At the lowest of my lows, I was almost sectioned. Twice. But each time the psychiatric nurses came to assess me, I gave them the lowdown on the drugs they wanted to administer to me, and the plethora of non-reversible side effects that came with them, such as tardive dyskenisia, ataxia, excessive drooling, numbing of emotion etc.

They decided I didn't need anti-psychotic medication, and left with their tails between their legs. I struggled on, gradually cutting out the crap that kept relegating me to the almost Lovecraftian realms of madness.

Eventually, I had a spontaneous mystical experience in which I encountered a white light which engulfed my entire being and projected its love and forgiveness upon me. I cried for 3 days, and I still well up when I think about it now, 6 years later. To me, that was God speaking to me. That's the only thing I cling to in this realm of transience. I was never very spiritual until that night, despite having done a load of psychedelics and whatnot for years.

In essence, what I'm saying is keep going! Don't let this world harden your heart completely. Personally, I'm off limits as far as romantic relationships go. I'm a dog who was kicked one too many times. But it's better for you to rise above those who seek to demoralise you.