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zugabuga Archive

View 0 posts and 42 comments by zugabuga on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

Yes, first nine months after our divorce was finalized, I kept in contact. Had previously found out she was a serial cheater. We were together 26 years. I kept in contact because I thought I needed her in my life. But let me tell you, once I went no contact things got 100% better. That is the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 06:07 PM
2

This is my third Christmas alone now, since divorcing my ex-wife. No kids but I took both dogs that she decided were a burden on her. Family doesn’t live close and doesn’t really do gifts anymore. So third year I won’t be celebrating it in any fashion. It’s funny I work for a company that sells quite a bit of merchandise for Christmas and I deal with calls where customers are screaming at me because the gift they ordered last minute won’t arrive and it ruined their Christmas. I would love to tel…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 04:41 PM
7

I’m almost 3 1/2 years post divorce. I used to have that feeling all the time, now it’s very rare I think about that woman shaped hole in my life. Occasionally, I will still dream about her though, it just happened the other day. I woke up, expecting her to be right next to me and instead it was my dog 🐶 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 01:57 AM
1

Wow, me too. I met my ex-wife at 17 and we divorced at 43.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 01:50 AM
3

I think we all reach that point eventually. I reached that point a little over a year ago. We were together 26 years, having met at 17. The first 15 years of our marriage she contributed very little to our finances. I ran our business. After about 15 years, I was suffering from depression and not making money like I used to so she got a part-time job at Walmart. Eventually, she was promoted to a manager, making all of $18 an hour, and ultimately met a couple loser customers and cheated on me. Th…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 02:29 PM
9

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Like others have said, get a lawyer and file first. I noticed the comment about your birthday, that’s incredibly painful. I caught my ex-wife having multiple affairs, we tried to reconcile for nine months. Then she cheated again on my birthday. That really felt personal, especially after being together 26 years. It’s like another commentor said, they are a drug addict. trying to get their fix. But, I’m three years past all that and doing good. It may seem b…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 06:57 PM
1

Great point! I have no idea sadly.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 07:14 PM
5

I met my ex-wife when we were 17 so while we technically dated, pretty much we were inseparable right away. Fast forward 26 years and I divorce her for being a serial cheater. So in my mid 40s, I enter the dating world with virtually no dating experience. I tried the apps, finally met someone that I seemed to get along well with. We meet in person and date for four months. Over those four months, I start to realize how abusive this person is. I 100 percent would prefer to be with my cheating ex-…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 02:08 PM
5

Sounds like you’re doing good and have a great attitude! After I caught my ex-wife having multiple affairs, I found out she had become friends with a female coworker that cheated on her husband. Whether or not that contributed, I don’t know, but I’m sure she was in my ex-wife‘s ear telling her the single life is great. We had been together 26 years so I am sure being single sounded fun. In the end, I divorced her and took both of our dogs, no kids, I am doing really good.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 09:08 PM
8

Man, that is brutal, I am sorry!
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 07:44 PM
3

I’m very sorry you’re in this situation. It’s terrible. Let me share my story. Three years ago I caught ex-wife having multiple affairs. We were together 26 years. Two weeks after I found out, I texted her a picture of my suicide note and set out to kill myself. The police found me, handcuffed me and took me to the hospital. Being in the psychiatric section of the emergency room was one of the scariest events in my life. I was released and over the next couple months attempted suicide a couple m…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 09:24 PM
27

I’m very sorry you are going through this. A lot of what you said applied to myself as well. She was funny, caring, and nicest person I knew, we had a great relationship and were together 26 years. Then it was like someone else took over her body. From reading on here for the last few years, I have learned the group of friends you’re soon to be ex-wife hangs around with starts filling her head with crazy ideas. It happened with my ex-wife too. Suddenly you are the enemy and holding her back. I d…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 01:48 PM
4

My ex-wife and I also filed ourselves. I was told I will get a copy of the final decree in the mail, but never did. I called a couple months later and they told me they only send it if you request one. Turns out I also had been divorced for several months before I found out it was final.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 09:42 PM
3

Completely agree with you. I lost my business, and then found out about the cheating and divorced all in less than a year. I would be homeless except my brother offered to let me live with him. I actually live in his garage currently, you go from having a nice house and an 18 year marriage to sleeping on a garage floor. It’s currently almost 100° in the Chicago area and inside this garage. It’s even hotter, I’ve learned to sweat all day long. I take a shower and I’m immediately sweating. My pare…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:02 PM
1

I’m very sorry you’re in this position. Two things to read, the book leave a cheater gain a life. It’s on Amazon. Next is The 4 M’s of infidelity, it’s an article that you can find on the Internet. Both will explain how the person you knew could change so quickly. For me, it was my ex-wife that I had been with for 26 years, married 18 years. She turned into a completely different person, I didn’t understand it until I read those two things. She had multiple affairs, became friends with a 19-year…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 04:49 PM
11

I completely understand what you’re saying. I’ve had sex with two people in my life. First was my ex-wife, together 26 years (divorced her as she cheated on me). I’ve been divorced over two years now, last summer I dated someone for about four months. we had sex maybe 10 times, on the one hand it was good to know someone else would find me desirable, but also just weird. Ultimately, I didn’t enjoy it. I believe I am demisexual, you may be as well. It means you need a strong emotional bond to be …
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 04:44 PM
1

I’m very sorry you are dealing with this. All that you need to do is either reach out to her family and let them know or call the police and let them know. Always take Suicide threats serious. If she’s truly suicidal, the police will take her to a hospital and she’ll get the help she needs. If she is doing this to manipulate you, being taken to the hospital will be a wake up call. Being in the hospital for a suicide watch is not a fun experience.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 06:07 PM
4

You’re handling this perfectly. The one thing to remember is you are no longer on the same team. Do you not help her in anyway, listen to your lawyer, and do whatever they advise. I caught my ex-wife having multiple affairs just about three years ago. Completely blindsided me after being together 26 years. A couple weeks after D day, I mentioned wanting to talk to a lawyer about divorce. She flipped out and lost her mind and was mad at me for bringing divorce into the situation. As if I was the …
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 04:29 PM
2

Well let’s keep plugging away and working towards that goal!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 05:53 PM
2

That’s great! Keep it up! I’m doing good. Still trying to rebuild my life and probably need at least another year to get to a decent place. Later this month will be three years since D day, so not terrible since I was blindsided by everything.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 03:38 PM
4

Glad to hear you’re doing better and better. We’ve commented on each other’s posts the last couple years. Sounds like you’re doing really well now, keep it up!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 03:24 PM
23

You pretty much explained how the end of my marriage went exactly. I agree 100%.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 10:37 PM
3

I am so sorry this is happening to you. As to why, I don’t know. I did something similar. The first nine months after our divorce was final I kept in contact with my cheating ex-wife, and somehow thought everything would work out and we could get remarried. Completely delusional but probably because we had been together for 26 years and it was all I knew. Two things that might help. Read the book leave a cheater gain a life. It’s on Amazon. It explains the mind of a cheater. Second, join the Red…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 07:02 PM
1

That’s completely crazy! I’m sorry that happened to you! Some people just don’t deserve us. The funny thing about the girl I mentioned above was she would comment about how she’s willing to split meals 50-50, or take turns paying. And then when it came time to pay, she would keep her hands on the table and never reach for her purse. It was like she was just waiting for me to grab my wallet. Or if we ordered at the counter, she would just stand there and kind of gaze off when the cashier told us …
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 07:52 PM
1

I agree. I am 46 and have had two relationships in my life. 26 years with my ex-wife who ended up cheating on me so I divorced her a couple years ago. And then the person I mentioned above that I dated for four months last year. When I broke it off with her, due to her being abusive towards me, she threatened suicide. So I am definitely fine being single for quite a long time. I kept both dogs when I divorced my ex wife and they give me unconditional love. What’s better than that?
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 07:45 PM
3

My man don’t sweat it. So my history real quick. Was with my ex-wife 26 years, married for almost 19. Divorced her a couple years ago as she was cheating on me. Last year I’m on the apps and meet a girl. Our interests are extremely similar. We meet in person and she drops a comment how other people she’s dated have called her a serial dater and she just wants them to buy her meals. That right there should’ve told me to leave but I did not. We end up dating for four months, she makes well over 10…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 03:27 PM
14

Look, it’s OK. Start today. Small steps at first and before you know it you’ll find your backbone and stand up to this woman. She sounds like complete trash, a month from now you can completely flip the script, but you have to start today.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 05:28 PM
2

We had a very nice house, always had nice things, very neat and clean house. I divorced her and moved out two years ago, still living with my brother, and I sleep on his garage floor. It’s not as bad as it sounds, I turned the garage into a living space with carpet, but it’s still a garage. So my situation is definitely not as nice as it once was, but this is just temporary.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 10:05 PM
2

Acting as bored as possible any time you interact with her. Don’t show any emotion, keep your answers as short as possible, one word would be great.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 06:35 PM
1

I can’t recommend volunteering enough. The feeling you get from helping others to me is incredible. Volunteer at a youth center, a dog shelter, helping senior citizens out, Habitat for Humanity, put others first, be selfless, and things tend to work out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 06:16 PM
1

I personally would not help her with anything. I assume she knows your social due to being married? It’s time to gray rock and 180. Very sorry you’re dealing with this, keep your head down and move forward and better days are ahead!
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 04:12 PM
3

My ex-wife seemed to do the same thing. We were married 18 1/2 years. Looking back probably six months before D-Day she started to change, but I did not notice. I was in a deep depression for several years. She had a newly divorced friend at work who also cheated on her husband, and started to get male attention from some customers. I think some combination of that caused her to change from the person I was with for 26 years. I stopped trying to figure it out. I am almost 3 years post D day and …
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 01:57 PM
3

I deleted every last one of them. I also blocked her everywhere humanly possible. Then the healing started. Hang in there, it’s tough, but you’ll make it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 03:41 PM
1

I have a saying, sometimes you’re thriving, sometimes you’re surviving. This board is a wealth of info on how to do both. You’re halfway through a great success story. On top, lose everything, and get back on top! I’m about halfway through myself, not homeless, but been sleeping on a garage floor for two years at my brothers house. Infinitely better than your situation. I understand, but nowhere near my old life. I have ups and downs, was hospitalized for a suicide attempt and attempted many mor…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 03:39 PM
7

I’ve always been into running and working out, I’m sure you’ve been told to do that. So I stepped that up. But I’ve actually gotten really into leather work, I make wallets and belts and keychains, I have an industrial sewing machine and I find that really relaxes me to work on leather. So I do that pretty much every day even on days I work. I sell them on Etsy, extra money is nice too!
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 04:10 PM
12

Together 26 years, married 18. Found out she was having multiple affairs in 2020. Divorced a year and a half ago. I’ve had one five month long relationship since. Just broke that off a few weeks ago and have decided to stay single. Much better! Having been in such a long relationship I would’ve never thought being single is where it’s at. Got my dogs, I can do whatever I want, which for me is working on my hobbies pretty much anytime I’m not working at my job. I used to get ridiculed for that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 02:47 PM
4

I’m sorry you’re here as well. I’m the same age as you. I felt exactly the way you felt. I recently posted the story of my ex wife’s infidelity so you may want to read what I did to finally move on. Feel free to message me if needed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 05:20 PM
1

Thanks. I guess I’m still hurt due to finding a message where my ex wife told AP2 he was hot. I didn’t know 44-year-old women talked like that to be honest but obviously she was comparing him to me. But thanks for the rest of your advice. I have beet back in the gym for about nine months and I’ve gotten back into good shape. Just don’t know where to meet people at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 02:51 PM
1

Thank you 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 05:03 PM
5

I am becoming more and more content being alone. It’s hard though because I’ve spent 26 out of 44 years being in a relationship with my ex-wife. We met at 17. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 06:54 PM
6

I live in a relatively small town and other than work and going to the gym I don't go many places to meet women (which I know is an issue). So far on dating apps I have talked to many but it always fizzles out. My problem is I have only dated one girl, my ex wife, back in 1994-95 and then we were committed and it was more like spending time with the girl I would marry and not typical dating. We did date stuff but we knew we'd get married. So now I have no idea what to do. Everything is so differ…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 06:14 PM
8

Pretty much same with me. Together 26 years and I obviously loved her more than she loved me. D day for me was finding out she was having multiple affairs and she refused to cut contact with one of the guys, even though to me she was saying all the right things. Eventually she cheated again eight months later, on my birthday, and that was the final straw. First six months of divorce I still want to remarry, I know, but after being in this group for a while I now see her for who she is. She keeps…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 07:14 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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