I like this dude, but he insists on trying to take care of me.

2 points•8 comments•submitted by limonium2 to r/relationship_advice

I’ve been dating this dude on and off for a while, but we’ve been dating steady for about a month. There’s been some issues, but they’ve been mostly resolved.

All except his incessant need to take care of me.

I’m an adult, 20 year old woman, and, I appreciate the odd opening of doors or buying of meals. But, when I’m dating someone, I like to be able to return the favour, and I like not being treated as a child when it happens.

He insists on giving me his jacket, even when I repeatedly tell him that I do not, in fact, want his jacket, to the point where it becomes extremely annoying.

He’s constantly bugging me, telling me to go to bed earlier, to take less risks in my job, or to be careful in my every day life (even though I’m a wilderness first aider and have survived this long in my life, he keeps going on about something happening to me when he’s not there.)

I keep telling him that his behaviour is over the top, and even condescending at times, but he doesn’t understand, and keeps at it.

I even tried treating him in the same way, and he became frustrated with me. When I pointed out that I was emulating his behaviour, he made it clear, that in a relationship, it is his place to do the care, and not mine.

The crazy thing is, he tells me all the time how he loves having such a badass girlfriend, how he loves my spunk, and talks all about how much he supports and loves my activism and my feminist ways.

It’s like, he understands that I’m able to take care of myself, but, wants to do it for me.

I really like him other than this, and, honestly, some people probably would die to have a boyfriend like him, but I’m so exhausted, I’m ready to give up on the relationship.

I’m just wondering if there’s any advice you guys have? Any paths I should pursue? Is this relationship doomed, or should I try talking with him about it again?