I am not quite sure on how to move on.

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I now am a 20 year old and was raised by a single mother. My father was a very weak man mentally (he was heavily abused by his parents as a kid), and my parents divorced when I was 6. It wasnt a huge problem, I almost never saw my father anyway due to work, and was never any kind of role model. The divorce was quite peaceful, my mother didnt even take in all of the child support my father would technically owe her per law. She got my custody, but it was the best thing, has my father had quite a few bad habits, including addictions to alcohol and smoking, to deal with on his own (he never got violent or anything though). My mother did the best she could to raise me, but a mother just can not replace a father. He was still living pretty close to me, he took care of me financially pretty well (all extra money went directly to me and not to my mother), but he never was something even remotely of a father figure, was never really there in person.

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As to be expected, when I turned 14/15, I got depressed and almost slipped into deep incel ideology. Was an outcast generally: I didnt know how to speak with women, was/still am quite fat due to bad eating habits from my mother and a failed diagnosis when I was 8 (they treated me multiple years with unnecessary medications that made me almost obese) and all the other stereotypical stuff. Thankfully, some MGTOW-ish Youtubers like Coach Red Pill and Elliott Hulse saved me from that descent and gave me a faint sense of purpose. Fast forward to now, I studied chemistry and process engineering for 1 year respectively. Dropped out of the first one because I still was quite unaware of myself, got into video game addiction (again), and the social environment was quite shitty. After that year, I already wanted to become a teacher, I noticed that was where i belong. But at that year my father and grandfather died like 2 months apart from each other, just when I realized the full extend of my mother complex. It took me into, like, a nihilistic phase, where I just did what was the easiest socially, what didnt cause much trouble to my family that is left and just disconnected from myself. So I went on studying engineering. During that, I caught myself again and realized how stupid that was, but maybe I just needed that.

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Now comes the thing. I know that I am not very disciplined with myself (procrastination almost on the level of self sabotage) and do not want my teacher education to fail, so I thought going to the army would be a good thing to do for myself. I would serve my country and develop myself trendemously. Also, I think the experiences I would gain there would really help me becoming a better teacher. On the other hand, I really feel that I belong into teaching those subjects, I wanna teach (Physics and Religion), and do not want to delay that any further. Also, especially when doing things like going to the army, unforeseen things can always happen, like accidents or other injuries, so that I could not pursue my dream of becoming a teacher anymore. Thats nothing I want to risk because I just KNOW that teaching is my place to be in and something I could imagine myself having a future in, I am very very good at explaining complex things very easiliy and comprehandable. Also, I now view delaying inevitable things for "collecting experiences" just as another form of procrastination (that "collecting experiences" thing was the primary excuse for me to not begin getting into teaching). I would like to have some thoughts and or perspectives on that dilemma I have.

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I know that my problems aren't that big in comparison to problems other people have, but they still are my own and have their respective meaning to me. I would appreciate some thoughts in this.

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(On a side note, student debt isn't a huge issue here as it is very very low in germany and I still have quite some savings to pay almost all of it off from government support that I could put aside from a semi-minimalistic lifestyle.)

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I am sorry for some grammar/spelling mistakes as I am a native german speaker.