O.k. So, I'm in my mid forties. I've banged hundreds of women in my life. Most have been between a 4 and an 8. Only a handful of 9 or 10.

I see the destruction of men's lives all around me. I want to divorce myself from women, but there is this feeling inside me that tells me I'm not living life unless on banging good looking pussy.

I'm always horny and getting a new girl's number into my phone. Also, I'm not always safe with sex. Let's just say the pull out method has been working for me for ages.

I know what love is, but I've let it slip through my fingers while growing up. It gets harder now to find that, and it's so much work.

What led me to post here is yesterday I met a girl and we made plans today. She said she'll be in my are by 11:30am. We texted earlier a little bit, but when 11:40 came around, I texted her what the plan was. I didn't hear back from her until 12:30pm, when she says she is finishing laundry and will be free after that.

Like what the fuck? Do these people think we will just sit around, nothing better to do? If I pulled that on a chick, she would have made other plans by then.

There were a few weeks of stress I had where I wasn't horny one bit. It felt weird. I felt like I wasn't a man. I felt like I wasn't living life.

Is this biology I'm fighting? You all talk like it's no problem. I can't see myself not banging chicks, but I wish I could feel fulfilled and not like I'm missing out on life by not.

I have no kids, and will never get married.

Am I a fucking mess?

Edit: Fixed a word

Edit 2: Hah, she just texted me again at 2:23pm and said: "I'm almost done". Hah, really? I put something off earlier thinking this was going to happen. Stupid me. Never again.