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View 1 post and 22 comments by zelbot87 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
26

zelbot87/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 05:01 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

It's hard to say without knowing the dynamics. Maybe you can get her out of it by having more date nights and gradually increasing the excitement? A truly good woman who is compatible is hard to come by. And remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I obviously don't know you so idk what you seek. But are you looking for a change of pace or are you willing to risk it all? My first wife wore me down and I swore I'd always be single. I reconnected with my current wife (we were fr…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 01:53 AM
2

That sucks man. I'm so sorry. She didn't touch my bank accounts but got up to 21 grand in credit card debt in my name that I didn't know existed. The judge dismissed it saying it was marital debt (which I would think would make her 50% responsible but I guess not). I have a good life now and am happy. I'm just broke. Friggin 420 per week in child support, I'm the one responsible to pay for my daughter's health insurance plus 50% for both all extra circular activities and and medical expenses. It…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 01:23 AM
1

I got caught in this same trap. I was desperate to get out and signed a horrible divorce agreement. 4 years later and now I'm paying the price (quite literally). I should have swallowed my pride and asked my parents to borrow the money for an attorney. I did attempt to take it back to court but rhe judge would have no part of it. He made his decision the day before our court date. I actually had an attorney this time too who was appalled at the judge not even giving me my time in court.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 01:18 AM
1

Thanks for checking in. That's really cool of you. Every facet of my life is pretty good except for financially still a nightmare with high child support. I have a great relationship with my daughter now but I think it's too soon for her to realize the kind of person her mother is. She's only 9 so I'm not going to tell her. She's a mamas girl and I don't want to shatter her heart. I figure she'll probably ask about thr divorce when she's older and maybe I'll tell her depending on what age she is…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 11:00 AM
1

Yep, and the courts nor the credit card companies cared.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 07:47 PM
3

I had a similar experience. I made the money and she was the one who went into the accounts to pay the bills. I found out after the divorce that I had 21,000 dollars in credit card debt in my name (they were old credit cards that I had no knowledge of her using and were not joint accounts). I questioned it in court and was shot down because it was "marital debt" even though many of the charges were for wineries and hotels in other parts of the state as well as other questionable charges. The cre…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 01:53 PM
1

I agree with the roll of the dice being more fair. It was bad. My attorney even called me to talk to me about it for an hour and a half free of charge because he was so appalled by the judges decision without even allowing my court date. You know lawyers don't do anything for free. His theory was that courts were so backed up from COVID that they were doing anything possible to rush everyone along. I knew my chances were 50-50 about his decision, but I thought that I would at least get to see th…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 06:24 AM
1

Same. My ex works part time in a restaurant as a server and you know she is pocketing the cash tips and not claiming them. I pay 420 per week in child support (I had a job that paid well above average in my field at the time of divorce, but I'll never make that kind of money again), plus health insurance for my daughter, have to split all extra circular activities and medical bills. I tried to take her to court claiming the average pay in my field and the judge "made his decision" the day before…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 04:15 AM
2

I second this. You want to model for your child what a loving and healthy relationship looks like. You don't want to normalize lack of intimacy, being distant, or just not being yourself. I was never abusive and was very careful with my actions with her mother around my daughter. But I also wasn't the role model or the parent that I wanted to be. I was always tired from depression and anxiety induced insomnia (aka less attentive and fun around my daughter) and I didn't want her to think that wha…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 02:09 AM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 11:22 PM
1

Thank you for the kind words. It means a lot. I was stupid and desperate at that time. I have a great relationship with my daughter and that is what I care about most. I can work more to make more money, but that time is irreplaceable.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 06:58 PM
3

Sure. So my ex had an attorney at the time of the divorce, and I did not. My daughter had separation anxiety from her mother (even when we all lived together and she just went to work for a few hours). I stupidly signed everything because I was desperate and one clause was that there would be no overnights at this time based on the separation anxiety (she was 6 at the time). The judge put in his ruling that there was not enough change of circumstance in the last 2.5 years since the divorce to ov…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 06:50 PM
1

That really sucks. I'm sorry. Stay strong. You are getting closer to getting your life and happiness back.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 01:35 PM
1

Well I mean the credit card debt did become my problem. And my daughter is incredibly bright and observant, so I truly believe that she will see that I was the one always supporting her, teaching her things, and playing with her every second that I can compared to her mother.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 06:43 AM
1

It's so true. My ex wife claimed that it was my fault that she was a serial cheater. I was very far from the perfect husband, but I did not do the things that she did (gaslighting, manipulating, cheating, verbal/mental abuse, identity theft and credit fraud). But yet it's my fault that she cheated on me from before I even proposed.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 06:40 AM
1

It was a male judge. But also very old (so I assume going by the old school mindset). You know it went badly when my lawyer talked to me for over an hour without billing. He said that he believes courts are just pushing through as quickly as possible from being backed up from COVID. And thank you for the kind words. I feel strong. I feel good and have a good life. My last marriage was horrible and I lost who I was. It was so bad that my mom tearfully thanked my current wife "for giving her her s…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 06:28 AM
1

Maybe. She was very understanding that I wanted to date for a while before discussing marriage. I figured after 2 years of happily dating that I could go for it with marrying her. It's still funny. I wanted to originally be a slut after the divorce (or at least try. I dont think many woman in their 30's find a slightly overweight divorced man with a child as attractive lol) and wasn't looking for anything serious. But than this just happened thankfully.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 06:03 AM
2

Thanks for the reply. I am much better and happier. I feel great minus being poor even though I have a decent job. I did report it as fraud on all 3 credit cards but she was smart. She hacked into my accounts and changed the address to hers. So the CC denied my claims saying that the charges were made "when we lived together" which is not true. I offered them a copy of the divorce so that they could see the dates as well as the bill of sale on the house that we had and my rental agreement for my…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 06:00 AM
1

You have got this. You will have many rough days and only a few good ones initially. But I promise that you will overcome this with time. Reflect on your relationship as a whole. I think that we tend to only remember the good memories once it is final instead of the reality of the relationship. You will probably hurt and overthink for a while but stay strong. This sounds cliche, but find a hobby. Open up to friends. This is the time to put yourself first to rebuild. Do not be afraid to go out wi…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 05:35 AM
1

Me too. My divorce was 3 years ago when I lurked on reddit but didn't have an account. I bottled it all up except for a few close friends. I told my family way later and co workers didn't know until like 6 months later. You need to vent about it. I wouldn't suggest to anyone to do what I did. I made so many stupid mistakes and felt so much worse doing it my way instead of finding a safe space.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 05:30 AM
1

My daughter was a blessing. Divorcing my ex was necessary and I am much happier and healthier now. I am thrilled to be with my current wife and we have dated since pretty soon after the divorce so we have been together just under 3 years. My biggest problem is my ex getting away with everything from identity theft, credit fraud, being a garbage human being and terrible mother all without any reprocussions.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 05:15 AM
1

Perfect advice. If only I was smart enough to realize this 3 years ago when I got divorced. I hope that others with fresher wounds can benefit from your post. And I hope that you are doing okay yourself OP.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 04:33 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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