I won’t date women who have been the victim of multiple instances of Domestic Violence/Abuse or that have been Raped 3+ times.

176 points•170 comments•submitted by [deleted] to r/unpopularopinion

Hear me out...

If a guy had a habit of getting beat up in bars would you assume he was just a victim of circumstances or perhaps a bit of a trouble maker?

In my experience of dating many women almost all those who had previously been victims of multiple Domestic Violence or abuse were themselves fairly violent.

When we hear of DV we always imagine a husband who comes home and abuses the wife over the chicken being too cold for dinner, but in reality this is rarely the case. Most abuse is reciprocal*, and although anyone can find themselves in an abusive situation through no fault of their own, the moment it becomes a pattern, in my experience, it’s not a “always the guys fault” kind of situation.

Same goes for rape. As terrible as it may sound I’ve known many women who’ve been raped over 3-4 times, and in every single case they were engaging in high risk activities, and abusing drugs and/or alcohol, but no one dared tell them anything but “it’s not your fault” and “don’t victim blame.”

Be careful out there, and judge people based on what they do, and how they behave, not just on what they say.