Not sure if it’s just the transitory period I’m going through (I’m moving to a far away state) or if it’s all the madness in the world these days, but I’m really, really wanting to connect with a woman romantically lately. Like, I’m just sitting here late at night, watching whatever happens to come up on YouTube, and constantly thinking about how nice it’s be to have a nice girl here on the couch with me.

A few MGTOW brothers have been teaching me the ways of the Force by teaching me about escorts (how to approach them and whatnot, not as straightforward as I thought) and being a sugar daddy type. The latter is not something I can do right now, but I could see it being a viable lifestyle in a few years. I thought that seeing escorts (I’ve seen one recently) would be enough, and she was great to be honest but for some reason I’m really wanting to have a nice girl here with me right about now.

Like I said I’m not really sure why all of the sudden, although I have a couple of theories like I said above. What’s more is that just today I had a chat with a married friend of mine, and he once again made subtle mention that he’s not all that crazy about being married even though his wife is lovely to look at if nothing else. I dunno, it’s just weird.

Not really sure what I’m fishing for here; I know a lot of brothers here have gone through the hell that is marriage for a man, and even more have gone through relationships where the chick betrays them the second any weakness is shown or a different, not necessarily even “better,” option comes along. I’m pretty inexperienced when it comes to relationships, only having had two with the last one ending seven damn years ago.maybe that’s one reason? Maybe I need to just get it out of my system and go back out and date?

For the past few years I’ve struggled with some personal issues (alcoholism, family issues) so I’ve stayed away from dating of any sort. Not that I was any kind of player or whatever before, but even when a woman would show interest I’d keep them away so they wouldn’t get tangled up in my shit. Maybe I should break that, since I’ve gotten my life back under control? But then what if I catch some real feelings? I am thoroughly, absolutely convinced and aware of the terrible deal that marriage is in the West for men, but maybe my little head won’t know any different? Or would it be my heart that I really need to worry about? Both? Hard to say as a man in my early thirties I guess.

As a fairly long time commenter on this sub, I thought I had seen and heard enough to be able to guard my heart against this, but good god I’m actually hurting pretty badly right now. Sorry to bother you guys with this rambly, aimless post, just figured it might help me to put my thoughts in writing. Thanks for your time and have a great day/night/what have you.