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zazaleaz Archive

View 1 posts and 231 comments by zazaleaz on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

FINE AF FRIDAYSzazaleaz/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:09 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
72

She didn't even say she wouldn't go, she just expressed feelings of uneasiness, which anyone would have in this situation. Moving is stressful and there are a lot of unknowns! It sounds like he resents that she didn't jump for joy and go move without a second thought and now he's going to turn down the job basically to spite her. Instead, he should divorce her so she's free of him and can potentially meet someone who actually cares. Or be alone, which would be better than being with this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 09:21 PM
3

Hey I resemble this remark! (Or I did in my 20s...) and I never slept over at anyone's place or had them stay at mine unless there was some hope of hanky panky!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 05:22 PM
40

Agreed, and don't be the woman "bff" either. I made that mistake and he was really just waiting for the opportunity to try to get me to touch his pee pee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 02:39 PM
38

I'm sorry but what adults have "sleepovers"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 02:38 PM
21

I'd definitely rather have the money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:26 AM
87

Off topic, but it still shocks me to hear the big butt thing. When I was a teen/20-something having a big butt was absolutely shameful. We all wanted as flat a butt as you could possibly get and hid our butts as much as possible with long shirts or tying a sweatshirt around the waist. Never did I think there would come a day when a big butt was in fashion. And of course it happened when I was already past giving a crap what men think about me anyway! The big boobs part never changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/21 02:36 AM
10

Agreed. I'd just stop and stand there. You can't follow someone who isn't walking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 06:53 PM
114

I might be too old but... I don't actually know what makes someone a "zoomer" or what their styles and hobbies are! But I have noticed all the fast fashion looks exactly like what I wore in high school in the 90s and that amuses me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 04:59 PM
25

Bad for everyone. Many of these menz will become outright criminals when their moms stop letting them live in the basement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 03:38 PM
5

Women never came together just to gossip. Having friends and talking about your lives is a social need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 06:10 PM
36

This is an excellent post. One of my good friends is currently going through treatment for stage 4 ovarian cancer (treatment will not lead to a "cure" but hopefully will extend her life and give her better quality of life). I hope you don't mind if I piggyback on this post to say, please get your screenings but also, there is no screening for ovarian cancer - that is why it is called the "silent killer". Catching it in an early stage is rare. Always pay attention to your body. If something is no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:56 PM
10

HoW DaRe YOu ShAMe TheIR SeXuAlITy???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:38 AM
43

Or they're "polyamorous". Hello OR sisters!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 12:51 PM
19

She talks to him through those headphones while he finds peace customizing his weapons. Mmmkay
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 12:10 AM
11

He, like men do, thinks women are basically children who need paternal guidance to function in the most basic way. Imagine being such a condescending ahole you would post something like this thinking your position is sympathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 04:54 PM
13

My personal favorite is "I didn't know you wanted me to do that, why didn't you ask?" The thing you wanted is basic affection, him to clean up after himself, to be told you are loved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 01:37 PM
3

Disgusting. I pay for my friends when I know I make more than them and it would help them out. My friends! I don't even live with them, I'm just a decent person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 12:51 PM
19

It's just a coping mechanism. Some people's main way of dealing with pain is to do some mental gymnastics to convince ourselves it's not so bad. We have been known to do it for other aspects of our lives too, like our jobs or the places we live. You know the meme of the dog sitting in the fiery room saying "this is fine."? That's us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 01:00 PM
5

I used to think that, but in my 40s now and have no examples of male friends who didn't eventually try to get out their peens, even when I really thought we were just buddies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 01:48 PM
4

Yeah I didn't even read this article because of the headline. 43, never had kids, never will, no regrets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:44 PM
17

I don't think there's anything pathological about not wanting children and/or being scared of pregnancy. It's very rational.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 12:40 PM
15

This game is fun! I would have 1. Bedroom 2. Home office 3. Guest room 4. Art studio ... now I think I might need 5 or 6 bedrooms actually!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:32 PM
5

My state is about to hopefully enact a law to ban those "love letters". They really should not exist, very discriminatory. https://katu.com/news/local/oregon-lawmakers-pass-bill-banning-love-letters-during-home-sales
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:29 PM
184

I'm in camp "you can't be friends with men" over here. They're always just waiting to get their peepee out, and they can wait YEARS, and all the time you think you're just buds, they're just waiting for the moment when you might touch the peepee. I seriously had a male "friend" who waited for 5+ YEARS to "make his move." Don't do it. Women make better friends anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:17 PM
18

I'm not even that tall. I'm 5'9" and have been told more than once that I am "too tall" and that a man wants a "woman he can throw around". Ew so nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:15 PM
10

All men are the worst. FIFY 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 01:14 PM
5

That sounds very interesting. I learned a skill like this when I was a waitress and it has served me well for my whole career.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 06:37 PM
88

This advice may not apply to you, but I would advise my younger self not to get into "drinking culture". I thought it was fun at the time, but in retrospect it was just a huge waste of valuable time and money. If I'd gotten my shit together sooner and not cared whether I was "cool" or not, I would have gotten to a better place in life much sooner. Alcohol is at the center of a lot of really bad things - health issues, sleep issues, men issues, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:51 PM
2

This is definitely one of those "if you have to post it online and ask, you already know the answer." Be confident in yourself. You only get one life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:49 PM
54

The idea that we should have to explicitly communicate to a romantic partner that we need affection, respect, equality etc is so absurd. If he wanted to, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:47 PM
15

I definitely prefer friendships with women to any other relationship. Especially now that I'm older and my sex drive bit the dust after too many years of learning just how unappealing men actually are outside of fantasies. You just have to go pursue the friendships the same way you would dating, if you feel this is lacking in your life. Put in effort and you will find there are many women out there who feel the same way and are also looking for friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:00 PM
153

It's way too dangerous to depend on some man anyway, even if you think he's a good man and even if you would like to quit working. I know far too many women in very bad situations they feel they can't leave due to being dependent on men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:40 PM
11

I don't understand why anybody wants to make anybody eat anything they don't want to eat for any reason! Who cares if it's an allergy or a preference or she just doesn't want to eat that thing because she isn't in the mood for it. Stop trying to make people eat things! No means no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 08:26 PM
98

This is a defense mechanism. If she faced how unfair it is and how poorly she's being treated, she'd have to face the painful emotions and acknowledge her relationship isn't good for her. That would be unpleasant at any time, but she's pregnant to the idea of losing the relationship is subconsciously terrifying. She's posting this because she is trying to convince herself it's all great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 02:26 PM
21

Yeah apparently so. And these young women post pictures of their faces and they look absolutely normal. Beautiful even! But someone has convinced them they have "moon face" and that is apparently a terrible thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 03:01 AM
56

The one that's getting me lately is "puffy face". I have a few health issues that cause others to stress about "puffy face" or "moon face". Tbh I'm not convinced it's even real. Never has a man ever complained about this and I've never noticed it on myself but some women on these health issue subs are driving themselves crazy over it almost every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:52 PM
23

We all have mothers, women too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 07:58 PM
83

Yes, I cringe at so much being blamed on mothers as if these children sprung from the womb without any male involvement at all. That's it's own kind of misogyny. Not that it isn't sometimes the case, but as we know, fathers are a problem as well so jumping to the conclusion that it's always the mothers fault isn't right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 07:16 PM
96

A "traditional woman" would not let your ass play video games and watch porn all day, my dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:07 PM
23

What is this from? I would like to see the actual document so the context can be understood. Sometimes I really hate the meme-ification of everything. It removes all context.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:23 PM
20

What Is a White Woman, Anyway? Quite a worthwhile read, IMO. https://digitalcommons.law.yale.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1045&context=yjlf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:21 PM
92

Next he can wear a fat suit to find out what it's like to be fat, put on blackface to find out what it's like to be black, and walk down the street holding hands with another man to find out what it's like to be gay! There's no other way to know! He's truly doing god's work here. \s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 01:05 PM
59

I've been a fan of hers for a long time, was really excited to hear her! She's so right too- men can be better. They just have to want to and a lot of them don't want to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 07:22 PM
38

They literally resent you for liking them. I learned this lesson the hard way, over and over and over: you cannot have a good relationship with a person who hates himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:11 PM
5

This woman doesn't have a husband, she has three kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:04 PM
104

...extremely low standards due to the bar being literally on the floor and fear of being alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 05:32 PM
15

This book was very powerful and very sad. I remember when I read it, one of my male friends on Goodreads said he didn't think he could stomach reading it. Probably just didn't want the truth to invade his enjoyment of porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:33 AM
5

She was prostituted :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:32 AM
260

Nothing says "sexy" like caring for a giant man toddler.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:27 AM
14

Somehow I ended up in two different relationships like that in my life. Then when I dumped them, it was all "but I love you and can't live without you!" BS. They gave all their attention and affection to video games instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:06 PM
33

The thing that is different about this group vs other women-only groups/forums that have existed in the past and been banned is that this one is really aimed at straight or bi women (women who are sexually attracted to men). In my past experiences with women-only groups there was often an undercurrent of the expectation that hetero women should abandon all relationships with men, and condescension toward women who are sexually attracted to men, and I never found that particularly helpful or real…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 06:11 PM
8

Self declared food police 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:07 PM
26

Yup. I have celiac disease and there are very few people on this earth I will accept food from under any circumstances. People seem to be a special kind of asshole about gluten free diets because "iTs A fAd" and they're downright rude about it. But even beyond the ones with dismissive or bad intentions, it's also just hard for the general person who doesn't deal with an issue like this to maintain vigilance around food at all times. Sometimes the mistakes are honest mistakes. BUT if it's an hone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:12 PM
27

I don't understand why this guy would want a relationship with a woman IRL when he has already found his one true love, porn. Why don't you marry it, guy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:59 PM
7

Oh he talked to his date! Prince Charming we have here. So much effort! Planned a date and had conversation! Whoa be still my beating heart, how could these terrible women be so cruel to this fantastic man???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 02:49 AM
16

The internet sure is filling these dudes' heads with a lot of nonsense. Get off the internet and go get a real personality, guy. Try to forget all you read and never speak this language again or even the "post-wall whales" aren't ever going to want your sorry ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:37 PM
24

Liberal feminism functions like a coping mechanism for these women. When a person is stuck in a situation, sometimes she will find a way to make it ok mentally rather than trying to change it or get out of it. Sometimes this involves some complicated mental gymnastics to convince yourself you like the way things are. Particularly in cases like our lives under patriarchy, where it might seem like there is no way out, finding a way to make it tolerable in your mind is a way to cope with it. People…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:52 PM
8

I’m sure that might be true, but there’s also some pain and disappointment involved in all of this- realizing being alone is better than being in a bad relationship is a good realization. But I also think there’s some mourning that can be involved with coming to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:34 PM
13

The answer to all of life's problems is jeggings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:27 PM
47

Flip this. Men are more concerned about their potential wife's visual appeal than anything else. That is what's really nuts. It's perfectly reasonable and highly rational to want the person you're going to share your life with to have resources and not become a burden on you, support you, support your future children (should you have them), to improve your social standing which brings numerous life-improving benefits. That's all perfectly reasonable. What's not reasonable would be choosing a par…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:04 PM
99

I honestly think that because we are actual people who have real emotions and want a serious relationship, women do "bond" with men in a way that can be detrimental when they're not worthy. It's like even with all the negatives, you still feel that "bond" and it's our own minds/emotions playing tricks on us. But it's also actually tied to something empathetic and vulnerable and beautiful at the core, our desire to have that "real love" or whatever. It's even worse when you have a long history wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 01:35 AM
79

If you have to ask for relationship advice on the internet, the answer is always the same: dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:19 PM
16

That’s a great book. Silvia Federici is amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 02:41 AM
7

I know this is generally true, no argument from me, but I actually work in a field where we are discouraged from even having LinkedIn due to court issues- we are expert witnesses and anything you post can end up coming back to haunt you. So I actually know some very successful and intelligent people, men and women, who do not have LinkedIn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:49 PM
5

I'm glad I'm not younger, honestly. Older men have their own problems too, obviously, but the social media world is just so toxic and terrible all around. I deleted my own accounts except Reddit and Instagram (which I only use to follow local businesses and other artists). I tried OLD when it first became a thing, back in the early 2000s. No apps back then. Still a shit show. I would never try it again and would honestly prefer to find a guy who doesn't care about social media or the internet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:11 PM
9

I wonder if this is also true for older guys? (I am older, so I'm not talking about an age gap relationship). It seems reasonable to me that a man in his late 40s/early 50s might not be on social media because we didn't grow up with it the way younger people have. But I may be kidding myself, what do you think?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:00 PM
103

Especially since they’re generally incapable of touch without sexual intent. They don’t do cuddling or consoling or a hug without an expectation of sex. That’s not a “love language” it’s a porn language.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:05 AM
57

Yeah I've seen that. What could be a bigger turn on than knowing you're only slightly more interesting than a video game, if that? 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:56 PM
18

Yes they changed the advice several years ago - if you test negative for HPV, they no longer recommend doing them annually, and in my experience are pretty aggressive in telling you you don't need them more often. I started having some symptoms (probably perimenopause at my age, but you never know) and asked if I should get one and they were pretty adamant that I didn't need one. I am suspicious that since I never had kids and don't want any, they don't see my uterus as worth bothering to save. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:07 PM
96

The love languages quiz actually helped me because I realized I gave all of them and got zero in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:48 PM
52

Homosociality explains so many things about men. The one that really gets me is the part where they have sex with women and don't even enjoy the sex for sex's sake, what they're really about is how cool it's going to make them look to their buddies when he tells them about it. Bonus if you sent him nudes he can share with them or took video he can show them. Homosociality explains this behavior, which I always found so bizarre before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:04 PM
21

I'm with you. I've had two long term living-together relationships and was truly glad when the end came there was no legal crap to deal with. No merged accounts. Just the emotional part is bad enough without all that. Just make sure you are aware of the common law marriage laws where you live. In the US it varies from state to state, but in many states, living together for a certain length of time is legally considered de facto marriage. If you were in this situation with a vindictive man, he co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:57 PM
30

Doing the bare minimum makes them feel like it's sufficient because the bar is so fucking low due to most guys doing absolutely nothing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:50 PM
199

The wife could have been me. But thankfully I never married him. It's happened to me twice in my life, actually. Then when I said "this is over" it's all shock and "but I love you and can't live without you!" Well. You have a strange way of showing it, guys. They even chose video games over sex. I'll never date someone who plays video games again, not even casually plays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 07:59 PM
8

The women who post comments like that have internalized misogyny so hardcore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 12:34 PM
8

Anime fan = dealbreaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 01:04 AM
415

I think today we also have men who are so homophobic they don't have real friends either. So they don't have fulfilling relationships with women, because women are just sex objects to them. And they don't have fulfilling relationships with other men because they're afraid of being "gay". So they have no fulfilling relationships at all, and then wonder why they're porn-addicted video game-addicted, depressed, anxious and miserable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 02:19 PM
115

Internalized misogyny is the real deal. I'm in my 40s, so I am very forgiving of young women and mistakes I myself used to make as well. Whether it's "pick me" or "not like the other girls" or whatever, it all boils down to internalized misogyny. You can't see the water when you're swimming in the ocean. I also remember being in my 20s and finding my first online feminist forum and the women there being so dismissive of me. I won't be like that. I understand what it's like to grow up in our worl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 06:02 PM
60

Ah this is very useful. It never occurred to me that my "pride" in being a woman who doesn't "snoop" is possibly misguided. Oh god, now I'm scared to look!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 02:09 AM
246

That's a lot more effort than most human males will attempt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 02:03 PM
21

Great post, and best wishes to you. I just wanted to tell you that I'm in charge of hiring people for my department where I work and I don't notice "gaps" at all. All I look at is experience, education, communication skill, and attitude. A lot of people have gaps on their resumes, but it is truly none of my business. People have lives and sometimes part of their lives is unemployment for many reasons, none of which should matter at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 11:38 PM
59

That's because we just play games like they are... games! It's just an amusing thing to do sometimes, not our only reason for living.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 10:35 PM
32

Total plant sisters ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 10:34 PM
61

Honestly I really have a thing for awkward looking guys with big noses, like Adam Driver. Goddamn Adam Driver is hot. I can't even really explain why. I could list other celebrities who are attractive, but for some reason he's my top fantasy pick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:45 PM
302

I think my vagina just permanently closed after reading that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 05:31 PM
7

43 here, same. Not even a stinking flower. Not once, without me prodding him first which ruined it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 12:59 PM
26

The thought has crossed my mind: we're all drag queens now! I watch makeup tutorials despite having not worn any makeup other than lipstick since like 2001, it's like watching an alien being transform from one form to another. Fascinating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 09:52 PM
9

I'm in my 40s and look younger than I am. I've never used anything on my face - I just wash with Burts Bees sensitive skin cream cleanser. Been using that for about 15 years now. Stay out of the sun and/or wear sunscreen. I also never wear foundation or anything that can block skin. I kind of like the idea of these skincare products, because I like things that smell good (I'm a big perfume fan) but every time I have tried a product on my skin, it made things worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 04:56 PM
81

I hate to say this but most of what is sold as "skincare" is doing absolutely nothing beneficial, may be doing some harmful things, and is costing us a lot of $$. It seems like a lot of women today have been led to believe that spending tons of money on products to make skin "better" is "healthy" but most of it is just a lot of nonsense, frankly. Sure, being hygienic is important and so is wearing sunscreen. But these "routines" with tons of steps and various chemicals are totally not necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 03:22 PM
700

Yes, this makes me uncomfortable as well. I'm in my 40s and the trend toward stage makeup becoming everyday makeup is so obviously caused by social media. Stage makeup exists because it exaggerates features on stage. Cameras are unforgiving as well, and seeing one's own face in a video is a jarring experience if you're not accustomed to it. Since everything is video, the excessive makeup became the trend. I also think there's something going on here where women who are expressing high standards …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:15 PM
3

Not if you're trying to prove what a cool laid-back low maintenance down for anything gal you are! 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 01:17 AM
19

I'll bite :) I don't think of radfem as an identity but rather a set of beliefs which you do not have to adhere to (it's not a religion). I don't see why you can't believe the parts you agree with and be skeptical of the other. I don't consider myself "a radfem" or any other political label like that. I actually think it's generally harmful and pigeonholes people into rigid thought structures. In reality I probably agree with about 93.6% of the generally accepted radical feminist thought- but ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 10:44 PM
160

Ohhh now things make so much more sense. I do love hiking (alone! TYVM) and sometimes I will see a couple where the woman is very overdressed for hiking/wearing dressy shoes and I will wonder what is going on!? Now I think I get it- it's a DATE! She probably showed up expecting to go to a restaurant and here he drags her off on some secluded hiking trail in her dress. Oh man, that is sad. And dangerous. No ladies, do not go hiking with some man you don't know. Scary stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 05:29 PM
1

That was very good! Thank you for the suggestion. A lot of it certainly resonated with my own experiences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 05:08 PM
5

I noticed this on Apple podcast too, but I was able to listen on google.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 04:36 PM
30

How is it being "canceled" if she is now getting more exposure in places she's never been before and reaching people who never would have heard of her otherwise?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:52 PM
4

Oh man, I wish one of those supposed "hoez" would steal my man. What a great favor they'd be doing me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:11 PM
6

It's definitely very hard to untangle the mess of what is a symptom vs. a cause. I'm sorry to hear about your aunt, she sounds awesome. I just wish people wouldn't get so trite and condescending about weight. There's almost nobody who is overweight and hasn't tried to lose it or at least wished they could lose it or maybe even did lose it and gained it back. I can say that when I successfully got myself into the "healthy weight range" a couple of times in my life, it took constant dedication to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 05:20 AM
8

I wasn’t going to say my health issues but since you said so, celiac disease is also one of my issues and I experienced the same thing! And hypothyroidism. And I had mono as a child very badly and that’s when the weight gain started. I’ve lost weight and gained weight and I know allllll about it. At my age, I’m only willing to devote a certain amount of my time to focusing on that particular issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 01:25 AM
1

Top comment on this thread. You said it all and I thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:47 PM
24

I think it's important to try to be healthy in whatever way that manifests itself in your life, but I also think focusing on other women's body size/shape isn't actually doing anybody any good. We all have complex and varied histories, which can include eating disorders or physical health issues, or having become overweight/obese in childhood which really sets one up for a lifetime of struggle. What's healthy for one person, might not be healthy for another. What bothers me personally about "bod…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 10:15 PM
4

Toxic masculinity is a big part of it. They're afraid if they work hard and are conscientious, their buddies will think they are "gay."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 09:42 PM
142

I was just reading a horrifying post on a relationship sub where the woman's husband wants to cancel a vacation because they will share a bedroom with the kids for 12 days and he won't be able to have sex... then she goes on to say she never wants to have sex but she gives in to him because he wants it at least 5x a week! She seems to be completely unaware of how awful and wrong this is. Apparently she has told him and he doesn't care, he "needs" sex all the time. Some men really have zero human…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 01:59 PM
103

Me, except I don't want to visit with other people's kids either!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 02:21 AM
71

Omg I just remembered my friend telling me that she preferred smaller penises because of pain/discomfort caused by larger ones. So she had told her sexual partner at the time that she really enjoyed his size because larger would be painful. Dude was mad! He'd rather she didn't enjoy sex/was in pain that accept than his penis was average/smaller. He was mad! They don't want to pleasure women, they want to cause pain. Nasty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 02:10 AM
17

The number of men on Reddit who are obsessed with the idea that women are abusing men in droves and it's such a huge problem the world won't admit. Like their weird obsession with Johnny Depp/Amber Heard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:19 PM
16

"Geez, I just want to give a woman a compliment!" (Hasn't given his gf a compliment then entire time they've been together)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:16 PM
53

Can I just set up house with the two other women and leave him out of it? That sounds alright.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 09:28 PM
739

Lol, but tbh I don't think most of us are treating men anywhere near as bad as they treat women. I don't want to treat men badly at all, I just want to have nothing to do with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:32 PM
15

He's very high up on the hottest men list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:06 PM
17

I live with my bf of many years. The relationship has other (major) issues, but chores are not one of them. It honestly never occurred to me to do his laundry or cook his meals. Maybe because I was raised by a single mother I never knew this was something that was done? We each do our own laundry, cook our own dinner (unless eating together which we usually don't - we have different dietary wants/needs), do our own dishes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 01:03 PM
4

These are all valid points, if you extrapolate a lot about this woman's situation which we do not know, but I also think it is crucial that we can state that this is absolutely not acceptable behavior and that when/if a person is able to, they should not subject themselves or their children to this type of person. There is no "piling on" happening here, simple statement of fact: this is not something any woman should be ok with. He is a danger. If it's all an act because she's too vulnerable to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:22 PM
4

I'm just saying, instead of saying she didn't mind, as she said in this comment, she should be saying "he's a sick piece of shit and I divorced him immediately."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 06:35 PM
2

I wasn't talking about what she should have done in that moment- I was talking about the post saying "I am fine with it." No reason on earth to do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 05:45 PM
57

I don't really have a problem believing the man is that disgusting, only that the woman is ok with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 01:14 PM
14

Obviously the daddy part is messed up and he watches too much porn. But the other part of this is that he found something that bothers her so he keeps doing it over and over and over like an annoying little child who just wants any attention he can get good or bad. He relishes making her upset. Dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 12:55 PM
627

My brain will not allow me to believe this is real. I simply cannot believe that a woman in labor "wouldn't mind".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 12:47 PM
4

Yes, I dated a guy like this. All he did was video games and working out. So strange.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 02:00 PM
84

TBH I don't think I would ever truly trust a man again regardless of how good he seemed. It's been my experience that even the ones you think you know never fail to surprise you at the most inopportune moment with their depravity. I am not saying there has never been a good man- I'm sure there are one or two, but at my age they're definitely already partnered up. It all just seems like more trouble than it's worth. I wish more women saw this so we could commit to each other as devoted roommates …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 03:53 AM
96

No girl, you RAGE at him and make sure he knows how upset you are. If you don't, the next time he forgets you on a holiday, he'll say "but you didn't tell me it bothered you! How am I supposed to know?" No you be explicit about exactly how he fucked up and what he should do differently going forward. When he still doesn't do it (highly likely) at least he can't say you didn't tell him. Speaking from experience of letting holidays slide and just getting more and more sad about it as time went by,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 08:09 PM
17

I wasn't raised religiously at all. Nobody really taught me anything that could be considered "sex-negative" by libfems except maybe the high school health teacher. I thought porn was cool and normal as a teen into my 20s and even early 30s. It took me until I was older to really think about it and form my own opinions that weren't the product of my environment. The other really irritating thing about this sex therapist is she doesn't respect people's (women's) boundaries. She seems to think che…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 12:40 PM
90

Ugh yeah. I've encountered this when listening to a relationship advice podcast and it's infuriating. She completely dismissed the woman's concerns as being prudish and due to being raised with negative attitudes around sexuality. Um no. It's these pornsick people who have the truly negative attitude around sexuality. Porn cheapens and degrades sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 04:55 AM
13

I like beards, but only if they are neat/groomed. This hobo beard look has got to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:09 AM
31

There are far more rich chads than there are HVM as far as I can tell, and there aren't that many rich chads either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 02:06 AM
22

I asked her where she heard that word and she said here. I used to hear it when I was much younger (I'm in my 40s) but I had not heard it for many years before finding FDS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 05:09 PM
38

It makes them look even more like giant toddlers. Once you imagine a man as a giant toddler, it cannot be unseen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:34 PM
73

Three of my friends who never used Reddit much have already discovered FDS. I found out one friend had discovered FDS because she said "scrotes" in a text 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 01:29 PM
61

I would put at the top: If casual sex wasn't physically dangerous for women (STIs such as HPV which men may show no symptoms of but can give you a form of cancer that can kill you) If pregnancy wasn't a life-ruining possibility, including potentially killing you, even IF the male takes some responsibility for his offspring, which is not at all guaranteed. Casual sex will never be as risky for men as it is for women, and we need to understand that and protect ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:26 PM
5

My brother is like an actual sociopath or something. He's super charming and funny and super cruel. He fools people when he wants to, including therapists. He's a pathological liar. We don't speak anymore, but seeing as how I lived with him for my formative years, I now understand a big part of why I had certain expectations when interacting with men as a younger woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 12:20 PM
44

I see. If you can't get out of it, I would keep my head down and get through it. Don't interact more than necessary. Do your job and no more. Leave as soon as you're able.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:23 AM
132

Document, document document. Then go to a lawyer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:06 AM
40

Growing up is definitely a part of things here but there are lots of ways to grow up without wearing underwear on the cover of a magazine. There is a whole wide world between overalls and corsets. I wish she had done something more glamorous/elegant and less porn-y. That would have honestly been more of a sign of maturing and less a sign of being roped into the tired old narrative all teen female stars are funneled into. It's kinda sad and boring honestly. Not that she doesn't look beautiful (an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 11:43 PM
10

I loved this podcast and wanted to add a major dick turnoff: when the peen is super RED. Like dog red. I've only seen this on white guys- those red dicks look angery or burned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:42 PM
27

"Cheating" doesn't say who cheated on who. Willing to bet the women were, for the most part, cheated on and the men were, for the most part, the cheaters
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 08:30 PM
43

A lot of men have no apparent concept of consoling or any sort of physical touch other than sexual. They're completely emotionally stunted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 06:59 PM
51

I don't think men ever love actual lesbians- they just love lesbian porn (which is usually not lesbian sex anyway, it's two women performing for the male gaze.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:47 PM
36

My brother, unfortunately. I realize that a lot of my issues with men stem from my relationship with my brother. I always wanted my brother, 2 years younger, to want to be my friend and maybe even look up to me. But he is not a good person. I had a revelation in my late 30s that I had an inexplicable desire to be accepted by degenerate men like my brother. Once I recognized it I was able to start to stop trying to get approval from degenerate men, and to look down on them instead- which is what …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:45 PM
44

I'd be willing to bet primitive women ran around as much or more than men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:10 PM
36

And when they do get married and try that shit, they can now be divorced, which was also not the case in the past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:07 PM
220

Women aren't suffering in silence anymore either. We can all go online and see read the truth of how parenthood is playing out for many women and decide to take a pass on that mess!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:08 AM
9

I was thinking the same thing. She's probably relieved not to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 01:57 PM
22

My job (US) offers parental leave to men. I have personally witnessed two men I work with use it as extra vacation time. The way it works where I am is they can take it intermittently so it's not like they take off for like, you know, the birth of the baby and the newborn bonding. Oh no, they basically take it whenever they want an extra day off and it is convenient to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:35 PM
62

It's something they do for their homies, so their man friends can know how powerful and virile they are and they can bond homosocially. The funny part is, they don't even realize this themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:12 AM
5

Absolutely. The kids know. Parents think they're hiding their relationship issues from the kids, but the kids know. It is affecting them. It's better for you to be single than for your kids to watch a bad relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:53 PM
22

I've been adamantly child free my whole life (currently in my 40s and hoping for the day to come soon when that choice is gone for good!) and a big part of it was the realization that no matter how much you think you love the man, he can leave whenever he wants to- which is what happened to my mother when my father left her with two kids, 2 and 4, for a much younger woman. If you have children you have to face the truth that you very well may end up raising them on your own, and that was a hell …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:46 PM
10

I agree, especially today. It used to be that you had to go to some potentially embarrassing trouble to get porn - now it's free on your phone. I remember explaining how popular porn is to an older woman friend of mine who just didn't realize they were all watching it. She had a lightbulb moment about her recent sexual experiences then, and how the men now seemed to expect different things than when she was younger. Different as in painful and unpleasant acts nobody actually enjoys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:42 PM
11

It's definitely revolting. Everyone is always so... greasy. Yuck. I don't really get the whole thing as a concept honestly. Seeing other people have (gross) sex is nothing like having sex yourself. Just like watching a video of someone eat a great dinner does nothing for me, but I am a foodie IRL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:39 PM
46

I swear 90% of dead bedrooms are because the man is using all his sexual energy on porn so he doesn't even try to have actual sex and/or the woman knows he watches porn and is disgusted and turned off by it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 12:34 PM
17

It's a tired and predictable playbook for female stars. First the sexy makeover. Next stop, have some kind of drug addiction/mental health crisis/breakdown. Over and over and on it goes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 02:14 PM
17

Michael B Jordan is hot. Just had to get that out of the way. He's also 34, not 19. He's also doing something active with his hot bod, not standing there trussed up in a garment that makes it difficult to breathe so his waist can look impossibly small or shoes that crush his toes. It's not the same at all. Men are sexy just by existing. Women are supposed to tie ourselves up in knots and stare vacantly into the camera as if it's our lover, never smiling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:27 PM
26

But when is the last time a teenage boy donned a corset on the cover of a fashion magazine anyway? Nobody talks about men sexualizing themselves because they don't do it. Because it's not "empowering" it's just catering to the male gaze. There is a wide world between dressing like a nun and dressing in see through lingerie on a magazine cover. No, I have personally never worn underwear in public without clothes over it. I think we should at least be honest about that. If you put on your underwea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 12:54 PM
30

Seriously? I had thought of joining assuming it's for women only. What on earth would be the rationale for allowing men on a radical feminist forum?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 12:47 PM
155

There's another subreddit with women in the title where "no misandry is allowed" and this leads to women falling all over themselves to call each other out if there's a hint of "misandry" even when no man is (apparently) participating! As you might imagine, it's difficult (and somewhat pointless) to talk about women's relationship issues under this rule, but that's exactly what they try to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 12:44 PM
43

Yes, and still the "feminine" way of communication is derided. Men are "more confident" but what that really means is they don't ask for help, they just assume they know everything, they don't bother seeking out advice from those with better expertise in areas outside their own. They are over-confident and that can lead to major mistakes and unnecessary costs. But I know more than one woman who was told she needed to be more "confident" and not ask for advice from others. Like what kind of stupi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:23 PM
149

There's been a ton of advice for women in how to be more like men in our careers- be more confident, be more assertive, etc (don't get me started on why it doesn't necessarily work for women) but there seems to be a lack of advice for men on how to be more like women. I know it's because of misogyny and general woman-hatred but the world truly would be a better place if men became more empathetic and caring. Like women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:03 PM
7

She looks like a teenager who tried on some sexy clothes that’s way too old for her. It makes me uncomfortable as someone old enough to be her mother. But it makes me even more uncomfortable thinking about what men my age see when the look at this teenager. It’s sad honestly. Her oversized style was so refreshing and unique. Now she looks like she took beauty lessons from a Kardashian.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:21 PM
74

"Why won't these bitch-ass hoes date me?" A mystery indeed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:29 PM
82

Yup. He wants to eat nothing but biscuits. There's nothing stopping him from eating something else even if he "can't cook." (Won't cook)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:05 PM
114

Yup. I've been overweight most of my life with a few exceptions and when I was thin, I attracted awful men. I honestly prefer the way men act toward me when I'm overweight. It's a good filter. I feel grateful for every guy who says "no fat chicks" because that's one less douche to waste time on (thin women should ignore these men too, honestly- you can have a physical preference but you don't have to be a dick about it.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:42 PM
7

It makes me feel worse for her. Young, naive, possible "dumb" maybe just inexperienced. She's an easy target for an abusive man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 10:37 PM
22

YOu ShAmeD HeR SexUaLiTy! (For saying maybe centering dick isn't feminist)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 09:56 PM
37

Ani Difranco is the one musician from my youth who never sold out. I know selling out is apparently a goal these days, which I can't wrap my head around as a Gen Xer... but seriously you gotta listen to some old Ani lyrics, she knows what she's saying and she lived it, started her own record label instead of selling out because she knew exactly what would be expected if she did and she said nah. "The Million You'll Never Make".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:39 PM
21

Poor child. Not understanding you're in an abusive relationship is a travesty, but it's hard to imagine how she can't see it's abusive when he does it to the child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 04:52 PM
36

Why wouldn’t he? They all do this. Homosociality- it’s more about proving their manliness to other men than anything to do with women. Never trust a man with your naked photos. A HVM would not want you to send them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 02:47 PM
39

He no doubt sees it as her fault for sending the pics in the first place. Definitely not his fault for sharing them! What else could he have done? Never send nudes. Just don't do it, no good can come of it. Protect yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:38 PM
5

At this point I think I just have a blanket rule that I won't be dating anybody with depression/anxiety unless it's so under control I'd never notice. This has been an issue in every relationship I've had. To psychoanalyze myself, I think I have been drawn to severely depressed men because I was raised by a severely depressed mother. I want to be with someone who enjoys and wants to live life with me, or nobody at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:31 PM
18

That internalized misogyny gets most of us, especially when we're on the younger side. Sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:22 PM
67

100%. Sending a man nudes is not "expressing your sexuality" - no matter what the lib fem sex pozzie warriors try to brainwash us into thinking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 01:11 PM
67

If she accepts you for who you are and actually manages to help you improve yourself, you will dump her as soon as you perceive yourself to be "improved" for someone who wouldn't have put up with your original self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:58 PM
7

They don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 04:28 AM
20

That was very interesting. Maybe I do need to read Why Does He Do That afterall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 02:12 AM
4

This whole concept of insisting on dinner is very interesting to me. I haven't dated since oh... 2005 or something? I've been in an LTR since then (which needs to end soon, I realize, just haven't quite worked up the nerve yet). Anyway back when I was dating, I went on some god awful dinner dates and I swore off them, preferring drinks instead- reason being, if the guy was awful it was much shorter time commitment than dinner. I definitely do get the point of this rule, just can't help rememberi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 12:45 PM
38

I just want to know why his shirt says Davis Erection. Who is Davis and why does he have an erection and why is that something you want to advertise on your shirt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:15 PM
23

Oh how about this one! I got so sick of doing all the moving work myself, the last time we moved together I hired movers and the LVM was mad because "he doesn't trust movers they're all criminals" and had a meltdown the day of the actual move. ​ Well do the freaking work yourself and no "criminal movers" will have to come touch your precious gameshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:22 PM
331

As a fat plain woman who loves cats, I don't deserve to be treated like shit either. So there's that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 12:11 AM
10

The main topic I am wondering about is "Do HVM Exist?" I'm in my 40s and I've never met one. I don't believe in them. Maybe it's because I have been looking in the wrong places, but I truly don't believe they exist. Even when someone on here talks about their HVM, I instinctively think they're fooling themselves (I would not say this to them, or rain on anyone's parade, it's just based on my experience.) I can even think of a few men in my life who I believed to be HVM right up until they did so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:33 PM
2

I have not but perhaps I will. I'm 43 and came to that realization about 20 years ago and have since made about as much peace with it as one can make. My situation is extreme- my mother is an addict and paranoid schizophrenic. Because of her mental state, I don't feel like I blame her for the way she is, it's just one of those things. No good solution to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:41 PM
16

And that person is my mom TBH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 01:07 PM
125

It's was already a screwed up situation before the potentially haunted wedding ring came into play. I hate this about men. If I have to tell you it's my birthday, I want X and here is a link to buy me X, then I have just done all of the work for you to get me a gift to supposedly show me you care about me. If you can't do that without my input, then why am I with you? I can buy my own damn ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 01:06 PM
120

In some cases I feel it's just better if they don't try. LoTR (books) were all male characters. They didn't even try to give a woman a story aside from mentioning her as a love interest. I honestly prefer this to when they try to add women characters and do it poorly. I'd rather they just didn't try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 08:25 PM
4

It's just knowing they thought about you enough to think "she would like this" and then gifting it. TBH this has never ever, not even once in my life, happened to me from a man I was seeing or in a relationship with. From friends and family? Yes many times. I personally give a lot of gifts to everyone I care about because it's a great way to show people you're thinking about them. I especially love giving my friends thoughtful gifts for no reason. Men who don't give gifts don't appreciate gettin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 03:39 PM
26

On my list of deal-breakers now: men with no friends. As bad as the friends can be, having no friends is worse. As a compassionate and empathetic person, I am too apt to take on all of their problems and needs myself and that is not fair to me. Learned my lesson the extremely hard way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 03:17 PM
29

Call your mom, I'm sure she'd like to give you a nice hug.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:07 PM
5

Scroteweasel 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:12 AM
167

Unless you're dating them for any length of time, then they will drop all male friends and you will be solely responsible for all of their emotional and social needs. I'm not bitter or anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:10 AM
7

This really is the only reason to be up on what kinds of things MRAs say online: so you can spot them in the wild. They use a lot of language you won't hear anywhere else, and they all claim to have been physically abused or raped by women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:53 PM
4

Toxic masculinity at its stupidest. Der der der, if I take care of my health my idiot buddies will think I'm gay!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 01:47 PM
24

I agree. The car is an important part of my comment. I grew up in a small town and the "good ol boys" are scary af.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 07:44 PM
101

Gosh that's a tough one. I think the anxiety response is probably the right response- it is a dangerous situation when a man sets his sights on you and you never know when it will escalate. This is exactly what our fear intuition is made for. The only thing that stopped it for me was leaving the city altogether and getting a car. At some point I realized it had been ages since a man harassed me in public and I realized it was because I drive most places now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:19 PM
37

Bathroom in a van sounds... pretty damn disgusting. When you flush where does it "go"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 04:37 PM
384

Hygiene my dude. Running water is a necessity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 12:28 PM
17

I guess it depends what we consider recent. Sometimes it seems like people talk about hookup culture like it came with dating apps, but it didn't. I recall quite a few think pieces about how hooking up was ruining young people when I was young, 30 years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 04:53 PM
49

Nor is "hook up culture" particularly new. Quite a strange diagnosis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:28 PM
2

Everything messes with my cycle so it wouldn't surprise me. Just had my first shot of Pfizer this week, while also coincidentally on my period. Will try to remember to see if anything is off next time round.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:59 PM
45

Grandmother and mother, for me. Gen X doesn't talk about things though. Just sink into the background while the younguns and boomers argue. Not complaining.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:55 PM
72

I would like to hear her side of the story. Might be something like, "I was on this awful date with this guy and I couldn't wait for it to be over with. As soon as the check came I handed the waiter my credit card before he could even move, I was so ready to be out of there. I knew we weren't going to see each other again and I didn't want to hear him whine about me owing him. I paid for dinner to get him out of my life ASAP."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:49 PM
19

Dead bedroom in 3, 2, 1...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 01:10 PM
27

There were others but they have since been banned. Much as I love this place, I won't be surprised when the men who control Reddit have had enough of us too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:55 PM
297

This reminds me of when my father was very proud of himself for realizing that when his wife cooks him dinner, he should tell her how much he enjoys and appreciates it without her prompting him. He was in his 60s when he made this amazing discovery. He has been married 5 times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:50 PM
3

Sure, there are always exceptions. I had a wonderful male dentist who I still miss sometimes. But all in all, I would just rather not talk about my body or health with a male doctor if I don't have to. I've been to a few bad female doctors, but they never made me feel actually unsafe- which I can't say for some of my experiences with male doctors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:15 PM
63

Never go to a male doctor if you can help it. Too much risk they won't take you seriously. Not saying all women doctors are good, but at least you have a chance they can empathize with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 08:00 AM
107

Can I ask why you continue to read that sub? It sounds like it might not be the best for your personal happiness. Gotta curate what goes in, I would try not to give those people any space in my mind at all. Of course it's good to be aware of how some people think so you can avoid them, but once you have that, no reason to keep soaking it in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:57 AM
3

Know what that book is good for? Making you realize you are not getting ANY of the "love languages" at all. That's what it did for me, anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 03:06 AM
2

No surprise there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 03:05 AM
17

Meanwhile if you have a life-changing event they expect you to power through it and get back to being a sexy housekeeper like nothing ever happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:01 PM
31

Did he actually give you "words of affirmation"? As low-effort as that is, I find these guys don't even do that either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:54 PM
5

You're right I have no experience with that. In my experience everyone tells you to dump him. I now appreciate my friends even more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:15 PM
2

To be honest I personally don't believe in marriage so I actually don't know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:11 PM
5

A comment I remembered from a thread here: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mmjgl9/who_else_can_relate_my_last_ex_once_ranted_at_me/gtruwk6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 02:13 AM
13

Definitely. Maybe he's the guy who cried in his date's car about his lost foreskin and told her about the poems he's written about the trauma of being circumcised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:04 AM
138

Ok can I just say that I know this is the case and this is why I never ever asked for advice about my relationship troubles. Never ask for advice about relationship troubles unless you're ready to be told it's time to dump him. That's always going to be the overwhelming advice, and I don't just mean on FDS. I mean IRL people too. I always bottled up my relationship troubles because I didn't want to hear the (obviously correct) response to dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 11:34 PM
47

I go even further and will never mix my banking information or share a credit card with any man. There are other ways to share expenses- take turns paying a bill or split the bills up between you or one pays the other back. No matter how much I like a guy, I will not put myself in the vulnerable position of letting them access my money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 05:55 PM
5

Plus if I buy my own dinner, I don't have to put up with their company or conversation, which is totally worth paying for it myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:44 PM
110

I don't understand why she thinks she should keep him around "for the sake of her son." Why, so he can teach her son that this is how you view and treat women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:41 PM
7

Video games have been at the center of both of my failed LTRs. These men will ignore you and spend more time talking to their TV screen than you. Then they'll be all shocked when one day, you dump their ass. I'm just not going there again. If he wants to be married to his playstation, good for him. Hope they're happy together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:57 PM
46

Exactly this. Children are people but so many men just see them as a means to an end. This kid is going to have issues. No doubt daddy is complaining about the kid's mom to the kid too. No bueno.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:55 PM
61

I feel bad for the child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:23 PM
19

But if you are not into video games they will go on about how lucky some other guy is that his girlfriend is into games. Then if you go ahead and play a game with him, he will be mad if you do even remotely as well as he does or, god forbid, beat him at something competitive. Been there done that. I actually do enjoy some games myself and played a lot of them when I was a teenager/young 20s. But I will never, ever, ever date a man who plays video games again. I have never met one who had a healt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:19 PM
16

What would any woman get out of this arrangement he desires? The joy of his wonderful company?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:38 AM
10

Sure, stay away from/don't put trust in. But I still feel compassion for them and no need to denigrate them or blame them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 06:25 PM
59

I agree. I love everything about this sub except blaming other women for their "pickme"ness. I'm older and I have a lot of compassion for young women. We are all a product of our environment. They have been conditioned to accept abuse and desire these useless men. I don't blame them, I feel bad for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:06 PM
107

Exactly what I was going to say. All of these young women are gorgeous and just have a glow about them. They should just all live together and forget the men. Get some sperm from a spermbank if they want kids down the line. I'm older and I have seen how relationships crushed the glow out of all my friends. And myself too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:03 PM
8

I think you lose either way, so do what you want. Wear makeup, tighter clothes, be more "feminine" - you will get harassed by men who think you're putting on a show for them, and judged at work for "sleeping your way to the top" because you look conventionally attractive. Don't do those things, mostly you'll get ignored or men may be hostile to you (still not sure if this is better or worse than their "interest"). At work you might not "look the part" enough might be held back. Can't really win …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:19 PM
25

I just want to know where you all are finding more than one HVM. I am convinced this species is endangered if not altogether extinct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 01:06 PM
4

I'm not going to stop anybody from doing anything. Don't have that kind of power, unfortunately. But I'm not going to fall over myself to say I'm all for "drawing attention to men's issues" either. The whole world is focused on "men's issues" they don't need any more attention than they already have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:35 PM
21

I’m not all for drawing attention to “men’s issues.” How much more attention do they need FFS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 01:21 AM
91

Years down the line if she stays with this guy one day she will wake up and realize he has given her zero input into their relationship, home, or life. She will realize she chooses everything, plans everything, and even if he is a "nice guy" he just goes along with whatever she says. He will never take the initiative to celebrate a holiday or her birthday, will never plan a romantic evening, probably won't even initiate sex. She will find she feels unappreciated and undesirable. Speaking from ex…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 02:21 PM
117

As a woman it is not your place to say what's valuable, in their eyes. You are something to obtain, an attractive object, potential property. Men do not expect their property to have her own wants and needs and standards. They believe they deserve to own you, merely because they exist and are bepenised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 01:44 AM
2

Or even worse, they bought you one (shitty potted plant from Walgreens) gift one time years ago and if you bring up never buying gifts they say "I buy you gifts all the time!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 02:24 PM
2

I count emotional intelligence as part of being smart. This makes the answer obvious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:17 AM
36

The phrases "play with him" and "letting him play with others" are so gross. We're probably talking about bdsm here, not some toddler sandbox play-date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:38 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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