I've been really going back and forth over this....

ThatoneSokom · 2017-08-17T20:20:23+00:00

Someone forcing you into something you don't want to do, is the peak of happiness you will have had when you get married. You will look back on this day of "This was the peak of my life, that time I could have walked away from marrying a bully."

slyn69 · 2017-08-17T20:03:10+00:00

dont ever get married. its the biggest mistake a man can make in his life. you will be avoiding 90% of lifes problems just by not getting married.

jason1009 · 2017-08-17T21:06:05+00:00

You are legally and financially bound to the child. DO NOT put the same attachment to a woman. DO NOT GET MARRIED. DO NOT GET MARRIED. DO NOT GET MARRIED.

If she does not have to be the "house bitch", please tell me what she actually does all day? I am NOT saying I think a woman's place is cooking, cleaning, and raising children. I just want to know how she spends her time. College? Work? If she works, what type of job? What is her drive in life besides getting knocked up by you and expecting to be taken care of?

I would be cautious of even cohabitating with her if you do not intend on marriage. IANAL and do not know common law marriage laws so be careful! The family court system CAN and WILL be used against you!!!!!!!

relevantretriever · 2017-08-17T20:06:10+00:00

She sees $$$, not you. This is the reality. The sooner you accept that and process it the easier your life will be. Do not marry this woman. You're already going to pay child support sooner or later. Don't make it a big fat alimony check too.

ImmortanV8 · 2017-08-17T21:37:36+00:00

Her saying that she doesn't want to be the house bitch basically tells you all you have to know:

she is totally unsatisfied with her life that includes you and the child and she wants to change it without regards towards you. This is not what she expected from life and its your fault she doesn't get what she deserves!
she has high expectations that you obviously cannot provide so she is looking for a way out. Her self image is that of a princess but you are just a regular dude. She doesnt really love you/value you for who you are and what you provide her
She will only marry you in order to dump you, take everything from you and stop taking care of you in order to get herself a more comfortable lifestyle with your money. Why live with this looser who gave me this child and destroyed my future when I can live without him but still get his money?
her disregard for your emotions and her pushing you tells you how things will be going once you are in marriage: it will get way more worse, she will start barking orders and will use you as a pressure valve for all her discontent, and there already seems to be alot of that.

Marriage for you with this women would be suicide. As long as she doesn't get that card she has to keep her shit together and that in the end is better for your son! Dont forget that! Dont stay passive towards that pressure, try to get that problem out of this world

2QuietDude · 2017-08-17T20:08:57+00:00

First off, don't get married. There is literally zero incentive in your case. No Pros, NONE. Her demands have no power over you. Think clearly here.

What about getting married is going to change anything about your current situation other than you taking on an additional massive financial risk via alimony, giving up physical property, etc? Nothing. Women do this kind of thing as a financial strategy masked as an emotional appeal.

If you think "oh but quietdude, she's different, we've got a good relationship something something something she loves me." NO. There is nothing about this relationship that is anything different from all the others that have failed. Keep your sovereignty, keep your whits about you, provide for your child (you confident its yours?), keep the state out of your life.

doubleecho88 · 2017-08-17T20:09:08+00:00

Let's put it this way - you have a kid with her so you're already fucked. If you marry her, you will be so fucked that you'll be living in your car (if you're lucky enough to still have it) when she divorce rapes you.

DO NOT GET FUCKING MARRIED. DO NOT GET FUCKING MARRIED. DO NOT GET FUCKING MARRIED. DO NOT GET FUCKING MARRIED. DO NOT GET FUCKING MARRIED. DO NOT GET FUCKING MARRIED.

sidel3 · 2017-08-18T04:35:32+00:00

If you are living with her, you are probly married to her in your local government's eyes.

BewareTheOldMan · 2017-08-18T15:05:42+00:00

DO! NOT! MARRY! THIS! WOMAN!

Outsourcing child rearing (e.g. Nanny) is a great short-term solution, but your MAIN GOAL is FULL CUSTODY. This woman is toxic and will shortchange your son's upbringing and set him up for future problems. She doesn't even want to be the housewife/"house bitch," [as she calls it] despite NOT having any income or doing anything to make your life better.

Truth is...she doesn't want to be a mother. Your son is a means to an end in order to LOCK you into a marriage contract. If you are cohabitating, get out now - even if you have to live temporarily with friends/family. Set up another apartment for you and your son, fight for and later gain custody. Coordinate details for childcare/nanny.

You seem as if you care for your son's wellbeing. Be sure to spend quality time with your son and keep detailed notes. This is a CLEAR SETUP to get marriage, eventual divorce with alimony and child support.

She CLEARLY does not respect you or your effort and is likely upset that the man she TRULY wants does NOT want to be with her. Be on the lookout for someone else. If this is the case - no issues...just end the relationship. Another man or not - get away from this woman. I am 100% CERTAIN your life will get worse whether married or if you stay in the relationship.

After ending the relationship, be prepared to pay child support. No issues - it's the right thing to do, but consider it temporary as you work for later custody. You as a man leading your son through his early and teen years to adulthood is MUCH better than his mother's instruction. Side Note: I have three kids and literally had to “retrain” and personally correct my ex-wife’s negative influence on my children in order to ensure they grew up to be productive, well-behaved adults. It is hard work, frustrating, and very draining to be the perpetual “fixer.” Avoid that by getting custody and instilling YOUR positive values. Of course your kid will spend time with his mother, but without knowing you personally – you are CEARLY the better parent. Your actions support my comments and opinion.

This woman CLEARLY DOES NOT understand "terms and conditions" of even an "implied contract" which is you provide leadership, income, protection, and ensure the family's health, safety, and wellbeing. She fulfills her role as wife and mother in exchange for the aforementioned benefits. For this to work, she MUST be enthusiastic, cooperative, nurturing, loving, faithful, respectful, etc. She appears to have NONE of these qualities and will certainly become worse if you make the mistake of marriage. MARRIAGE IS A CONTRACT that benefits her tremendously while placing you at SEVERE DISADVANTAGE, hence the reason she "demands it."

The reality is that many women are envious of her situation, but it appears that she does NOT want homemaker/wife duties. However, as is the case with many "modern women," she wants ALL the benefits WITHOUT any of the associated responsibilities.

By the way if her demeanor and personality shifts to nice, loving, and supportive...it is a TRAP! Classic "Bait and Switch" tactic. It's ONLY to get you to sign the contract and then later hit you with divorce, etc. She already tried to “trap you” with the kid. When women are making demands or using direct conversation/words, it’s because she’s frustrated. She knows that as an unwed mother she is NOW unable to get the situation she truly wants. That’s her fault for having a child BEFORE marriage. DO NOT feel guilty about HER CHOICES. Do what’s best for YOU first, followed by your son.

Be careful. Good Luck.

MarketGiraffe · 2017-08-17T21:28:40+00:00

start planning to find a new place to live and eventually leave her. The demands will not stop and her emotions are currently bottling up. She will explode soon and if you don't have video evidence she has the complete ability to charge you with domestic abuse, regardless of all you are doing for her.

You need to get out of this situation.

General_Fear · 2017-08-17T22:04:26+00:00

Check the laws of your state. Does your state have common law marriage? If so, get out before you are married.

MGTOWIAN · 2017-08-17T23:27:50+00:00

She sounds like she's already broken in(vaginally speaking), and guessing by her attitude she won't bring much to the marriage situation. She just wants to do even less and marriage is a great way of going about it.

JayJayEcks · 2017-08-17T23:58:47+00:00

No. Dammit no. Do not let her seal the deal.

It will only get worse.

Do not do it.

You've been warned.

You currently have leverage and the upper hand. Do not give this away.

You'd only be making yourself miserable.

ClickUsername4MGTOW · 2017-08-18T00:52:28+00:00

Marrying a woman is like adopting a child that ALWAYS talks back, and she knows she can legally get away with it too, so she takes full advantage of that. Take care of yourself and your child, kick her deadbeat ass to the curb.

JackHererFck · 2017-08-18T04:00:16+00:00

Plenty of negatives and zero benefit to marrying her... None at all.

Why is this a hard decision for you? Because you're getting emotional. The more emotion increases the less rational a person is. Emotion isn't bad but it's clouding your reason.

cashmoney_x · 2017-08-18T06:03:57+00:00

Why do people stay in jobs they hate?

Money.

She hates being "the house bitch" but she'll stay if you marry her.

She's asking for a raise. Her performance will not improve. You get nothing here.

6tfcxdr54eszaw32q1 · 2017-08-18T06:21:15+00:00

Don't do it.

You don't owe her shit.

inspiron3000 · 2017-08-18T09:46:00+00:00

She wants marriage but doesn't want to be a home maker.
So you outsource raising your son to a nanny, let her go to work, and get on with your life.

FlyingSexistPig · 2017-08-18T19:07:53+00:00

First off, she's not 'stuck at home' taking care of her infant. She's comfortably taken care of, doing what she loves.

You can get everything good about marriage without getting married. Every. Single. Thing.

Title	I've been really going back and forth over this....
Author	ThatoneSokom
Upvotes	14
Comments	39
Date	August 17, 2017 7:59 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/6uclbq/ive_been_really_going_back_and_forth_over_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/ive-been-really-going-back-and-forth-over-this.563404 https://theredarchive.com/post/563404

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