With 20 i got lyme disease, studying was hard and i failed but then again i didn't like it at all. I failed because of the treatments for lyme disease, which were in fact really toxic (chemo is the same if you think toxic). Everyone i knew with this disease didn't finish studying at all.

I was focussing on my health and paused studying, slowly it all began. My family saw me like a "burden on their money" because allopathic medicine couldn't help anymore. The whole atmosphere was that they didn't understand anything about this illness, didn't want to understand, refusing any information. The worst thing was at a conference where they acted like they SUPPORT AND LOVE ME for the first time. They just wanted to be welcomed but they are hipocrites to the maximum.

That alone has killed many many people that i have known. Im not kidding most of them are dead. They either died from the disease (i survived this thank god) or from the circumstances (going broke, family unsupportive -> suicide)

I won't lie with this much negative pressure, void and ignorance it really takes a toll on your mind and sould and sometimes you just wanna kill yourself. I would not do this but i sometimes feel like it from all this shit and because i have no one except myself to support me.

They commited suicide because no one would understand their illness or they didn't get anymore support because they looked "crazy" - i have brain scans showing im not crazy. I found cheaper treatments, they didn't cure me, were hard but some of them helped over time. Here i could only rely on myself.

I'm not an idiot, im not a wussy, i just try to cope with the situation. I'm really sick from head to bottom. Doctors all confirmed this. You see normal people believe you but i'm already seeing how i'm making "sure" everyone understands because you see where i'm coming from.

So here is the problem:

Basically the disease makes me really tired, is chronic and also caused damage in other systems of the body. My liver is damaged, so no wonder i don't tolerate any chemicals at all. It's an illness that is hard to understand and hard to cure. Opting out of this is hard. I got myself to a level of maybe 50-60% when im in the right enviroment. If i'm in a place where i react badly i go down to 0-5% in a couple hours.

I have huge problems with allergies to enviroments from this disease (there is also a Dr.House episode about this) and my family has been nothing but ignorant, straight toxic to me because of this. It totally damaged my whole relationship to them, the number of times where they reacted abusive, ignorant is uncountable at this point. I often wished they would be dead im not lying, because of the horrible insulting they did in my weakest state. That's also why im a MGTOW my girlfriends would be the same kind of people, whenever you do something with disease you are "okay and could work fulltime" - fuck these people.

They all say that i don't take responseability, blablabla, which is a complete joke. I'm broke as fuck from this disease - straight broke 100%, all i get is welfare and welfare money. I earn some extra income through my stream but that's not a lot, although at times it has been.

I never could apply for a job, anything like that, all i have is my Stream which is running fine for the time im doing this (1 year) and is about the only thing that i can do right now. If i apply for any job and the enviroment is bad for me, im fucked.

I tried many buildings, rooms etc. and most of them were bad for me. After a lot of hit and miss i had to move back to the parents house, first they were supporting me and i was just doing my thing. Slowly things turned to hell. I wasn't living at home for 12 years, i moved out with 18. There was no other option left.

Now the crazy mum wants to sell the house because she is a narcissist and believes a new home will help her life. It does not make sense, she moves a few blocks further and made 100% sure that there isn't any room for me. She knows 100% how bad this disease is, the times i slept in bathrooms on the floor or outside in the tent should have been enough.

The house is kind of okay for me, its not perfect but i can make it work. I made huge progress with my streaming here, because i worked whenever i felt okay. My community loves me and the content i provide. Now she wants to sell the house and wants me "out of the house" at the end of the month. Wow. I told them that i have looked all the time since im here and couldn't find suitable housing for me, also the price range is a problem with the welfare it has to be quite low. This combination of things makes it hard to find a suitable room. They make me look like im the idiot and don't think any further. They dont even care if this damages my streaming career, which is a slow but steady progress.

The whole toxic behaviour of my family, especially my mother, has damaged me because what the fuck are you supposed to do when you have this shit? Money is the answer but i don't have any money and i can't just work a normal job. So i made the best out of the situation. Even people that aren't sick have problems to find something to rent, they ignore this and say it's all my fault. Never ever have they walked in my shoes for one day.

She wants to put me on the street and i swear to god if she does this i expose her somewhere in the media, make that video viral and if that's the last thing im doing. It's so fucking terrible how people treat you just because you are sick and that is certainly NOT YOUR CHOICE. Shes a crazy narcissist and never cared too much, all she cares about is herself, my father was always too weak to help me in any way. She wants the house sold and me out, she does NOT care about the consequences. Cuck father repeats her words.

If i never got sick i would have never dealt with this bullshit in the first place. But i didn't want to sleep on the street one year ago so i accepted to live here.

I seriously don't know what to do.