Just get a pet.

A pet has all that a woman doesn't:

-It's loyal -It listens to your commands -It can't cheat on you -You don't feel lonely -Helps people with disorders/depression -It's lovely -Pet is healthier than a LTR lol (e.g. the pet dies at 13 years, your relationship or marriage could never come this far these days) -Enjoys it to be touched -Is never in a bad mood -Some pets may be useful -You spent more time outside if you got for example a dog -Your pet is always there for you

Get one. I can tell you from my experience (my parents had 11 pets) that it is really worth it, but don't get too much!