Keks

Women will throw words and phrases into their online dating profiles to signal willingness to have casual sex rapidly. I mean, I know - a woman's even doing online dating indicates she wants casual sex with the right attractive men. But they'll include all sorts of key words to move that process along. Like:

Adventurous

--I'm down to try some things I've never tried before, like double penetration, spit roasting, some MMF action, hard domination, pain, humiliation, group, or weird kinky shit like felching or snowballing.

I'm also definitely down for casual sex.

Spontaneous

--I'm down to fuck at a moment's notice.

Fun

--I'm down for casual sex, but I'm especially into it when you're entertaining and you make me laugh and make me feel special

"I'm looking for a real connection. (Variations: I want a connection. I really want an emotional connection.)

----I want to feel attractive and attracted, I want to feel all the yummy ooey gooey feelings in my tummy when I'm with a guy I'm about to have sex with, I want him to make my pussy tingle, I want it to just happen with no prompting on my part, I want him to just "get it" and just do these things to and for me without me having to work at it, and I want it to be totally spontaneous so I can say it "just happened" and to absolve me of any responsibility if it doesn't work out the way I want.

And then I want that guy to stay with me, and make me feel that way all the time. And I will be bitterly disappointed and angry and will break up with him and divorce him when he, like all men, proves to be unable to make me feel that way all the time.

I love to laugh.

--I expect you to entertain me. If I don't have a good time with you, you're definitely not getting laid.

mid 30s to late 40s, never married, definitely wants kids

--I'm totally delusional. I still believe that, at 39, I can get pregnant and carry at least 2 healthy viable children to term. This, even though I'm 39 years old, have been on hormonal birth control since I was 16, had a bout of chlamydia at 24, was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome a few years ago, have never been pregnant, and am 40 pounds overweight. I must be able to do this because, um, my sister's best friend's second cousin twice removed had her first kid at 41! Never mind that even at this late date I STILL have been totally and completely unable even to get a decent quality guy to stay with me long enough, much less get married, much less get him to agree to father a child with me and make a decades-long time and money investment in me.

Or, it's this:

--Holy fucking shit, where did the time go? I've really screwed the pooch on this. Damn, I'm 37. All the hookups, one nighters, short termers and long term relationships i had didn't work out for one reason or another. I need to get this baby thing going like, right now. So, yeah. Any guy i date will be immediately sent to his urologist for an STD panel and a sperm count test. Because, guys, I NEED TO HAVE A BABY. RIGHT NOW.

No hookups, I don't do hookups, if you're looking for a hookup move along/swipe left

--I am saying I will not do hookups. But I have to say that because i don't want people to think I'm shallow or a slut. I also don't want these beta bitchboys I need commitment from to think I'm easy. I need them to work for it because I need them to commit and go all in. But you attractive guys, you hot guys I want to fuck, you know that all this "no hookups" shit doesn't apply to you. I know you'll blast right through that and get down to business. And I am good with that. In fact I am hoping that you'll tell me how full of shit I am, pass the shit test, step on the gas, and go for it with me.

my kids' father is great and we get along really well

--my baby daddy pays his child support because i had him thrown in jail a couple of times when he didn't pay. And he takes the kid(s) off my hands for his designated every other weekend and major holidays. And we get along OK, meaning he does what the court order says and I get what i want.