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ziggyt1 Archive

View 0 posts and 124 comments by ziggyt1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

136 males is not a representative number of all men. Based upon what? Sample sizes in the dozens can be representative, hundreds most certainly can.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 01:19 AM
1

Not sure why you think I'd disagree with any of this. If OP wants to revise their statement to say "men are less likely to be physically harmed by their partner" then we'd be good. None of that follows from "relative lack of danger". Furthermore, danger does not exclusively pertain to physical violence. Women are much more likely to aggress upon partners or exes though relational or social means which can harm reputation, employment, relationships between friends and family, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 03:15 PM
1

Never said they were comparable, I'm just refuting the claim of "relative lack of danger".
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 04:18 AM
1

And the fact you as a man are experiencing violence from men suggests that there is a problem with men committing violence. Which is shifting the goalposts from your original claim of the relative lack of danger. Glad we agree. I know you're not. So have a good day. But when the divorce or the "I'm just not interesting in settling down" comes, remember me. I told you why. Maybe you can tell her about the availability heuristic and change her mind. Heh, try me. My fiance fully acknowledges that I…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 10:31 PM
1

So you're agreeing that you were assaulted by men and did not deserve it and are a man What did you mean by "Men experience violence from other men is their problem in the overwhelming majority of cases" then? Because every single woman I know regardless of culture or socioeconomic status or political affiliation has stories like mine and none of the men do. I'm not really interested in debating your personal anecdotes or vibes concerning expected gender norms. Demonstrate something with evidenc…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 10:11 PM
2

Much higher for women, and there's evidence that women experience more physical harm when victimized.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 06:54 PM
0

Men experience violence from other men is their problem in the overwhelming majority of cases. That sounds a lot like victim blaming. I've had a knife pulled on me, have been sucker punched, almost had my eye gouged out, and have been generally aggressed upon multiple other times through no actions of my own. The reality is that a very small contingent of males are responsible for the vast majority of violent crime. Oh yawn, another stat bro. Let me put it to you like this, stat vulture: no one …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 06:49 PM
-2

Women experience slightly higher rates of intimate partner violence according to this study. I wouldn't consider a 3% difference to be indicative of "relative lack of danger". https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/openaccessgovernment.org-Male-victims-of-intimate-partner-violence-Insights-from-twenty-years-of-research.pdf
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 08:58 PM
0

The relative lack of danger Men are more likely to be the victims of violence than women. The reduced married and family life expectations According to what? The latest statistics show remarkably egalitarian division of labor with men working more total average hours in the majority of scenarios. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/13/in-a-growing-share-of-u-s-marriages-husbands-and-wives-earn-about-the-same/ 1) Husband is the primary breadwinner (31%): The man, on average, works 5…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 08:39 PM
1

Not necessarily. For men, being towards the top of a hierarchy within a given niche leads to high success rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 02:54 PM
5

Socializing awkwardly is still socializing. Being awkward or neurodivergent is particularly harmful to men's dating success with neurotypical partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 09:32 PM
–

Then quantify it. What percentage of men feel that way, and what are you using to draw that inference? What evidence supports your dominance hypothesis? Conversely, we have overwhelming evidence of mental health efficacy from interventions that improve pro-social traits. So please, elaborate and support your argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:35 PM
–

Women face systemic problems: Fix the system, fight patriarchy and oppression. Men face systemic problems: It's the individuals fault, now be a real man and pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:43 AM
–

What EXACTLY would make men feel spoken to and not abandoned? I want explicit specifics! For starters, stop saying shit like this: The issue is a lot of what men want or what would “improve their mental health” comes down to “feeling like a man” which somehow always involves someone else (male or female) being dominated, subjugated, possessed a possession of his, or in a deferential role so the man feels like he’s lording over something (or sexually validated/satisfied)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:31 AM
–

Not sure there's any good data on this, but my sense was the opposite. Men experience greater antagonism from the far left--especially the outsized online contingent--than they do from the larger more quiet base composed of liberals and moderate center-left types.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 06:17 AM
2

What that means is they'll both work 40 hours, but the woman likely does more around the house, will take more time off work to take care of children, and may also need to deal with a man talking about their "sexual needs being neglected". This narrative is common but unsupported by most recent data. The average marriage in most scenarios is remarkably egalitarian when considering total labor hours worked. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/13/in-a-growing-share-of-u-s-marriages-h…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 05:51 PM
2

It's not just movies and shows, it's tiktok, reels, and fake social media stories which all lead to wrong impressions. You'd be hard pressed to find evidence that men and boys are more impacted by this than women and girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:02 AM
3

Heh, yeah. Women and girls would never get the wrong impression about love or romance from popular media.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:08 AM
5

Women being influenced by beauty standards in capitalist media? Oppressive bullshit, fight the patriarchy. Men being influenced by gendered romance stereotypes in capitalist media? That's kind of sad, fam. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps like a real man.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:02 AM
–

If you're going to use internet anecdotes to determine an entire gender's depravity, sure. See below for similar grossness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTITHdJLRrw
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:14 PM
6

That's your definition, which is reasonable. It's unacceptable to push like that. What you're not acknowledging is that innocent behaviors, even when taking no for an answer, are still often treated as disgusting, creepy, harassment, or predatory.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:56 PM
16

How much experience do you have in attempting to attract or date straight women? Part of confidence and assertiveness is being willing to take a chance with imperfect information--which inherently risks encroaching upon or crossing boundaries. You've described perfectly normal escalations that most well-adjusted people will accept or reject with grace. The problem is that many people are not well-adjusted, which is why many of us have experienced strong negative responses to the very innocent be…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 05:36 PM
3

Where does Jesus say that politics or nationality supercedes Christian ethics? You're only reinforcing the view that Christian nationalists primarily use religion as a virtue signal, but prioritize politics over ethics at the drop of a hat.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 08:11 PM
7

That's probably because you struggle distinguishing correlation from causation and have severely flawed epistemic standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 08:50 AM
5

That framing also indicates terrible judgement, as one option is substantially better by almost every metric for the past half century. Less than ideal is not equivalent to terrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 08:12 AM
6

Getting jacked is probably not worth the effort though. Men are more impressed by that than women are. Getting jacked is probably a bit overrated from a physical aesthetics standpoint, but exercising regularly and putting on a moderate amount of muscle is extremely beneficial for average and below average guys. It improves physical health, reduces anxiety, improves overall mental health, and generally improves confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 02:58 AM
4

One can be judged without being ostracized.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:38 PM
2

You're conflating the necessary and sufficient conditions here. Liking feminine hobbies is not sufficient for adoration by most women. The necessary component is attraction, and for most women attraction requires the presence certain masculine traits and behaviors. If a man meets those standards and displays comfort with his femininity or engages in certain feminine-coded behaviors, then those can be a bonus.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:26 PM
11

The issue isn't being judged, it's the disproportionate social ostracization that results from atypical gender performance.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:01 PM
–

There's next to zero appetite for M-L revolutionaries on today's left. The closest you'd get is progressive advocacy for Nordic democratic socialism, but that's just mixed economic capitalism. Even that has tepid support with single digit house members and two senators in their ranks. Contrast that to your assessment of Trump as a typical neocon which is laughably wrong. And judging by what's going on in Minneapolis right now, it's pretty obvious that it's working. It's easy to foment and moneti…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 10:19 PM
–

That's why I said the consequences should have been getting arrested or charged. Speaking of shoulds, she also should have complied with the officers. Fleeing with an officer nearby could reasonably be another charge. All of that is holding her responsible, but shooting her is an unnecessary escalation that goes well above your original framing of FAFO.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 07:07 PM
–

The purpose of progressive outrage is to foment socialist revolution. It all emanates from the shit heap that is the DSA, and their stooges in the WFP. You can rest assured that this is complete bullshit. The source of progressive outrage is typically just the sense of injustice felt by young people. It's a powerful and motivating emotion, which is why a small contingent of loud voices can have such outsized influence. The actual number of leftist revolutionaries is--fortunately--quite low, diso…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 07:01 PM
–

It's kinda hard to charge her with anything when she won't get out of her car and nearly runs over an officer in her attempt to escape. Nonsense, they had her plates and identity. If there was enough evidence she committed a crime, then they could have charged her and issued a warrant even if she drove away. I don't think the ICE agent's life was in danger, but I also don't think Renee Good is completely blameless for putting herself in harm's way. Civil disobedience is a core tenant of American…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 06:39 PM
–

Obama's deporter-in-chief moniker was coined by those same leftists. The majority of those deportations were turn-aways at the border. He did not militarize ICE in US cities or harass US citizens and legal residents.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 05:56 PM
–

I think Renee Good fucked around and found out. This tends to imply justice was served, which is bullshit. She could have reasonably been charged with obstruction or potentially other crimes, but the shooting was inexcusable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 05:54 PM
–

I find this difficult to believe based on personal experience. If a dorky slight effeminate feminist guy is already persuing women, then your selection criteria is biased toward the minority of those guys who are socially skilled and confident enough to do the persuing. The vast majority of such men are awkward, shy, and lack confidence which will turn off the vast majority of potential partners. I'm not slight, but am dorky, very comfortable with my feminine side, and could be called a feminist…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 05:48 PM
–

Attracting women and maintaining relationships require different skill sets and character traits. There's some overlap, but there's also tension between some of those characteristics. Agreeableness and humility are both beneficial for relationship maintenance and longevity, but leading with those traits will usually be interpreted as passivity, weakness, or generally being a pushover--all of which kill attraction for the majority of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 06:38 AM
1

Treating normal relationship labor as a bargaining chip is a surefire way to create a transactional relationship. No well-adjusted partner is going to accept this, so good luck with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 11:28 PM
1

There is no secret formula. Some women don't want to be approached in the same exact situation where another woman really wants you to ask her out. The solution is to read between the lines as best you can, learn social cues to be aware if someone's uncomfortable, and shoot your shot if you feel like it. If they're not into it, accept it and walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 03:42 PM
–

He's thin/fit which is by definition above average. Face and eyes are above average, but not modelesqe.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 05:49 PM
1

Sounds like you're smuggling concepts of ugliness with masculinity and beauty with femininity.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 05:22 PM
1

This advice is completely backwards for ~30% of modern men who are too meek or timid to meet or attract a partner. Such men would be much better helped by developing desirable masculine traits like assertiveness. Your advice can make sense for the portion of men who are too bullheaded or aggressive, but from my experience this is a much smaller minority than the aforementioned group.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 05:11 PM
0

Gotcha, agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 05:50 PM
1

Completely false. Companies, people in positions of power or authority, landlords, etc can be aware of potentially harmful or dangerous situations and fail to remedy them. People are charged for criminal negligence for inaction in those situation every day. There are also cases of morally negligent inaction that doesn't rise to to level of illegality. If you see a child drowning and refuse to help, most people would find that morally objectionable but not illegal. Most ethical worldviews and sys…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 05:27 PM
1

Inaction can be criminally or morally negligent.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 04:24 PM
-1

No, I'm saying attractiveness is not the panacea many make it out to be. If you're very ugly, there's only so much a great masculine personality will do for you. If you have average or above-average looks, then personality will serve you well and can be the primary hurdle to overcome in getting what you want. The same can be said for long-term relationships. Looks will get you more opportunities while personality is more important to maintain them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 02:20 AM
0

that they're ugly As someone who's above-average in looks and height, my meek personality was always my biggest issue in dating. I could attract women that were overweight or below average attraction, and my looks gave me opportunities with more attractive women, but it wasn't until I leaned into my masculinity that I really started having consistent success.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:46 AM
8

This pretty closely mirrors my experience. I'm curious--did you struggle to develop and/or maintain attraction from dates or partners in relationships? Women would say I'm great on paper, and I'd skate by initially on above-average looks and height, but eventually it would be clear there was a behavioral/personality component causing a lack of attraction/desire. In long-term relationships I kept having partners lose attraction leading to dead-bedroom situations. They'd want to keep me around bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 12:14 AM
1

The former example is not particularly assertive, that's fairly typical. The latter example is much more forward and absolutely does work for a lot of women, but it's also more polarizing. The sweet spot is a step back from that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 11:28 PM
5

I haven't noticed much difference across political ideology with respect to assertiveness; it seems to be quite widely preferred by most women. And to be clear, I prefer liberal women. But not every woman is like that, so many women are not assertive because they are simply not that interested. So if you want to be with someone that shows initiative, that's exactly what you'll be vetting for from early stages. Of course not, but few people care to wait around for years for rare edge case unicorn…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 08:43 PM
6

I couldn't disagree more. My experience taught me the exact opposite heuristic. Have you ever dated fem women? Being accommodating or agreeable almost always comes at the cost of being less assertive, and I can't recall a single instance where being less assertive did me any favors. Conversely, being more forward and bold about making plans was often met with excitement and surprise.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 08:07 PM
–

Conversely, every meaningful relationship I've been in was the result of my own deliberate efforts. I've only ever had flings from random encounters.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 05:14 PM
3

Same can be said for instance with what RFK said about the vaccines and autism, and what he said about tylenol. If you watch the actual speeches and listen, he makes a lot of sense. There is what propoganda lies and says happened and then there is what actually happened. With tylenol, they observe a measured jump in autism as tylenol was introduced. So he said limit how much you do take, avoid if possible and be careful with dosage and its easy to take a lot. He gave the most open reasonable com…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 11:25 PM
2

There are some people who think like this, but that's just their avoidant attachment speaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 05:15 PM
2

That's an obvious false dichotomy; erring on the side of boldness doesn't mean being a cocky jerk. I suspect that your default personality is more assertive or bold than you realize, so you never really had to spend much effort navigating the tradeoffs. For many guys with a naturally humble, agreeable, non-confrontational disposition, escalation and assertiveness can feel like you're encroaching on boundaries or even being predatory. Out of concern of women's comfort and safety, I used to wait f…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 06:46 PM
6

But many women prefer kind, thoughtful appearing traits It never did me any favors, even with women who'd outwardly express that exact preference. I was always "such a great guy", but there was obviously a behavioral component that I was missing in terms of developing attraction and desire. Erring on the side of boldness in the dating stages is almost always the best heuristic. I'm sure there are edge cases where humility and agreeableness are most desirable, but how many years of failure are yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 04:11 PM
5

Attraction isn't a binary between attracted/repulsion. For most women, the majority of men will be neutral on the physical attractiveness scale. Charisma and a few other traits (confidence, humor, assertiveness) can make otherwise averagfe guys become attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 03:44 PM
2

You cannot simply get any woman you want because of confidence. The most confident man in the world will get rejected. You cannot make women say yes. You cannot be every woman’s type. More black and white thinking. No one said confidence or charisma will help someone get ANY woman. We've said that it'll help increase overall success compared to the same person without those traits. Stop moving the goalposts.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 01:48 PM
3

Yeah, I'd bet most of these guys are pretty average looking but are looking for something beyond their control to blame for their lack of success. Reality is that most guys can become significantly more attractive by getting fit, putting on a bit of muscle, and styling themselves. Get on GLP1s or whatever you need to lose weight, hit the gym and a build a bit of confidence and most 5s can become 7s.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 01:46 PM
2

There’s nothing wrong about telling you women want to date physically attractive men. No shit, but this is moving the goalposts. The point isn't that women prefer ugly men--that's absurd. It's that nonphysical character traits can also make you more attractive and help average guys have better success or even punch above their weight. Far too many young men are overly attached to the concept that physical attractiveness is everything, but this is mostly a defense mechanism for average looking gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 01:28 PM
1

You can be respectful and bold and confident. Of course, all of that becomes clear with experience. Most people who are struggling have little experience, and that's where relying on advice alone give the wrong impression. As I said below, it's important to note that there is often tension and uncertainty between boldness/assertiveness and respecting other's boundaries. If you're excessively bold you'll come of rude or pushy, while if you err on the side of caution you'll miss opportunities to e…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 04:41 AM
5

You're just completely wrong on this. Frankly I'm surprised that you haven't witnessed it for yourself, but I suppose many people around here don't get out much. Two of my friends in particular are a bit shorter than average with average looks. They struggle on dating apps because of it, but do just fine in person because they're charming, assertive, and fun to be around. I'm above average in attractiveness and have way more likes and options on dating apps, but I'm not nearly as extroverted or …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 04:12 AM
10

I generally agree that you can thread the needle with skill and practice, but it's important to note that there's often tension and uncertainty between being bold and respecting boundaries. Excess in either direction is undesirable, and in my case always erring on the side of respectfulness did me no favors.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 10:54 PM
3

That's just completely incorrect. I personally know several average-looking, short men who initially get ignored by women until they interact and turn on the charisma and charm. These guys really struggle on dating apps but are totally fine in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:31 PM
7

Well obviously--having above average or exceptional traits places you in a minority percentile by definition. The point is that most women are attracted to those nonphysical traits, and such traits can be developed and improved with practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:22 PM
7

Nah, there are tons of average looking guys who punch well above their weight because of their exceptional charisma, humor, confidence, and/or assertiveness. If you're a 1/10 in looks then those character traits might not be enough to punch up, but it absolutely does work for average guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:01 PM
16

Women assume the "if he's attractive to me" is obvious enough that it doesn't even need to be said and for the majority of men that's true, they aren't idiots. The problem is that all of these traits are included in the answers to the question, "What do women want?". There's often no distinction made between traits that make men more attractive compared to traits that are generally desirable but don't increase attraction. I used to find this extremely confusing. I genuinely thought kindness, res…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 08:39 PM
1

ngl you sound kinda deranged about this. I've dated and been close friends with many people who partake on occasion and do so responsibly while maintaining professional jobs and healthy relationships. Most people who abuse substances aren't able to hide it for very long.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:22 AM
1

This perception exists and will persist because we intuitively understand the disparity in effort required. Average men must invest significant amounts of time, money, and effort in self-improvement in order to develop attraction with a handful women. Average women just need to exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 06:03 PM
3

This rate hasn't changed that much. Hasn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 07:34 PM
36

Generally agree, but I'd revise the statement a bit. You should learn to be comfortable being more bold, assertive, and escalating sexual tension, but you should do it respectfully and apologize if you accidentally cross a boundary. Balancing assertiveness and women's comfort was the most confusing thing about dating, attraction, and sexual escalation. My default attitude was always to err on the side of caution and respect, but frankly that approach did me no favors in terms of developing relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 05:41 PM
3

if you're having to approach them then it just means they don't want you. While your general point is spot on, this really isn't accurate. Some people are just a bit more shy, introverted, or hesitant to make an approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 09:10 PM
2

Women in nerd culture (and every other subculture) are still generally attracted to the top men of a given hierarchy. Joining a nerd fandom alone probably hurts an average guys chances. What will help is to teach them how to be genuine and authentic while improving physical attributes and character traits that women desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 05:31 PM
–

I've been on dates with women exactly as I described, and these women are not struggling. Maybe your local culture is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 05:43 AM
1

Which takes much more time than "expressing yourself typically" Not when it's literally throwing on athleisure or a flouncy dress, maybe 5 mins for makeup (or none, as was the case with several of my past gfs) and little else. Both minimalist expressions and more laborious styles are acceptable for women. Any presentation thereof will still yield significant attention or interest if the woman is relatively fit and average or greater in attractiveness. You seem to be stuck on the notion that sign…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 04:56 PM
1

This is completely deranged. DEI in election cycles was mostly cringe pandering to idpol focused voters. Kamala was not going to pass anything remotely authoritarian in this respect. The belligerent nationalism in this case is kind of anti-nationalism, of hating the country and calling for its dissolution and to go to a post-national works, as well as racism being forbidden against every group except the one (and sexism being forbidden against every group against the one). More derangement--Harr…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 08:51 PM
1

I think that's the online lefty/progressive/socialist/communist wing more than your average normie liberal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 07:36 PM
1

That seems completely backwards. In terms of attracting the opposite gender, women are much more free to express themselves atypically. As long as they're not obese and have average or better looks they'll get plenty of attention. Men being part of subculture is broadly limiting for dating prospects unless you're near the top of those hierarchies. I've dated women who'd spend hours on makeup and fashionable outfits, and others who use zero makeup and we're content to toss on athleisure or hippie…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 07:11 PM
–

That's not it. The point is that kindness is neither necessary nor sufficient for at least short-term dating success. Kindness is what's desired after the bar for attraction (i.e. looks and charisma) is already met.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 07:15 PM
5

We're talking typical people doing well and having moderate success in dating. Do you really think that is a fantastical goal?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 05:03 PM
9

How do you get all the way to adulthood thinking that life is like tv shows? Do you even need to ask? Cultural narratives affect literally all of us. A large contingent of people aren't even capable of the introspection or critical thinking required to refute common tropes. There is plenty of media that exists to show how its horrible people who get ahead, but people just ignore that because it isn't what they wanted to believe. Most people don't want to be the bad guy, they want to be good and …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:32 PM
1

If a man isn’t getting much attention from women, it’s not his “personality”, it’s his looks, point blank period. Speaking from experience - it's both. I've been the tall handsome guy that had limited success because I was way too passive and agreeable. If you never make a move, you still get very little success as a man. On rare occasions you might get approached, but if you want success you need a balance of attractive qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:21 PM
18

Multiple generations of men and boys were raised with this concept from media, school, parents, and society at large--it's everywhere. More accurate conceptions of attraction have always been known to more shrewd, charismatic, or narcissistic individuals, but a large contingent of men are socialized to be overly agreeable and passive toward women such that they don't overstep boundaries or make women uncomfortable. For example, look at common media tropes and social cliches. Dopey/uncool charact…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 03:47 PM
1

Leaning into traditional norms has helped in some aspects of life, but being flexible also has its benefits. 1) Yes, leaning into traditional masculine traits helped me immensely in dating and to a lesser degree professionally. My default social demeanor among strangers and women was to be agreeable, positive, passive, and sometimes a bit awkward which never earned me much in terms of attraction or respect. Without my decent looks or sense of humor I would have had zero success, and with those t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 02:41 PM
1

The grass is always greener on the other side. It's fun for a while but gets stale pretty quickly, at least in my experience. Deep connection and partnership is so much more valuable and gratifying in the long run, assuming you're securely attached and capable of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 05:40 PM
2

I imagine if I wasn't so active I'd be pretty heavy It ultimately depends on your physiology. In the absence of exercise, some people's bodies will reduce appetite and increase sensations of satiety such that they still maintain weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 04:42 PM
1

People who need to be managed by a happy, attractive, etc. person are bad workers, period. Most people don't need a positive workplace to be productive. However, there is evidence that positive work environments increase productivity. Morale and the qualities of personnel is a major component of that. You're only considering the scale of the individual. If you're an executive, you're going to be more concerned about the overall efficiency and production of entire departments and the business as …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 09:00 PM
2

You've completely missed the point. Of course people can change things, my point is that there'd need to be a substantial social disruption for most people to willingly do so. Good luck relying on individuals reflecting and deciding to change on their own. A force stronger than social media will need to arise and overwhelm viral reinforcement of the halo effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 05:46 PM
5

I think you need to work on your reading comprehension. I'm sure some forms of pressure comes mostly from men, but many beauty standards are overwhelmingly imposed by other women. When do the lies and delusions end for you? You are likely a man who is seething mad that mysoginy just doesn't set you up the way it did in the past. You are probably angry you can no longer demand servitude and compliance from women the way previous generations of men did. Heh, love the projection. I'm a very happy p…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 02:44 PM
3

Impressive display of mental gymnastics here... I don't give a shit if you find completely innocuous behavior inappropriate. It's a first date, and I don't even know if I like this person yet. I'm not going to restrain myself from bantering with others when I'm not even in my date's presence. yet you place the blame squarely on your Hinge date. Ok. Got it! Ah, so you completely missed the point. I'm blaming the superficial reaction of the waitress and host. I gave my date a chance and proceeded …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 02:37 PM
4

Sounds like an empirical claim. What sort of pressure exactly? I'm sure some forms of pressure comes mostly from men, but many beauty standards are overwhelmingly imposed by other women. Certain makeup styles and cosmetic procedures are disliked by a majority of men but are nevertheless reinforced.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 02:20 PM
1

There's a human element that can't easily be quantified here. I'm sure we can find edge cases of unfair promotions or demotions, but most cases won't be so clear. Likable people tend to be promoted more over more neutral or negative people, even if the latter employees are more productive. From the standpoint of individual merit this is unfair, but organizationally there can be greater overall efficiency in promoting a positive workplace. Like it or not, people enjoy being around attractive, cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 02:09 PM
7

Lookism We can call it out, but then what? Do you really expect that people will change deep subconscious reactions? I just don't see this changing without some kind of massive social change and/or human modification.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 01:55 PM
7

That wasn't it; I mentioned it was a first date from hinge. That's part of what we were bantering about. Let's just not pretend men aren't shallow. That everyone Who said anything to the contrary? My point is that the pressure comes from everyone, not just men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 01:51 PM
2

Would you have preferred to have had a date with the waitress/host that day instead? Of course, I would have chatted a bit longer and asked for her number if I wasn't already on a date. Women can either like you when you are with your SO or they can change their behavior once they see you with your SO and not like you where as they liked you before she arrived. I mentioned I was waiting on a first date from hinge; that's part of what we were bantering about. Her reaction was unquestionably relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 01:46 PM
3

It's entirely case dependent. If they're already attracted and interested, then most women won't even notice or will react positively.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:25 PM
30

And it's not just sexual history. Many men and women also heavily judge a man's value based upon superficial characteristics of who they date. I had an experience related to this last year, and I'll never forget it. I arranged a dinner date on a dating app, arrived a bit early and took a seat outside while waiting for my date. While waiting, I was chatting and flirting a bit with the cute waitress and host and having a fun time with it. My date arrived looking approximately 40lbs heavier and 15 …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:03 PM
1

Agreed, but I also understand the confusion and frustration many guys feel about this issue. Men who struggle with the friend zone (or relationships without mutual desire) are typically those who internalize the wrong lessons about what women actually want, namely that being kind, caring, agreeable, or passive will lead to desire and attraction. Some of these traits are desirable, but none of them are necessary or sufficient for attraction. You feel like you're doing everything right in terms of…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:22 PM
2

You might want to re-read what I wrote, as I never suggested anything of the sort. I did say that the response to men's issues is often met with dismissal or zero-sum thinking in online feminist spaces. Go browse 2xc, twitter spaces, feminist discords for examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 10:52 PM
2

Cool, go tell that to online feminist spaces and see the response you get. I do think the tide will turn on this, as the social problems of leaving young men behind will become impossible to ignore. As you said, men and women succeeding is good for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 10:45 PM
3

Men are socialized to feel generally safe and secure while women are socialized to be hypervigilant of potential abuse. These feelings are not representative of underlying risk while out in public, as men are much more likely to be victims of violence by strangers. The notion that men are safe because they are physically stronger is absurd to anyone that has trained in martial arts. An aggressive attacker almost always has the upper hand because of their aggression and element of surprise, and a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 09:03 PM
7

You'll be fighting against both, but I suspect feminists are more open to persuasion. Look at popular online feminist spaces; there's no shortage of outright dismissal of the problem or zero-sum thinking that men falling behind is necessary for women's empowerment.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 07:47 PM
1

Matching energy is generally a good thing until you figure out each others preferences. The deliberately faking busy and being non-responsive is a heuristic that only really works for men who become overly attached and too agreeable around new women. You absolutely can scare off someone that might otherwise be interested by showing too much interest, texting too much, being too available, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 04:08 PM
1

Waiting a few weeks at minimum makes sense, as it's a decent way to weed out fuckboys and players. I'm open to waiting a bit longer for an exceptional woman who demonstrates strong sexual desire, but only if it's clear that she is delaying gratification to ensure things compatibility, connection, security, safety, etc. One of my relationship needs is strong and durable mutual attraction and desire. I don't like getting attached to someone to only find out we're fundamentally incompatible in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:14 PM
1

"Some" as a quantifier seems a bit obfuscatory here. Most women desire masculine traits in men. Very few women don't assess people based upon gender presentation. Some women are into boyish twinks, but most of these women still want those men to display masculine traits and behaviors in courtship and dating. Few women are doms and prefer sub men. Different countries have different concepts of what gender means and how it works and who “should” have which traits. Sure, but there are strong trends…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 07:32 PM
1

Eh, you're probably a bit too online if you think that. I think a lot of feminist women would acknowledge their preference for masculine traits. The problem is that they want masculinity with high emotional intelligence, kindness, similar values, and more. All of those qualities together are really rare, so they'll settle on someone without masculine traits and then struggle when they find themselves losing attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 06:59 PM
12

Most women across cultures have a strong preference for masculine traits and behavior. At this point I'm pretty sure the tendency is fundamentally biological, but it's expressed with some variation depending on the culture. That's not to say preferences don't get fuzzy around the edges, but from my experience it's a pretty ubiquitous standard. Even the most egalitarian feminist women I know have a strong preference for typically masculine behavior from men in dating and courtship. Some of them r…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 03:59 PM
–

Cool, good luck with that. Maybe you're one of the few people that's about as happy single as you are in an amazing relationship. If so, more power to you. I have my doubts, but mostly because most of such people have attachment issues and/or rarely step outside their comfort zone and don't know what they're missing. As I've grown older, wiser, and had more success in relationships, I've noticed that my standards have raised substantially while my checklist has diminished. The latter stuff is mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:46 PM
–

Of course some situations will be worse for the higher income earner; my point is that most scenarios will be mutually beneficial. Your hypothetical assumes lifestyle inflation and uses figures to to confirm your priors, but it's not a realistic assessment of costs. Most people benefit from sharing expenses. It's much easier and cheaper to buy one slightly larger apartment or house (and often times no extra space is even needed) compared to two separate apartments or mortgages. Further savings a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 07:56 PM
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I'm also quite happy on my own, but I can't deny the evidence of higher life satisfaction when coupled. I think this is especially relevant as you start to experience more of the routine traumas of life--the cruelty of aging or poor health, and the death and suffering of friends and family. So, the crucial thing in this discussion is defining what settling means. For me, it's not compromising on factors that are necessary for happy and health long-term relationship. It's evaluating what really m…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 06:21 PM
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The amount of money a man makes is important. If he makes less money than a woman, then by combining finances, she’s going to lower her quality of life. Completely false. If both of you are working and making anything near or above median wage, you'll both come out ahead by combining finances. There's significant tax benefits in addition to the savings from splitting costs. The only way you fall behind is with lifestyle inflation and living beyond your means.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:54 PM
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How many compromise in hopes of success only to have it be a complete waste of time? A lot, I'm sure. Same thing goes with trust and every other factor in successful relationships. Many things can be abused, but that doesn't mean it's bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:51 PM
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That's true, but flexibility, teamwork, and willingness to compromise is predictive of relationship success. Nobody needs to do anything, but if you want something specific there are necessary components.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:48 PM
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Seems fine if it's working for you. I think the contention is that many people have completely unrealistic "standards" or checklists which don't correlate with long-term relationship success. I used to say I'd never date someone that was religious, for example. Thought it would be an instant compatibility problem, but turns out it really isn't important whatsoever if other factors are met.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:38 PM
4

Men are generally strong enough to defend themselves if it is a life or death situation. This is action movie bullshit. Only a fraction of men are capable of defending themselves against a moderately trained aggressor. Even if you're athletic and relatively strong, an aggressive attacker has a massive upper hand. Even trained individuals perform poorly in violent situations that start with dirty attacks like a sucker punch or worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:31 PM
0

That's not it. I suspect most of these guys have been romantically disappointed with the "let's just be friends" line in the past, so they have a hesitation about that dynamic leading to the friend zone. I had similar struggles when I was young, and once again a few years ago after I got back into dating. This "we should be friends" rejection really just meant I was a kind person with some desirable qualities, but I wasn't sufficiently attractive and/or masculine to create sexual and romantic de…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:06 PM
1

Taking care of your appearance, outfits, fitness and everything else should ideally be done out of love and admiration for yourself and NOT as a way to get approval and validation from others. In my experience, true self esteem is revealed when we are alone by ourselves. Sounds ideal, but many people aren't motivated by that. I've personally been motivated by my own disgust and frustration with the state of my body. It genuinely lead me to a much better place of creating a plan to lose weight, m…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 09:49 PM
1

The other piece of advice, that you will find love when you aren’t looking for it, is also brilliant. It describes the neediness paradox. The more you seek out and need love, the more it will elude you. But the second you give up the search and stop waiting around on someone else to make you happy and start making yourself happy, suddenly people come into your life without any effort. I feel like your assessment of those cliches is somewhat contradictory. It's entirely possible for someone to de…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:52 PM
2

It's not really a double standard as the inputs required for successful promiscuity aren't the same. Men must be either very attractive or actively develop their social skills and confidence to have success with women. They'll need to do nearly all of the work of initiation and facing rejection. Women of below average attractiveness and higher just need to place themselves in social situations in order to get the similar opportunities.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 04:42 PM
1

So you'll wait as part of foreplay, but not to make her feel safe and secure with you? You do you, but that's a bit strange imo. if you're dating for romance I'm not sure where you got the impression this has anything to do with foreplay. I'm open to waiting for exceptional women who clearly experience strong sexual desire, but only if they're delaying gratification to ensure things compatibility, connection, security, safety, etc. In my experience, the women who wanted to wait months were eithe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 06:16 PM
2

Fair enough, if it's working for you and not limiting your options then stick with it. My personal experience with waiting didn't result in better relationships, it just wasted time and opportunities. In most cases the waiting seemed to correlate with lower sexual desire on my partners end, which is an issue of compatability for me. I'd only wait that long again for an exceptional woman who clearly demonstrates strong sexual desire, but abstains from sex early to delay gratification. those can b…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 08:13 AM
5

When I said I ensured my partners were a fit for those standards emotionally by not having sex for the first 2-3 months to make sure they wanted more than just that, his response was essentially, "you're never going to be successful with this strategy, and if you keep trying it, you're going to get what's coming to you." So essentially, If I make men wait I'll get raped and deserve it. That sounds like the most hyperbolic interpretation of "you'll get what's coming to you". I suspect they were s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 06:09 AM
–

For some people it's easy and takes little or no conscious effort. For others the effort required is nearly herculean. Ask yourself; why do some animals with ad libitum access to food eat just enough and stay thin, while others overeat and become fat? The reason in humans is the same, genetic and environmental factors that make them more hungry, less satiated, and/or more likely to develop addictive relationships with food. If you were 50% more hungry and/or 50% less satiated by a meal, do you r…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:37 PM
10

Of course most women want safety and protection, but these feelings are not sufficient to sustain desire or attraction. See Esther Perel on the age-old dilemma. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa0RUmGTCYY
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 03:57 PM
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