I was thinking the other night about all the female school teachers I had growing up. Most had just enough formal education to copy text from a book onto a black board. Other were newly qualified airheads who seemed to enjoy berating young men. All of them were borderline psychotic to varying degrees.

One afternoon my class were playing touch rugby on the playing fields. We were sat on the grass talking about the rules. It was a mixed class, boys and girls. The teacher was female. Not a dyke but pretty manly. One of my male class mates was making the case that boys and girls can't really play physical sports together because females lack the size and strength of males and the game would not flow the same if people were inhibited by the fear of hurting someone weaker. The teacher quickly decided that this was an blatantly sexist comment and without further discussion on the merits of his remark hurled a rugby ball with some force at him.

The ball flew a few yards wide of its intended target and hit me square in the face, point first, breaking my nose and i was sent to the school matron covered in blood.

Twenty years later I still have a bent nose. Its still fucking hilarious though..