I went out on a date the other night.

Less than an hour in, she's already starting with the #metoo nonsense, most of it illogical drivel. Followed by her telling me to vote. The conversation went like this:

Her: You need to vote

Me: well, I'm new to the area so I don't really know any of the candidates or what their positions are...

Her: Well, just vote for the Democrats. We need more Democrats. It's becoming hell out there (whatever that means) and there are too many racists.

Me: Um...what exactly do you mean by racists?

Her: it's hard to explain. People are just racist, but they don't know they're racist because society made them racist

Me: well, it's easy to call someone a racist when you can't even define what racist means.

Her: well there's too many of them, so we need more Democrats

Her, literally 2 hours later: I sure hate all these Chinese moving into the area! They're so loud and disgusting!

I wish I were making this up. This is all that's out there, fellas. This will be your experience, as well.

Don't be like me. Save your money and just rub one out. The juice sure as hell ain't worth the squeeze.