Belongs nowhere else

Honestly it does get better. My suggestions for healing? Therapy, talking to as many people as possible and getting feedback and learning what went wrong and the warning signs you missed, as well as simply taking them off that pedestal.

Mate, 7 weeks ago I was crushed, I wasn’t leaving bed, I wasn’t eating, I wasn’t taking pictures or making YouTube videos, I didn’t apply to or finish any of my grad school applications/fix up my CV, etc. I made well over 200 posts on here about it. Do I regret it? Fuck no, I’m a grown man and not afraid to say I loved a woman and was hurt. That’s the manliest thing you can do(loving a woman).

My life was over as far as I was concerned. I’d lost the girl who I planned to marry and be with forever. The girl who I was going to have kids with, who got a tattoo about me, who was at my university graduation, a moment that’ll forever be in my mind. I contemplated suicide and called the national suicide hotline one night when I was on the verge. So I’ve literally been at rock bottom. 7 weeks later, with the help of my therapist, several breakup coaching calls, prayer and just time and patience, I’m feeling completely different.

Not only do I no longer find myself consumed by thoughts of her and examining her toxic behaviour and going over the things she said and did/ I genuinely find myself caring less and less everyday. Who gives a fuck what she’s doing, she lost me, not the other way around. I gave her everything I possibly could and was down for her through everything. Including being cheated on. To everyone out there going through heartbreak, look yourself in the mirror and realise that you are worthy of being loved and being happy, just because someone didn’t value that, doesn’t mean you aren’t. That’s their loss, they lost genuine love, you lost someone who didn’t give a fuck at the end of the day, addition by subtraction.