One of the best moves I made as I started to seriously recover from the aftermath of my divorce (which went on for years) was to hire a trainer. I highly recommend it, and the older you are, the more this is true.

I was sitting at a bar, already having gotten high, and now starting in on beer #3. The guy on the other side of the bar (this was a charity event, so he wasn't a professional bartender) looked at me and said "You are sort of a mess. You're clearly overweight, you're heading towards being diabetic, and you need to get yourself a trainer before you turn into a real, permanent mess." Around about then, I also remember reading that Tony Robbins hired a trainer even before he had the money to afford it, and thank God, I was smart enough to do the same thing. It was the single best move I've made (besides hiring a tax attorney) when it comes to the MGTOW journey.

Whatever it is you want to do, whether it's professional or recreational, it all starts with your body. You have to be able to move. The quality of your thinking is directly based on the fitness of your body -- I don't know about you, but I don't think too well when I'm tired. And the other thing is that you almost certainly have potential physically you don't even suspect. A trainer's job is to help you bring that out. Imagine how your life would be different, your interactions with people, everything, if you were physically in the best shape of your life. Twenty pounds lighter. 50% stronger. And so on. A trainer is there to help you make that happen.

And a good trainer becomes sort of a 24/7 coach and friend. I have gone mountain biking with mine (which was one bitch of a workout) and rowing. He has taught me an enormous amount about everything having to do with fitness -- supplements, sleep, diet, motivation, all of it.

Working with a trainer also introduces you to a whole world -- fitness -- that's very male. I lift three days a week now with guys who are cops, ex-military (a lot of these), ex-gangbangers (some of the best guys you'll ever meet) and so on. One of them was the former head of a Hells Angels chapter -- great guy, too. For example, I was talking to one of these guys yesterday, about doing squats, and I said something like "When it gets really hard, I think about people I hate" and he laughed and said "Yeah -- hate squats." There is absolutely zero feminist bullshit, and the women who do spend time in the gym tend to be very fit, very hot and perfectly reasonable human beings. If someone's doing squats in a halter top and booty shorts, she's delighted to have you look at her, and she's also there to work, not play mind games.

I travel a fair amount of business, and sometimes I see these guys my age in a airport, following their wives around like some kind of pack mule, and with a couple of badly-behaved children. They're getting fat. They're growing man-boobs. They have no stamina or energy or self-respect at all -- it's been beaten out of them. Hard training is an antidote to that.

And the key is "hard". You have to work up to it, but you want someone who will push you, or rather, help you push yourself. Physically, you are capable of incredible stuff, but you need to have made it a priority, and have someone around to guide you, and to whom you have to answer. You could do it on your own, but with someone who you're paying to coach you involved, it becomes a lot more intense, and effective, and ultimately fun.

And SPEND THE FUCKING MONEY. What is more important? A new car? A vacation? Yes, it's a major investment, but it's a a big statement that you take yourself seriously, and you want to prevail. It's a commitment, and a major step forward. When I started working with Kevin, I told him that I had to make up for a lot of professional water-treading fast, and I wanted to get to the place where I could physically do whatever I felt like -- go skiing, go for a long run, play soccer -- and I also wanted to be able to walk into a meeting and dominate, if I wanted to. I'm 6'2", and weigh well over 200 lbs, so if I was in seriously good shape (and I'm in my fifties) that was a possibility. I'd guess I'm 60% of the way there. If I can do this, so can you.

But you need a professional to help. Find a good trainer, spend the money, do the work. It pays incredible dividends.