So I am 40 years old - in good shape, make fairly good money. Got married 6 years ago - partly due to parental pressure, partly due to societal conditioning that I need to be married, partly due to being a beta and partly due to all my friends being married.

Fast forward 6 years, I was the provider, settled my wife and her family form a different country to the US, spent close 100K on traveling all over the world and all over this country , expensive trips, shopping, restaurants and all that stuff and what I got in return was the classic - I don't love you anymore. Wife wants to divorce (process is underway) and initially said did not want any money but now wants Alimony and more. No kids and no house so at least that was a good thing.

Looking back I think I was a Chod - I know I made mistakes by fighting with her over silly things but nothing was so major that couldn't be resolved (no physical abuse from my side - she actually hit me a few times and blamed me for making her do it).

She left me 6 months back and ever since then I have slowly but surely started gaining my footing and realized that life can be great if you think positive, keep fit, become social and generally don't give a fuck about what other people think.

It's still little bit lonely due to the kind of abuse I went through in the last few months but I am getting out of it slowly and surely. Many times to I have reached out to her to try to reconcile but that too is my chod behavior because I am scared to live alone or not finding anyone etc.

Any words of encouragement from people who have gone through this and came out positively would be great. Not sure if I am MGTOW yet - but having been exposed to this - I would subscribe to some of the thoughts. I still like women and would like to have relationships with girls but never marriage or other commitments.