I'd like to preface by stating that I'm 22,which from what I gather around the community is on the younger end of the spectrum, so some of this may seen inane kids stuff.

Im not quite sure how to describe it, but I feel robbed. When I was younger I had this idea in my head that I'd grow up, get married, buy a house and have kids, I dreamed about what I'd teach my sons, camping trips, the woman I'd spend my life with, it all seemed like so beautiful a vision of the future.

Then I got accused of rape.

I'd prefer not to go into the specifics, it makes me angry beyond words, but it taught me everything I know about the world today. It was like a veil being ripped off my eyes, I saw all the danger and harm that was out there, all the ways a single word could destroy me, socially, financially, spiritually, I developed a drug addiction and spent 5 years surrounded by the lowest scum and detritus. It was only my sister who saved me (NAWALT, and you can fucking fight me on that) and I spent the last year building myself back up.

But I look around and all I see is how the world can fuck with me, I see online, even in places I go to avoid it, how society fucks with men, how our every contribution is ridiculed, how we can be pulled down into the dirt, and it makes me shy away.

I want kids, but I'll never have them, why on earth would I even want to take the slightest risk such a responsibility entails. I'd love to be a father, but simple mathematics doesn't lie, it's a losing game and I'd be a fool to play. It feel like all these things have been stolen from me, like my dreams were torn away and broken apart for no cause other than what was between my legs when I was born.