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zauriel1980 Archive

View 2 posts and 35 comments by zauriel1980 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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31

zauriel1980/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 07:51 PM
6

Getting Startedzauriel1980/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 10:20 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
12

So crazy how many similar stories we all have. But yeah, mine was the same. Perimenopause and lots of social media consumption (specifically TikTok). Told me she hadn’t loved me for the last 3 years (correlating to around 1 year after the birth of our son). Found out afterward that she’d been emotionally cheating (at least) with an ex-coworker. Everyone can blame it on hormones, but just like with alcohol, it’s nothing more than an excuse to explain away horrible behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 06:21 PM
3

Oh agreed. Mine went behind my back, opened up a secret credit card, and spent over $9k in less than a year. This was a few years after I’d created a plan that paid off all her personal debt shortly after we got married. Yours sounds a lot like mine. The dopamine part from shopping especially. No codeine involved, but definitely the drinking.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 04:15 PM
6

Yep. My Ex had a divorced friend (who had divorced her husband shortly after he went through cancer treatment, no less) who definitely was an influence. That and TikTok. Cheated on me with a past coworker who was also married with kids (and 11 years her junior). Never got a satisfying answer as to the “why”. Best I got was that she “thought it would be different” after we had our son. That is, she thought raising a kid would different while married vs how it was for her raising her other son alo…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 03:33 PM
13

She was fooling around with a married man with kids of his own a whole month before she dropped the bomb on me, but as far as an actual relationship after the d-bomb and we split? Well fortunately it wasn’t with that guy, and I don’t have an exact date, but I’d say roughly 3 months. She was on the dating apps — which I know because I got on them too out of frustration … and guess whose profile was the very first served up to me on Tinder — and met someone there who she’s still with, almost 1.5 y…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 02:39 AM
3

Yeeeeah … I’m pretty much friend #2. Except early 40’s, and just one (biological) kid. Otherwise just about the same. It ain’t great. With hindsight being 20/20 and all … if you see the signs, especially if you can tell she no longer respects you, the marriage isn’t long for this world, and it’s best to get ahead of it rather than blindsided. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 02:32 PM
9

I understand your reservations, but there’s really nothing you can do about it my man. My ex and I had an agreement not to introduce anybody new to our (now) 6yo until we’d been seeing them for at least 6 months. She got with current bf within 2 months of her dropping the D bomb on me, and once she hit 6 months with him (last December), she immediately wanted to introduce, as she planned to have him be present at her house at Christmas. We also had an agreement that we would each be able to meet…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 03:02 PM
4

Both of our names are on both of our cars. Our decree stipulated her car was hers and mine was mine. Both were already paid off though, so no payments. Each of us have just been too lazy to get our cars retitled to remove the other’s name (divorce was finalized last December).
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 11:00 PM
1

“… while your wife resents you” See, that doesn’t fly in a role reversal, because in a majority of the cases presented here, the husbands didn’t resent their wives. They loved them. They didn’t want divorce. They wanted to keep their marriage and family intact. And many were blissfully unaware that anything was wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 12:22 PM
3

I’ve only had sex with one woman since separating. We did it maybe 6 times. I had occasional issues with my stbx in terms of staying hard during sex, so I signed up over at Hims for some of their chewable mints. Used one every time. Definitely worked for staying hard. But both the first and last time I had sex with the new girl, I had issues getting off. Took quite a while the first time; the last time I couldn’t climax at all which was disappointing for both of us. I have no explanation because…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 03:37 PM
6

It might be one thing if the children were little, but who's going to reconcile with someone they say they don't love, out of obligation for "family" that consists of adult children who likely either don't live at home or will be moving out on their own soon? Sounds like bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 08:13 PM
3

I didn’t even get that. I simply got “I don’t love you anymore”.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 11:25 PM
1

I leave tomorrow with my 5yo son for almost 2 weeks to go on a road trip from MO to CA/AZ to see family and things like the Grand Canyon, the ocean, etc. We’ve been separated for approximately 3.5 months, divorce still ongoing. But we’ve already agreed on our custody (50/50, 2-2-3) and holiday schedule, including 2 weeks with him each summer. It’s a pretty standard share.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 04:54 PM
2

Well, for the record I’m a Sagittarius/ISFP. No idea what my ex’s MBTI is. Libras are a pretty decent match for Sags on paper.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 04:25 AM
2

Mine’s a Libra. And not for nothing, but the majority (or at least a plurality) of women I’ve matched with on dating apps were also Libras (a high number of which were still going through their divorces, same as me).
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 04:10 AM
3

Your mileage may vary
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 12:35 AM
1

Our son is 4, almost 5. We’ve been doing 2-2-3 since we separated and it’s what we’ve agreed on for the divorce decree. It works for us right now at this age. Obviously I hate not being able to see my son whenever I want, but it is what it is. I couldn’t do week on/week off right now. Maybe when he’s older.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 12:39 AM
1

We're still in the negotiation process; nothing's finalized yet. But yes, we had verbally agreed on an amount of $450/month that she would pay me in CS. I later asked my lawyer to estimate what he thought CS should be in our situation (because I'd wondered if I lowballed myself in agreeing to that amount; I didn't know anything about anything at that time and was trying to be amicable because I still wanted her to like me). He said that he actually came up with a lower number by his calculations…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 07:01 PM
4

Unfortunately, I’m living with my parents. My wife makes 2.5x what I make, so she’s keeping the house and buying me out with my share of the equity (currently fighting over that number). I moved out about 3 weeks after she dropped the divorce bomb on me, after consulting with my lawyer to make sure it wouldn’t bite me in the ass legally. We had already agreed on 50/50 custody and started a 2-2-3 schedule immediately after. While I could afford to rent an apartment for me and my son, with the ram…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 03:00 PM
7

I’m there too. I use Waze and had to physically change the settings so that her (still technically our) house was no longer marked as “home”. It pains me so much. We have 50/50 custody of our little one but she more or less refuses to talk to me unless it’s a vital conversation about him, or about divorce details. She’s basically grey rocking me and I know I’m supposed to do it to her but I can’t bring myself to. I miss talking to her, about anything. She was my best friend for almost 11 years, …
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 04:00 PM
6

Would I have married my STBX if I knew she was going to divorce me eventually? That’s a tough question. I don’t know if we would have had our son otherwise, so I guess I still would. Probably would also have made the divorce bomb a lot easier to take knowing it was coming, and would have allowed me to really cherish the best years we had even more. As to whether I’ll ever remarry, I don’t know. My divorce isn’t even over yet, so it’s too fresh to know how I’ll feel down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 01:01 AM
9

Also 43. Obviously far from 59, but still feels bleak at the moment. Been looking at dating apps and there’s some good looking women in their 40’s (who are either way out of my league or not my type), but most are women who say they’re 35 but look 47. So many.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 12:01 AM
2

Indeed. The stress diet is no joke. I don’t know what I weighed before (stopped stepping on the scale long ago because I knew I wouldn’t like what it said), but I definitely lost 80% of my dad gut and can see some abs again. Trying to keep it that way.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 11:55 PM
3

I still cling to some of that hope too. But my logical brain says it’s never gonna happen. She’s off to find new dick and she’s never coming back for me. Then my hope starts seeping in, thinking “well if you go to the gym, start getting ripped, and get some more tattoos (something she likes), maybe a year from now she’ll realize she made a mistake and want you back.” Stupid hope.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 11:49 PM
3

Yeah, agreed. STBX kept saying he’ll be okay because he’s only 4 and won’t remember. She was emotionless when we told him that mommy and daddy wouldn’t be living together anymore and wouldn’t be married anymore, meanwhile I’m crying and he’s crying. It doesn’t really matter if he remembers or not; that’s his new reality and it’s not the reality he should be living. And I’ll be damned if I’m not going to ensure that he views me as an awesome dad. While she’s throwing him the Nintendo Switch so sh…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 08:08 PM
6

Geez, your story could be mine, minus the surgeon stuff and the therapy (I suggested it after she dropped the divorce bombshell but she refused). I’m only 1.5 months in. It sucks so much because I know she’s out there getting all the likes, matches, and attention from a bunch of guys who look way better than me (I married up, truly). So I feel your pain, brother. I really do. Mine also makes much more than me, and I think maybe she resented me for not being the breadwinner. But, in a divorce at …
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 06:47 PM
3

I’m in the thick of things with my divorce (she dropped the bomb a month and a half ago). I bought a couple dumbbells for home and have been using them but only for very short times. Nothing that’s gonna get me into shape (silver lining is all the stress from this led me to lose my appetite and within a few weeks I’d lost like 80% of my dad gut, so I’m trying to keep it off). I’ve decided I need to work out properly in a gym, but the idea of just going alone is not appealing to me, especially be…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 04:27 PM
3

Not sure what you mean by interim support. And honestly, I want this over as soon as we can. She flipped that switch and is a completely different person now. I mean, I still love her … or who she used to be, I guess … but this has taken a toll on me mentally and emotionally and the quicker I can get through this part, the better.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 11:16 PM
3

We both are trying to avoid going to trial and spending that kind of money. We both agreed early on that we were going to try to do this uncontested. We both agreed custody would be 50/50, we both are keeping our cars, not going after each other’s retirement funds, etc., and have no debts other than the mortgage. The only things that were up in the air were the buyout amount and CS. Her consult lawyer tried to figure the buyout amount she should offer by taking what we owe now each month on the …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 11:00 PM
4

I feel you. I’m just starting my divorce journey, but I too have had to move back in with my parents because I don’t make enough to live comfortably on my own, and support our son (almost 5yo) half the time. If I got a 2-bedroom apartment for us, I’d have like $350 to live on each month after paying all the bills, gas, groceries, etc. It really sucks. So I’m with my parents, who’ve been very helpful, and just saving $1000 a month. I sure as hell don’t want to live with them forever, and I don’t …
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 03:36 PM
6

Yeah I get it man. Currently separated, waiting for her to file. We have a 4-year-old together. Splitting 50/50, and doing the 2-2-3 schedule. I hate letting him go, I hate that I only get to be in half his life. I’m in a somewhat advantageous position in that I moved back in with my parents (who already watched him for us while we work) and I get off earlier than she does, so even on my off days I still get to see him for a bit before she picks him up. But it’s hard. I still wish we were an int…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:17 PM
7

I’m almost exactly the same as you. After she had our little boy she started acting a little different. She told me later that she thought it would be different raising a child together (she raised her first on her own when the bio dad left before she gave birth), even though I thought I was doing everything a dad should do … changing diapers, feeding, watching him at night so she could get some good sleep, etc. But apparently it wasn’t how she dreamed it. She never really lost the baby weight a…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 01:26 PM
1

Yeah, I get what you’re saying. Let me rephrase. With the $450 in support I can technically afford like $1000 rent, which is good for a decent 2-bedroom apartment around here. After other bills, groceries, and stuff, I’d probably be looking at living on around $375/mo. And that’s with us continuing to split the cost of certain bills that would be more expensive for us both otherwise. So it’s technically doable, it would just limit me. Yes, I’m probably a bit of a pushover. I think the main thing…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 12:30 AM
1

I just hired my lawyer a couple days ago so we haven’t had a chance to sit down and talk about things yet (she’s hired hers too but hasn’t initiated the filing yet), but of course I will see what he says. Obviously I don’t want to get screwed, but I also really don’t want to make this contested and spend more money than I have to. The $450/mo in support she agreed to comes out to be around $70k over the next 13 years until he’d be 18. I assume there’ll be some kind of clause in the agreement tha…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 12:35 AM
1

Neither one of us wants to pay more than we have to to get through this. Whether it’s a mediator or a trial. If we can agree on shit and do this uncontested I think that’s better for all of us, including our son, and I’m so glad she’s not trying to fight for anything besides 50/50 custody. I’m honestly fine with no maintenance if I get the $45k and $450/mo in support. I hate what she’s done and that all of this is happening but I’m not trying to ruin her financially, especially when I’m sending …
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 11:55 PM
2

Not sure if you read all the way through, but we’re proceeding with divorce not separation, and as she is the one who makes more money, she will end up being the one paying me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 11:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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