07 PM
4

Just divorced a nurse. Don’t think I’ll ever entertain a woman in that profession again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 07:14 PM
6

Look to see if there are any local clubs or teams that you could join. Good way to meet new people.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/21 05:46 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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