Just need some advice/wisdom

honda_vfr · 2019-10-10T00:26:35+00:00

What would you recommend me doing in the future?

Ignore the women. Ignore the parties.

Focus on your career.

Start writing about your chosen field. That means research. Spend as much time in the libraries as possible, reading everything you can get your hands on.

Krazyrobus · 2019-10-10T01:18:16+00:00

Let's start off with this. YOU need to own this fuck up. In this scenario i'm leaning more to her side than yours, maybe 70%, her not mentioning her bf is wierd. However, you were busy trying to be friends with her when you had an attraction to her. Is it her fault that you chose not to close the deal, this doesn't happen if you decide you have an interest in her, tell her you do and then if she tells you there is someone, you move on. You chose to build this one sided chemistry in your head and then get mad at her for you not closing earlier, nope, own it.

When I have an interest in a lady, I will try to close right off the bat, if she doesn't feel the same way, alright cool, I move on, I haven't invested months of emotion into the whole thing.

I would recommend that if you meet a lady you are interested in, then decide what category you want her to be in and then make a move early. Don't be on some, we'll be friends and build up some chemistry, that shit only works in romcoms.

I became red-pilled at 32, It affected my tolerance for shit, I had a low tolerance already, but it became so much less now that I know the cues to look for in relationships.

[deleted] · 2019-10-10T01:18:55+00:00

I was in a position very similar to yours.

With time I calmed myself, notice that what I liked were the ideas that I've formed myself of her because I believed she was different. Now we work together, even after I thought about stopping talking to her.

What would you recommend me doing in the future?

Stop having expectations about others.
Don't stop talking to her just because she has a boyfriend, just keep that relationship as a friendship and not as a possible girlfriend (unless you want it)

betterforitall · 2019-10-10T01:30:45+00:00

A couple thoughts:

She might have been planning to monkey branch to you. She may have even made up a boyfriend to see how you would react.

Where is this boyfriend while you're hanging out 4-5 hours a day.

Other stuff:

I experienced something very similar and if I could have ghosted her I would have. If she hasn't jumped you yet she never will. Unless you just want to be her friend, don't let her waste your time.

GoMake_me_a_sandwich · 2019-10-10T00:42:07+00:00

This is a time you should probably just be direct. Tell her you what you want (relationship or Just fun). There is no reason for you to be 'just friends' if you want more and she doesnt. A woman wouldnt do that. So its fair for you as well.

themasculinemonk · 2019-10-10T01:31:33+00:00

It’s hard to say what will be the best course of direction for you. Every mans journey is unique and complex.

The MGTOW way is a sure way of living a very focused and stress free life. Don’t party too much. Be healthy and hit the gym. Focus on your studies and your purpose. Eventually mastery and success in your field will bring the women to you and you can pick. But that’s if you’re willing to risk heartbreak, mind games, rape accusations, domestic abuse accusations, and possible divorce rape.

However, I do believe life is our greatest teacher. I don’t know your experience level with women or in general but how would you know if the grass in greener if you haven’t been on both sides of the grass? How would you know love until it’s been experienced and lost? How would you appreciate what you had until it was gone?

You do have the option of being just red pilled or married red pill or Mgtow or monk Mode. But I say you won’t be able to be any of these unless you had a powerful emotional impact that led you to them.

betterforitall · 2019-10-10T01:44:10+00:00

One other thing, if she's not acting like a cat in heat around you, you're an orbiter.

Women who want you will get in your personal space, touch you, press against you, show off their bodies any way they can, make tons of eye contact, and invade your life.

Any woman who isn't doing all these things, but instead just some of those things. is teasing you to get something. It may just be she needs attention, but that's all your getting from her is the opportunity to give her attention.

pinewoodpine · 2019-10-10T02:02:47+00:00

If you want to be friends, be friends.

if you want to be more than friends, be more than friends.

I don’t recommend anything beyond “more than acquaintances” but that’s up to you.

Randaranrandy · 2019-10-10T04:37:24+00:00

If you come on as a friend, a friend you will be. She didn't see you more than that, and she probably got the feeling you were looking to get intimate with her. That is why she mentioned her boyfriend, so you will subtly know she doesn't have that kind of feelings for you. You're young, you should experience life, and woman too. And looks like you still want to, it's a completely natural feeling for guys your age. Next time, if you want/like a woman, let her know early on that you're not just a friend. And you can experience relationships and why people may go MGTOW. It will be a learning experience. I can not speak for everyone, but for me, I became red-pilled at 32 after a kind of traumatic experience in my life with my ex-wife. Feelings of despair, isolation, loneliness, social disconnection. Almost had to hit rock bottom to unplug. The red pill is not something you can swallow easily, you have to experience it and see it for yourself. If shit happens, reflect on it and learn from it. Don't just wander aimlessly doing the same thing over and over again.

user_miki · 2019-10-10T10:24:24+00:00

Imo there there is not such thing as friends between men and women.There is always sexual exception from one side or the other.And women knows that probably she want to keep you close just in case.Women in relationships should not have "friends" of the opposite sex and the same for men.I'm sure a girlfriend will not tolerate you have women friends.Probably was a shit test for you to see if you are interested in her .Tell her casual you have a girlfriend see how she reacts.Her reaction will tell you everything to know.

Title	Just need some advice/wisdom
Author	Blackstarafro
Upvotes	5
Comments	12
Date	October 10, 2019 12:21 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/dfq0ch/just_need_some_advicewisdom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/just-need-some-advicewisdom.395084 https://theredarchive.com/post/395084

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