For a long time I’ve lurked on this sub, and feel now I need to contribute to what has become, and will remain, a beacon for men who are lost and broken.

The details of my story are irrelevant. The themes of all of our stories are the same. Betrayal, shock, and an overwhelming, cold sense that there’s nobody who’s going to make this feel better. You’re not going to read something and magically feel unburdened. You will not wake up one day and find the pain you are harboring is gone. It never will be. The pain becomes an old sad song that you will eventually choose to listen to with a warm sense of nostalgia, at best. Learning to accept that is part of being a man. The only thing you’re in control of 100% in this world is your reaction, and even then there’s a compelling argument it’s not 100% control.

The real secret, and I hate using that word because there are no shortcuts, is embracing what has happened and forgiving yourself for allowing it to happen. You’ll find it’s easier to forgive what you’ve labeled as the reason for your pain, easier than you will forgive yourself.

There is you, and only you. And that’s okay. It’s actually great. Truly.