I write this post from the bed of a girl I’ve just had sex with. She’s asleep and I’m not tired, so I’ve taken some time to reflect on what just happened.

A year ago, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend as I felt we weren’t on the same wavelength about many things and I began to realize how much I had let myself and my interests go. From that moment onwards, I still went on occasional dates as I had been in two consecutive relationships over 5 years and was curious to see what the market was like. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I felt most women were seriously entitled and what I was getting wasn’t reflective of my own value. I couldn’t understand it. Coupled with the #metoo movement, I began to realize that pursuing anything with any woman was no longer viable. It was around this time I also discovered MGTOW, so I eventually called it quits in August after having sex again with this one girl who, albeit attractive, was a complete liability and decided to abstain altogether.

Turns out, it isn’t easy. Generally until now, it has been fine and masturbation has got me through it when needed, but last night I texted this girl I had previously slept with 6 months ago and tonight I’m in her bed and I feel fucking awful. It was a 90 minute trip to get here and it’s gonna be another 90 minutes tomorrow - that’s 3 hours traveling, plus a whole evening of my time. I’m annoyed at myself because I feel like I’ve wasted precious time and given validation to a woman who isn’t even that attractive. Moreover, she could be a liability as well as she’s liberal as fuck as well. I’m embarrassed and I felt like by making this post I might make myself more accountable for next time.

TLDR: I let my dick make decisions for 24 hours.

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