First real post time boys.

My entire life, i was extremely blue pilled. To the level where my only ambition was having a wife and kids. Super wholesome american dream bullshit ya know? I'm not saying this isn't a bad thing to desire in and of itself, but i built my entire existence around this idea. I've never really had a problem attracting women; So the constant physical / emotional validation from girls further amplified this ignorance of mine.

Eventually something didn't sit right with me, I've had easy pussy my entire life and yet i feel so empty. I began to feel that any type of intelligence or redeemable trait i may have is nothing more than a bonus to a woman. The women who respected me the most are the ones i treat the worst. This trend kept showing its ugly head over and over which drove me insane with curiosity.

I became increasingly angry that society taught me to be one way, but obviously rewarded you for being the opposite. I've never once been rewarded by a women for being sensitive or generous. I have however been rewarded with absolute pornstar level sex, kindness, and loyalty for acting like a god damn psychopath. ( I purposely adjusted my behavior to test women's reactions to dark triad traits, i just didn't have the proper terms to describe what i was doing when i did. )

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I've been through more women than most men can probably ever imagine and let me fucking tell you. It does nothing. It is nothing more than a clusterfuck of funny stories after its all said and done. It does nothing for your soul. I feel empty.

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So the last few months i binged a shit load of psychology related information. I became utterly obsessed with the void of knowledge in this realm i knew i was missing or more importantly, the proper explanation for what i'm witnessing. Eventually coming across redpill then mgtow.

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A lot of the things i learned, i had already knew but didn't have exact terminology to use. It was a hunch, but i could never quite conclusively decide if it was just me being prejudiced towards women or if there really was some fuck ass bullshit going on.

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An entire world of knowledge i was ignorant to before, has shown itself. I can never go back to seeing women the same ever again. All the things i debated / doubted before have been made disgustingly apparent.

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What technological advancement mixed with ill prepared human impulsiveness has done to the average women is disgusting. Its essentially allowed ALL women to focus in on that top 20% of men with extreme prejudice.

(I'm making the assumption i'm in the top 20% based on women's reaction to my presence in comparison to most the men i know personally)

^^^Despite that fact, I feel completely fucked still. I don't even feel like i can keep a female companion because of common law etc and that's not even talking about any other legal risks.

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So here i am. Hopeful but feeling completely purposeless.

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I've been binge trying new hobbies, but alas i feel nothing. Honestly my brother and this community is the only thing that really keeps me here. I do go to the gym, eat healthy, etc. I just need something i can give everything to. Something to fill the void that society tricked me into creating.

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TL;DR: Blue pilled tradcon chad realizes pussy is actually monopoly money and suffers mental fatigue. Help.

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