I'm gonna lay out a scenario and I'd like real honest answers and I'll read your responses if you do and consider them as I'm a shithead and need better understanding. Let's say that your wife of, oh let's go with nearly 11 years comes home with let's say, 2 brownie mixes and starts making brownies. Even though she clearly goes to bed nearly an hour earlier than this. You get excited right? She's never made you brownies before let alone stay up to do something like that for you? When she's done she says "I'm out of oil for the mix I'll make you and the kids some tomorrow night!" You say "Well who's that for?" She says "Coworkers!" "Oh, the girls?" "Yes!" "Ok!" The next morning it storms on her way to work so you text her as a caring and loving husband would do. "I hope you made it to work alright I know that the highway is no fun in the rain!" An hour and a half goes by and she finally responds "Yes I made it. Sorry I didn't respond back I was busy. It's busy busy!" No big deal you go on and relieved to know all is good. Now let's say you sleep on the couch most of the time because you snore and I mean snore and you don't want to make her lose sleep. Your son's iPad comes on during an update but it's bright enough to awake you the following evening. So you go over to hit settings to get it to accept and go off. You notice though messages. Uh oh man I've sent her some frisky worded texts better make sure that he can't see these. So you notice however you're not the first message in the folder but second. No big deal we all text but it's only a name you've realized has been dropped recently a few times. So you go to look at it. This is where you shouldn't have. 1)Or should you have? You're paying the bills. You notice that she has taken a picture of all of the brownies and sent them to her male coworker the one being mentioned recently. He responds and they chat back and forth with her guaranteeing she'll see to it that they'll all get to him in another town through an acquaintance. 2)What do you do? But what you notice and realize was these texts transpired between two personal phones while you were waiting for a response from her the previous day and that only 5 minutes separate their last one until you get your response. 3) Have you now become 2nd to another man? You go to ask her because well it'll get the blood flowing especially if she ain't touched ya with even a 10 foot stick in 3 months just hypothetical of course. No good night kisses or hugs. Her response is "I was busy but that was work related." See the narrative changes! So you let it go for a minute but the next day ya are still texting and wondering why you're second. Then the story changes to "I was busy, that was work related to there's a new phone policy at work making our personal phones points of contact for all, it just came down in the past few days! He had sent me a doughnut two weeks earlier that had a bite out of it and I was just repaying the favor!" That evening you say what else have I missed? You go to check the messages but they've been deleted. 4) Is it ok to now grow suspicious? Things settle down for a week and a half and you tag her in a pic with a funny caption on FB but she ignored it. Hey we all ignore things, right. But the very next day before you go inside a restaurant, she shows you the almost same identical pic but slightly better from the guy who keeps coming up and she likes it and thinks it's nice. You finally snap and say " I don't want to see that shit! What's really going on?" 6) Are you wrong for saying that this has betrayed your trust lines because she's never made you damn brownies and still didn't? 7) What would've been the correct and proper way to handle it? 8) Could it have been the double doses of testosterone you were being injected for the past few months on accident caused the paranoia or was it paranoi? Just asking for a friend! Besides it'll help me be able to handle this situation should it occur in my life. I know everyone's tired of hearing this crap. But I'm curious! And GO!