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you_want_advice Archive

View 0 posts and 42 comments by you_want_advice on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

it's hard for RP-ers to relate to this sentiment as many of them have had a lack Emphasis on had, as most people become RP-ers in the first place because they were unhappy with their love/sex lives, or do you disagree with that? I haven't known anyone who was successful with women prior to TRP who joined TRP. The vast majority of the users claim to have been "sexless betas" prior to TRP. And most of them still hold quite a bit of resentment over it, even if they have finally managed to get laid.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/15 07:09 PM
1

This culture is a ruthless meritocracy, that is pitiless towards socially awkward and physically unimpressive men How is it pitiful for the socially awkward and physically unimpressive women?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/15 06:51 PM
2

If someone offers a good, stable and loving partnership, should they settle for a partner that gives less?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/15 06:50 PM
4

In all honestly, it's hard for RP-ers to relate to this sentiment as many of them have had a lack of sexual contact/relationships and feel society would be better in a way in which they would basically be assigned a woman. They don't fully appreciate the concept of free choice in terms of relationships because they weren't able to exercise it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/15 06:48 PM
1

It's equally oppressive to be a leech on your family's resources and not respect their wishes. I mean, if a person is getting married to someone, just not the person their family picked out, are they really being a leech? Also, what about instances in which the family doesn't have the woman's best interest? What about in families which are dysfunctional, or families in which the family members have severe issues that they project? Shouldn't there been some reasonable limit to how far you can exp…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/15 06:46 PM
1

I think a lot of RPs place too much importance on a woman's appearance. I don't think this is characteristic of most men, unless we are talking about purely ONS, in which generally speaking characteristics outside of appearance for both genders are negligent. But in terms of which women you interact with on a regular basis, you really should look past appearance. Imo, TRP actively encourages dismissing of any other traits a woman might have and focuses exclusively on appearance. Which is fine, u…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/15 03:17 PM
10

You try to be friends with a girl you get called a pig, if you were a girl that wouldn't happen now would it? There has to be some missing context here. A man is not called a pig by default for trying to befriend a girl, and a woman can be name-called for trying to befriend a guy in certain circumstances. Without such contexts it's pointless to have this discussion because we're not actually discussing any phenomenon that happens in real life. All in all, women like men for reasons that any huma…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/15 02:09 PM
8

And I've had straight male friends tell me that vaginas are kind of strange when you think about them in a non sexual context. I think you're missing some context here. Btw, in regards your reference about porn, most straight porn features a penis so does that mean all men who watch porn are gay? No. It just makes the porn more arousing when a woman is being penetrated. The same could be said for women who prefer lesbian porn. Honestly, a lot of straight porn is often geared towards men and isn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/15 02:04 PM
3

I completely disagree with the premise here. I believe in both camps you'll find really sexual individuals, people who prefer relationships over casual sex, and sexually frustrated individuals. I would say it's quite even. You are right however, that generally speaking BP tends to put less of a value on sex than RP. I think RP's (and those who will eventually find tRP) intrinsically use sex as a form of validation and as a way to build self esteem, whereas BP's generally use other things, or oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/15 03:27 PM
1

Negative personality traits typically come out over the course of the relationship, rather than at the beginning. And infatuation has the power to temporarily blind people to other people's faults.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/15 01:12 PM
1

Awesome. Can I see those things. I'm actually genuinely interersted. We are talking about such a large body of knowledge right now (an entire field, actually), that it's silly to just ask for links. We are talking about hundreds of studies. If you want to narrow it down to a specific subject, sure, otherwise, I can only link you to textbooks that are accepted reading material at top research universities, or the journals themselves. http://www.textbooks.com/BooksDescription.php?BKN=1509574&SBC=M…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/15 01:10 PM
1

Needing to take women off the pedestal. Such behavior is reflective of codependence, which is rarely an effective way to have healthy, fulfilling relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/15 02:15 PM
8

There are two huge gaping flaws in your argument One: whether TRP is an ACCURATE depiction of evolutionary psychology. Answer: it's not. TRP falls prey to things that SOUND plausible, but are unsupported, and we are in a place right now where some things in the field of evolutionary psychology can actually be verified through new research methods. However, while I have seen blogs/articles, and debunked studies discussed on TRP, I have rarely if ever seen actual duplicated and verified studies fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/15 02:10 PM
1

Says reality. You are moving goalposts; now you are talking about circumstances outside of one's control, such as being sick. Earlier you simply said unemployed and UNDERACHIEVING individuals. Well yeah, the reality is such individuals ON AVERAGE have more negative traits than those who are employed and motivated.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/15 02:00 PM
1

I like your way better. The only concern is there needs to be some incentive for a woman to notify a man early enough so that he can give her a response early enough for her to have the option to abort.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/15 03:39 AM
1

Then your freedom has in no way been hurt. No. My disposable income would be, but my freedom would not be. And the state shall enforce this with guns Once again, child support is enforced with courts, not guns. Anyway, if you want to address the rest of my comment feel free but I'm not going further into this freedom thing. Like I said, you are using the philosophical definition of freedom. With that definition, yes, there is a loss of freedom. But that definition is hardly useful or practical, …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/15 03:37 AM
4

unemployed or underachieving partners Because unemployed or underachieving partners tend to have more negative personality traits compared to the achieving and employed individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/15 03:31 AM
1

That's an alright system but it seems like a more convoluted opt-in system. More like opt-out. The default would be that he is going to be held financially responsible if the baby is born, unless he says otherwise during that 3 months. If he says no, the woman still has another 2 months to have an abortion, which ensures that the rest of society won't shoulder the burden, at least in most instances. So why put a time on it? To try to allow the opportunity for a woman to react to that knowledge, …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 05:03 PM
1

No it's preceisely the definition of freedom. Ability to decide what you do and how you do it. When you take money from people without their assent, it harms that freedom. Then you are definitely using the philosophical meaning of the word freedom which might provide a fun discussion but really has no practical use. Child support obligation isn't infringing on any of your freedom that you aready have, unless you don't live as part of a country/society. Yes, and when the law says "Pay this woman …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 04:57 PM
2

What if the man isn't informed within these three months? Default consent to paternity? Easy. Establish a system in which there needs to be notarized proof that a man was notified in a timely manner to collect child support later. If a man is not notified, then he gets to make the choice when he IS notified, even if the child has already been born. To make it more feasible, the time limit can be extended to 4 months. Just generally speaking it should be kept away from 5 months because 5 months i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 04:33 PM
7

Because of the things which TRP completely discounts in interpersonal relationships: love, attachment, emotional investment, etc. Both genders try to get not just the best (as in, high value) but the most suitable partner. Spending a lot of pleasant time with someone creates a bond which is not easily severed. I don't know why this pretty blatant and universal occurrence (bonding) is rarely discussed on TRP in favor of talking about things like hypergamy when bonding is a lot more powerful of a …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 03:59 PM
1

Who makes the ultimate decision on whether that egg becomes a child? The party which houses the egg and the one which would experience the procedure that would eliminate the fertilized egg. I think reproductive rights should be based off of reproductive involvement. I believe men should have rights that are centered around their reproductive involvement. Since men are the fertilizers, their rights should center around making sure that their right to deposit sperm is protected, which it already i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 03:53 PM
2

Yes, it impairs a mans freedom if men with guns come and take his money away for a purpose. They are impairing his freedom to spend his money by demanding it, and giving him no recourse but to surrender it. Financial obligations are not a violation of freedom. That is like arguing rent, bills, and taxes are also a violation of freedom. Perhaps in a really philosophical definition of freedom, but generally not the definition of freedom that most people are entitled to by the country they live in.…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 03:41 PM
1

Not really an even comparison, nor a practically feasible one. I think everyone here will acknowledge that a woman raping a man is taking away his right to reproduction by stealing his sperm, which belongs to him. What we are disagreeing on is the type of punishment a woman should face. Once the semen HAS departed the body, then it no longer is a question of bodily autonomy for the man. Like I said, you can assign a socially conceived right to the man for the sperm (such as: because his semen wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 03:24 PM
0

It is an equivalent in the sense that the punishment is a violation of bodily autonomy for violating bodily autonomy, which is what you are advocating for.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 03:18 PM
2

and that the child's right to this must trump his bodily autonomy, freedom, and any other concerns. Unless his sperm was acquired against his will, having a child is not a violation of his bodily autonomy. Since I'm assuming you are talking about willfull sex, a child is simply a consequence of a chosen action. Paying child support, while limiting financial resources, also does not impair a man's freedom. He is not obligated to actually ever see or interact with the child, nor prevented from hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 07:10 AM
6

I would support your proposal except I would also add "emotional neglect" and "sexual pressuring" if you're going to include sexual neglect. Personally, I think your model would work better as long as only abuse and infidelity were included. With sex, it becomes tricky as sexual appetites vary across people and across time, are affected by health issues, etc. Meaning a partner's lower sex drive may not be malicious, nor does the idea of letting your partner use you as a warm hole really resemble…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/15 06:35 AM
5

48 laws of power I think it's because they don't really get how interpersonal dynamics work. They see a relationship in which a woman is swooning over a man and misread what it is that has caused her to do that. Then it goes back to them. They have not had that. Add in bitterness and resentment to the mix and it's easy to see why they would find manipulation so appealing. Even before TRP, women have been nothing more than a means to an end to them - a way to not feel lonely, a way to have sex, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/15 02:20 PM
5

I think TRP's problem centers more on obliviousness than it does on selfishness...the end result is kind of the same but to me selfishness is deliberate and I don't think most RP-ers realize how selfish they truly are. I think the average RP-er is on the lower end of social understanding. They don't get how social interactions work, how people work, how to read people's behavior and intentions, etc. As a result, they often are frustrated by the lack of normal experience that they missed out on b…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/15 02:00 PM
4

I am sorry if this subject matter is personal to you, but I stand by my statements. If you feel that I'm lying, I'm not sure what else there is to say. I even acknowledged that it does not apply to every single incel and that there are exceptions. I do find it ironic that people who typically tend to talk about women in "all women" generalizations because "that's the general trend" would demand the same not be done to them. Why do you feel the need to make that up? This is a good question. In fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/15 01:04 PM
3

By moral I'm taking it to mean as compassionate/sensible. I think in theory it could. However, TRP's problem is that for it to be "moral" it depends on a very idealized view of men...kind of like a reverse pedestal (where Red Pillers go from idealizing women to idealizing men). And men are humans and humans just aren't that selfless, giving, and free from flaws. Men aren't free from problems like indecision, not knowing what they want, ego trips, abuse of power, etc. I think it fundamentally goe…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/15 12:56 PM
4

Because that is typically the behavior I see demonstrated by them. There is rarely an admittance of, "Hey, I have certain faults that turn people off around me/I am not good at socializing which prevents me from having opportunities to connect/fuck women." Instead there is typically a "woe is me, people are awful for not loving me," attitude. This may not describe every single incel but it has been the general trend I have observed.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/15 12:37 PM
8

And these men were terrible providers as they could not establish a standing in the community they were present in which was essential to survival and providing. Living back then was very community based, not isolated like today. People need to remember...life got easier, not harder, over time. I get people have frustrations and struggles with how things are now, but I can guarantee the vast majority of those people would kill to live in today's time with all of its problems if they've ever live…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/15 05:24 AM
10

That really hasn't been my experience. I get that people like to lament for the "olden days" when everything was better, but it's usually just an illusion. People don't seem to realize just how much pressure there was to adhere to social norms in those kinds of cultures. People who struggle to abide by social norms (as these individuals do) didn't just experience loneliness isolation but active persecution and targeting as well. And for women, their choice in husband was not just a matter of cho…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/15 04:50 AM
1

What the woman is describing a general lose of interest to her husband makes a lot of sense biologically. Yes...and no. When you talk about things like biology and evolutionary psychology, you have to separate what sounds plausible and what's an actual phenomenon. I find that there's often a lot of confusion and blurring between the two, especially in these circles. Sure, that explanation sounds plausible but there are also, more likely, competing explanations for the behavior you are pointing o…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/15 04:44 AM
7

I get your point, I'm just saying in the times when women were dependent on men, it was actually even worse for these kinds of incel/awkward individuals, based on my experiences at observing an area in which women are dependent on men in a similar way as the previous times you are alluding to.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/15 04:38 AM
7

Sort of like how things were in the past when only men were working so all women looked up to men. As someone who used to live in a really rural and traditional country, I can guarantee you that never existed. Weirdos back then were even more outcast than they are today.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/15 04:36 AM
17

It's really not going to change much. With people like that, the fundamental problem is not the lack of sex, although to them it seems like that's the problem. It's the inability to have normal experiences and the sense of entitlement to them and frustration at not having them. Give them sex, and all that will happen is they'll want something else that they don't have, and feel it's the world's fault for not having it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/15 04:32 AM
3

I guess I lean towards the blue side. I am not inherently opposed to sex work, I think it theoretically could be done right and could be beneficial to both parties and don't see the need to oppose the trade-off. However, I have also never seen it work out well or as intended in reality. Even in places that have legalized prostitution, there has been an increase in the illegal sex trade, abuse, rape of prostitutes, etc. If the business wasn't so inherently sleazy and surrounded by crime or used t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/15 03:47 PM
1

I don't think I "owe" an explanation but I almost always give one regardless as part of communication and to ensure that it is not a personal rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/15 03:37 PM
2

Not everyone deals with stress/problems that way though. For a lot of people, sex drive disappears when they are feeling down or stressed out. Sex is the last thing on their mind and it would require a lot of effort and energy to try to get onself in the mood - effort and energy that one is already lacking, leaving the person even more worn down.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/15 03:36 PM
2

I think you are making "desire" and "physical attraction" synonymous and while I think there is overlap, I don't think it's entirely the same thing. With today's mass media, I would say unless you are dating someone attractive enough to be an actor/model AND who is exactly your personal taste, you are already settling in the phyiscal department anyway. This applies to both men and women. So the need to be exactly 100% the ideal in a partner's eyes is really unrealistic and I don't think is repre…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/15 03:30 PM
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