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This is my throwaway account because she know my main account. My son is 5. About 2 days ago we were out shopping and ran into a high school friend of hers. She was catching up when she told her friend that we had a son. When the old friend asked his name my wife hesitated and I told her. She had a strange look on her face then said you mean like your ex boyfriend. Our sons name is very unique to the point that I've never met another person with the same name. Now she refuses to talk to me about it. I feel betrayed and disgusted with her. It's like a switch was flipped my mind and I just can't look at her the same way.

Update 1. Lots of questions so I'll go ahead and answer a few that have been mentioned a few times. I'm not giving out my son's name. When we discussed the name I had no idea it was her high school ex's name. I knew she had one boyfriend in high school who's name was never told to me and their relationship lasted around two years. I'm upset but that doesn't automatically make make me abusive. I would never raise my hand to my wife or anyone else I care about. I will always love my son and I would never and I mean never treat him any differently. I will post an update when I talk to her probably in a day or two

Update 2. So to get some things out of the way first. The kid is mine. I have very pronounced features that he also has plus her ex was black and I'm white. I'm not going to "throw him away" as so many comments suggested. When we were deciding on the name she said she remembered somebody from school who had it and instantly loved it. My wife and I both had a very promiscuous past before we met and agreed that the past should stay there so I didn't push to hard to know certain details. I knew she had one boyfriend in high school who cheated on her but I never asked his name and that is my fault.

So update time. Thursday we didn't have the discussion because that is her late day at work plus this wasn't a discussion I wanted to have with our son in the house. So Thursday night when she came in I told her that Friday after work we needed to sit down and talk and if she has any plans she need to cancel. She looked very worried and said ok. Friday came and we sit down after her sister came to pick up our son for a sleep over. I asked why would not tell me where our name came from? She said she was sorry but she didn't think it was that big of a deal and I would not agree to it. I told her that it was my choice too and she took that away from me. I asked her if she would feel the same way if we had a daughter and named her after one of my ex's and she said that's different I wouldn't let that happen. She said that she knows she can disconnect the name from her ex but she wouldn't be sure I could do the same. I was floored and starting to feel sicker than I had felt. I told her that is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard come out of someone's mouth. I moved on because I had more questions and I was about to go off just on what she just said. I asked her if she still loved him and she paused for a minute then said yes but not in same way she loves me and that you don't just stop loving someone that love changes. I wanted to throw up at this point. She could see that I was very upset. She smiled at me and said I should know she only wants to be with me. I said that I needed to know how you love him. At that point she put her hand on my leg and tried to change the subject. I told her to take her fucking hand off me right now and answer the question. Her mood changed right there from wanting to move past this to no he didn't just fucking cuss at me. She said look you're upset and I get that but what is done is done so you need to get over this and move on. She got up and said I'm meeting my mom dinner I'll see you when you get home. I told her if you walk out that door then no you won't. She looked at me like I was full of shit grabbed her purse and left. I packed my bag and stayed at a friend's house last night. Right now I'm just sitting here trying to figure out what to do next.

Update 3 is up. Check my post history