~ archived since 2018 ~

Book recommendations?

MadTomOfBedlam81 · 2021-06-12T23:04:35+00:00

Hi, hoping for some positive book recommendations in the vein of self-reflection, assertiveness. My life/relationship has reached a point where I am ready to...

MadTomOfBedlam81

June 12, 2021

3 upvotes

/r/ExRedPill

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Support the archive

Everything here was supposed to disappear. Banned subreddits, deleted communities, cancelled blogs — much of what is archived here survives nowhere else.

It stays free — no paywall, no account — for the next man who comes looking, the way it was free for you.

I pay for the servers, the storage and the bandwidth myself. If you want this record still standing in ten years, become one of the people who keeps it online.

Support the archive

Post Information

Title	Book recommendations?
Author	MadTomOfBedlam81
Upvotes	3
Comments	3
Date	June 12, 2021 11:04 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/nyj3mp/book_recommendations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/book-recommendations.782741 https://theredarchive.com/post/782741

Comments

[–]Toomuch_noise 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The best accessible book I can recommend is called Sybernrtics, it's a bodybuilding book that digs deep into the problems of traumas, relationships, unexpressed emotions with lots of practical advices.

Personally I used, and still use, the books advices especially on building life resources and confidence (economically, in relationships, in love...).

The reason I mentioned this book and not anothrr self help book is that, first, I hate self help books, second, it is built on sound scientific and philosophical ground, it is critical in the sense that it does not take any information for granted but contextualises it and puts it in perspective and finally it was constructed through a transdisciplanary method which is very close to my academic interests.

The book is in english and french, I believe the french version is out of print but you still can find english versions on amazon, you can find in the bibliography of the book hundreds of references to anthropologists, psychologists, biologists... to read and grow through.

I can give you some more bokks in the light of the above one:

The art of love and to have or to be by Erich Fromm.

If you are into meditation read Hara by Karlfried Graf Dürckheim.

Any book by Paul Watzlawick.

Depression and the body and Love and orgasmby Alexander Lowen.

None of the above books is a self help books yet tgey are full of practical applications and they will make a good base to have a critical view of one's life and the leans of making it better.

[–]MadTomOfBedlam81[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Toomuch_noise 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

To my understanding relationships are the very basis of existence, most self help books and modern gurus speak of the warrior myth and of how we should be proud of our scars and bear the burden and be the man and monk mode and all the known warrior fantasy rhetoric. While it is true that we need some stress to grow, the quantity and quality of the stress is important, also we grow in the comfort after the stress has occurred, and being the relational beings that we are, this comfort is of a relational bent. meaning, we need to have a comfortable, loving, warm relationships with our families and significant others so we can rest and grow as humans. If it is a conflict in all areas of life, then where and when do we rest, otherwise we will overuse ourselves and that's where a very specific kind of trauma arises. all in all, having good satisfying relationships is the very basis of life, we are not lone wolfs, we are sons and daughters, friends, parents and loved ones...

finally, life should be mostly pleasure with some injections of hardship here and there, the opposite (what TRP promotes) is as anti-scientific as it gets.

a final thing, Eric Berne once said "if we don't hug you, your spinal cord will wither" if that's not a statement to build a healthy non traumatic relationships, I don't know what else it would mean