This one's cover story: NHS medical professional owns two properties living in one and renting the other. Doesn't do drugs, hardly drinks, independent mother of two. Wants a relationship. Attractive at 36 genuinely.

A fortnight in bombards me with messages about how she is laying in the bath crying, wants to kill herself. Saw her that night genuinely concerned and she is crying boardering on psychotic but then momentarily calm with one eye squinting pauses and looks at me to see if I'm buying the single mum sob story, then resumes.

Now I'm bullshit hardened, I've had a few glasses with her and knowing I cant drive home listen to her talk about her "hard life" exs and struggles including her failed marriage (divorce raping a GP is why she owns properties it's fuck all to do with being a independent career woman). She also drops she is ashamed being a mother and taking cocaine regularly into the red flag cocktail of a evening.

Obviously I played along parked it one last time for a nights board. Next morning she starts tapping her head with a puzzled expression because of what she worded as the zorbing, turns out it's a side effect of her medication.

Relieved to get in my car and drive the fuck away like Jessie from Breaking Bad finale I get a message saying that she can't see things going anywhere (she realised I'd clocked her psychopathic nature) so I replied with the standard 👍 take care.

Had a few hey how are you messages since the thought we could be friends blah blah, had her laughably refer to me as a ex. Politely declined all invitations. Best play, don't know what that nutter could accuse me of.

Reality: Medicated for psychological issues and while I never worked out what for I presume bipolar. Heavy drinker. Loves cocaine. Mental case. Her ex husband probably has a commemorative tattoo to mark the day he was free.

That's why I'll pass on the filtering through online dating profiles. That why I went my own way long before I stumbled across the mgtow abbreviation.