I'm new to this reddit, but not new to the ideas of MGTOW, allthough I wish I was further with some of the project which I said out for myself, I'm slowly becomming more and more in my own as a man.

That being said, I realized something when I was thinking about my past, in which I was still a nice naive men (some might even say boy) who thought that if I spend enough time and energy on a women she would fall for me. I have been in love three times and all the three times the same partern followed:

1 (The falling and losing control stage) Met the girl and fell for her, sometimes at first sight some other times after we kissed or spend time together. Really want to be with her.

2 (The desperation positive feedback loop) In my attempt to win over the girl I would shower her with attention and compliments, try to find way to be valuable to her and come of as the perfect men (or atleast the idea of the perfect men which I though women held). This sometimes led to small succes since some of these girls initially where kind of into me. However every moment I did not close the deal so to speak, I became more desperate which led to more attention, which led to the girl no apprecaiting the attention, which led to more desperation ect ect.

3 (The explosion, the confesion and depression) As some of you might know a positive feedback loop either keeps going for ever or it explodes, this happens with the desperation feedback loop aswell. In a final effort when I felt that the girl was really not intressted in my attention anymore, I would confess how I felt in a hope of final glory for her to see I was the man for her. Ofcourse this did not work because she was already turned of by my desperation.This would lead to a depressed state, heart break to use the metaphorical term.

4 (analysing myself, concluding, trying to become a better man) Afther the heartbreak I stared wondering what went wrong, ofcourse I blamed myself because a man should be able to win over a women, if she is not intressted that it is his fault (Notice the large amount of sillyness in this thought patern). So I started to analyse myself and wonder what is not right in my approach and what should be better about myself. The conclusion was something abritrary like, I need to be more confident, or be more attentive, or whatever bullshit. After that conclusion I would try to improve myself, to become a beter man for the woman in the world.

5 (back to step 1) and repeat untill step 5.

What nobody ever told me, accept MGTOW, that it was not only me who was to blame. True the whole nice guy thing is a very good way to make women walk all over you and therefore squander every chance you have to be with her. But the simple fact is that woman are attracted to attractive man (circle definition I know) meaning that sometimes you just do not have a chance no matter what you do. Also an important lesson is that you do not have to prove anything to a woman, she either likes you are she does not. If nothing else she should prove herself to you, or atleast prove yourselves to each other. That is if you want to date women at all, which for me seems less and less attractive every day.

To conclude trough MGTOW and experience I have finally broken the patern. Now I just do not fall for woman anymore, and simply keep reminding myself why should I chance or improve, I'm fine the way I'm for myself. If I want to chance I change for me and not because I need to worthy of a woman.

So the thing I have been trying to say I think is: Thanks, MGTOW!