Please don't ban me from here or call me a troll, I feel like I really need help, I'm serious too, I am 16 and half-hispanic, with high-functioning autism, you guys might be familiar with me due to my Russia post I made.

I decided to give up my dream to go to Russia and go to Mexico instead and work in the country and meet my aunt Daliana, so I can become closer with my family in Mexico.

I want to become a cybersecurity analyst in Mexico so I can make enough money to live there and for a better life with my family in Mexico, me and my aunt Daliana talk on Facebook, we have only gotten to known each other a little or somewhat.

I'm really sad and upset because I thought by going to Mexico and seeing my family and aunt, I could ignore the posts online from subreddits like FemaleDatingStrategy and TwoXChromosomes that made me an incel for a few weeks.

But it didn't work because I came across a post that said even in Latin America there are people who think that way about men too, and it made me extremely upset and cry again because I knew there was no way to escape it.

I feel like just killing myself at this point or using surgery to make myself a transgender lesbian, I feel like there is no point of living if I can't achieve my dreams and that eating healthier and learning Spanish, mathmatics, and coding isn't worth it.

At this point, I just give up, I can't continue living, I hate that sex exists and the sexualization of things and who knows the fuck what, I feel like just killing myself, anything I do will be accused of being misogynistic or against women.

I feel like I am torturing women by watching porn or any other sexual pleasure, and that I am a subhuman, it's so fucking disgusting living in my body.

Someone please help me understand what to do, I feel like overdosing or becoming transgender and attracted to women, I don't know what to fucking do.