I’ve been lurking for about a year or so.

I’ve essentially been monk mode for almost 9 years after my first and only “relationship” ended at the age of 23 and never looked back, partially due to mental illness afterward (badly timed onset schizophrenia sometime after the ex pulled a weird bait and switch prank one day involving seeing her again) needing to be hospitalized 3 different times in 2 years. Since then I’ve mostly stabilized. But I haven’t held down a job, didn’t finish school and my personal finances remain poor. I walk a tightrope legally of waiting on disability while seeking one day volunteer gigs in the area.

I guess you can say I was partially isolated even before that girlfriend and the brief nightmare that was, and, even if I won the lottery and was enabled that way, I don’t think I’d go back to putting up with that nonsense. From around 2011 onwards I spent hours googling, looking for snippets of what was essentially MGTOW material as an answer. The answer, less paranoia/uncertainty as time went on.

Probably missing some important information regardless, I question if others would see me as still some kind of incel, given everything here, plus being semi-socially awkward and “inexperienced”, or if in fact my one experience was arguably enough to go my own way. I’m quite used to the notion of going it alone at this point. Perhaps one could make the argument for chemical castration but, it still works..

Could be a mistake to post this. Will delete if it is.