the day your child is born..

electrified you are, your life perfectly changes..

selfless love.. you would, unconditionally, do anything, for your child.. ..and truly understand this, for the first time..

over time, you slowly begin to see this childs personality, sentient.. showing you love and affection..

you spend time with your child.. watching them learn how to see things, read, the magical moment, the light come on and they get it.. proudly looking at you..

going to places, offered experiences, story telling.. hearing their first word/sentence, seeing those first hobbled steps..

scraped knee, fear, this mechanical world.. is none to you.. the hero, you are, and feel..

..and they to you..

the hugs.. you have never been hugged, until your child hugs you..

you work, survive and live, so you can return home and hang out, with your 4 year old, ice cream, time for their show..

bright, caring, loving.. the most satisfying thing, within your life..

play games, teach logic, reason, abstract understandings..

a sponge they are..

as time moves, your heart only grows bigger.. bursting for them..

first day of school, friends, playful.. learning..

troubles brews, in the far distant..

6 years old, full of energy and genuine.. proud you are.. your time now, is of exploring, intrigue and traverse.

a favorite movie, story, place, time, thing.. you know them all, and are at the ready..

just turned 8..

brewed trouble spills over..

child becomes confused, scared.. you comfort them, abject love from within.. your child loves you back..

..this is the last time you ever saw them..

they are, just... gone

no death, no burial, no closure.. they live, without you..

you understand now, they learned to hate you.. wanting nothing more of you..

nothing you can do, nor say..

your time with them, has passed..

you feel you heart no longer..

a father..