First of all, I'd like to congratulate most men that post here on emancipating themselves from women. The process, as I have learned, is quite hard.

Some background on myself... I'm 22 years old, I'm serving in the Army as a nurse to help kickstart my career in the medical field. I recently have returned from a deployment in Afghanistan where we provided emergency surgical care to wounded soldiers. I would consider myself average, I'm not an 8/10+ but I'm not low spectrum either. I can and do pull females, I have also have had sex (ONS) within the past month. I spend approximately 2 hours at the gym Monday-Friday and on Sundays (occasionally) spend an hour plus there. I have three friends that I spend time with outside of work but only two of them I would say are true friends. I don't socialize often as I am more introverted than extroverted and like my space. I'm fine with this. I discovered MGTOW near the end of my deployment and have subscribed to the forum for over two months now. I am reading The Rational Male and watch many videos from 21st century men on YouTube. I also venture into PUA forums/watch videos from the RSD guys on YouTube.

The problem: I'm in love. I'm in love with a girl who told me two days after our one year anniversary (while I was in Afghanistan) that she wanted to see other people while I was away. It all started February 8, 2017. I met a beautiful girl(22) that we'll call Batgirl for privacy reasons. Batgirl was my first everything. Kiss, sex, love..etc. After nine months of dating batgirl, a week after she had met my parents, she told me that she had been seeing another man for three years prior to me and continues to see him(we'll call him Batcuck) She said she doesn't love him but he pays for everything she does and without him she is financially unstable. Me, being the blue pilled guy I was at the time, gave her an ultimatum. "it's him or me" yada yada. She chose me. I realize now I should have left. Everything was going so well after that. She couldn't stop telling me how in love with me she was, she texted my mom nonstop for fun, talked about our future wedding with my sister, and told me how she couldn't wait to give birth to my children. Fast forward a couple months it's time for me to leave to Afghanistan. Things were going rock steady until Batcuck bought her a brand new car and paid it off completely. See Batcuck is 29 and an engineer at a major oil company. He's fat, but he's got the money! (He also used to physically abuse her but stopped when she started venturing out in the dating world). The six figures he makes mostly goes to her. Shortly after her MacBook Air (bought by him) got a virus because she fell for a dumb phishing pop up ad. I was furious because I had always told her to be careful of what she does, they aren't invincible. She didn't like that and called him up to come over to her place so that he could fix it. So he does. She tells me nothing happened (who knows) but she really had the urge to kiss him. Being 9000 miles away I'm struggling hard with this because Batcuck is doing everything within his financial power to win her back over. So, me being the smart guy I am, I break up with her. Well, now it's all my fault. All of it's my fault because I didn't give her the boundaries she needed and I didn't provide enough emotional support to her while she was going through the "trauma" of losing someone she had "held close" to for three years. This all happened 1 month into my deployment. I had 8 months remaining. I had suicidal tendencies but I never wanted to do it myself. I saw little to nothing in myself regardless of how many lives I helped save and how many people I saw go from almost dead to awake and talking to me, thanking me. To help counteract this negativity I started the gym religiously but it wasn't enough to keep the thoughts away at night and I would constantly contact her asking to her to take me back. She was such a bitter person to me at this time and would degrade/belittle me yet I loved her. I still do. Fast forward I come back, I see her again, and she tells me how she thought it'd be so much different upon my return and how she believes we could work again. We have a tiny honeymoon phase where we kiss a ton and sleep in the same bed but nothing more. I leave and find out when I left Batcuck swept in and stayed the next night but only after I stay the night again. (She swears she loves him to at this point but I know it's only for the money still). Furious that she would do that to me I blow up on her and tell her maybe I should just start buying her love and she gets offended and stops talking to me. I actually sent her $1 on Apple pay and asked if I could call her now (it was pretty funny if I say so myself). Two weeks go by and she finally starts talking to me. At this point I decide it's too hard going through this cycle over and over so I block her number and try to move on. I unblocked her number. I talked to her. I keep falling into her trap. I keep giving in and communicating with her. I've fucked other girls after her but it's not the same. I don't feel anything. I love her and only want her BUT ultimately I just want to love myself. I want to leave her emotionally as I have physically. She wasn't even that great in bed but it was the emotional connection we shared. If there is any advice any of y'all could give to me I would greatly appreciate it. I've been following this forum for a while and I see the achievements y'all have made. I understand that struggle is needed in order for progress to be made. I understand I am still young and naive to many things the world has, but I am forever growing and seeking knowledge.

TL;DR I love my ex, I can't stop thinking about her/wanting to communicate even after she admitted to cheating on another guy with me(9 months into our relationship), and then running back to him when I was deployed. I need advice on how to avoid temptation please and thank you.