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[+]chromacruise1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Be calm. And stay calm. Act as if everything you say and do is being recorded. You are being set up by a calculating money grubber and she's pushing your buttons. Do not flinch and do not react.
Absolutely DO NOT leave your house. She can't kick you out because it's your marital home. Don't move out, don't stay at a friend's house. It's your house. Don't leave. It will work out poorly for you if you leave. Do not leave your house.
Don't drink. Get a doctor to prescribe meds if you feel like you need to take the edge off. You're being set up. If and when the cops show up for that domestic disturbance, drunk guy is going to get the cuffs first.
Immediately stop giving her your money. It's yours. Don't give it to her. Just stop. Tell her to get a credit card and you'll pay what applies to the house. She'll probably explode, so keep reading.
Get a lawyer. If you're handing your wife $4k a month now, you can definitely afford to drop $10k for a retainer. You will use all of it and then some.
Get the lawyer to file an immediate injunction to keep her from emptying her personal account. It's a marital asset, but once she empties it, it's gone and nobody's really going to help you get it back. If you have any money anywhere, liquidate it and make it disappear.
Get used to her being your enemy, because she is. You won't win a divorce trying to keep peace. Get on the offensive first. Give that monthly $4k to an attorney to destroy her.
I repeat, do not try to repair your relationship, work together, or 'sort things out'. This is your new life. You have a new nemesis. Shock and awe will work out much better for you. Otherwise she'll slowly bleed you to death.
Judge would tell you how much support you have to pay. No way around that. See if you can get an agreement to pay her a lump sum instead of maintenance (alimony). Sometimes a dependapotamus is stupid enough to take it.
Take your lawyer's advice. Don't do anything stupid.
BUT If I were you, I'd do this:
Check recording laws in your state. If you can, record every interaction with her.
Push her buttons. Give clever retorts to her nagging. Mock her complaints. Or just roll your eyes. Ignore her and act like she's not there. If she so much as touches you, quietly and privately call the police and file an assault report and get out of the house until she's arrested. Don't take no for an answer, cops are hesitant to let men file domestic abuse complaints. You don't want her to get ahead of you and file a complaint first, cops will always arrest men first. But if you've recorded the assault, she's fucked.
Get a restraining order. She'll have to move out. You're the father, kids will stay with you. Get a live-in babysitter.
Get your lawyer to offer to mediate for the both of you. You know, to save money. And for the good of the children. Of course, he will have written up the most devastatingly one-sided separation agreement imaginable.
If all goes well, you get to keep your home, kids and money. Because you'll be supporting the kids too, you will pay much less in support.
[–]dualmonitors23 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]chromacruise3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Kalvash 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]dualmonitors23 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kalvash 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dualmonitors23 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chromacruise2 points [recovered] | Copy Link