I am a 30-year-old unemployed homeless man writing you from his parents’ basement. Let me share how I got here with hopes that other young men can learn something…

After going through HS and college single and leading a clean lifestyle, I began a career in tech where I spent a few years working on myself and casually dating. On the day my grandfather passed away, I decided to became more serious about dating with hopes of one day having a happy family. Fast forward nearly a year and I meet the cutest woman. We had so much in common and she really supported everything I did. Strong values as well.

Because she was so supportive of me, I wanted to really be there for her. She had a temper. Now this only happened once every month or two and the rest of the time was great, so I wrote it off as something we could work on as our relationship matured. I also thought I could lessen her stress levels with shelter, resources, security, career advice and that would make it stop.

I went on to move her and her therapy pet in with me because she was having issues with her female roommates. After taking her to a company event, she convinced my female co-worker to give her a job. She was just out of college and a bit lost, so I was happy to help any way I could. At this point, we’re living together and I’m giving her my car to get to work about 8 months into our relationship. She’s a hard worker though. I was happy because she was learning to be an adult and really grow up professionally.

Despite her professional progress, she had more bouts of rage and I reluctantly told her I couldn't continue with the relationship. She starts throwing my things and locks herself in her room. Me being the nice human I am notice she’s oddly quiet and break into her room where I see her lying unconscious with pills next to her. Called 911 and she was 5150ed. She had no friends or family in the area so I go pick her up.

We talked and it seemed that low point was what she needed to really turn herself around so I agreed to give it a shot – she would always apologize after the fits of rage but always come back to the same points in the next fit of rage – I also didn’t know what to do because she was living and working with me still.

From that moment on, I was too afraid to hurt her feelings because I didn’t want her to harm/kill herself. So we stay together 3 more years and every time I try to leave, she threatens to contact my friends/family/work and smear my reputation, throw all of my belongings to the curb and call the cops to have me arrested for domestic violence if I try to stop her, and yes suicide.

Fast-forward and we’re working at different places at this point (she’s been laid off 3 times but keeps getting better jobs). She attends another company event where she learns my boss is causing co-workers a lot of issues. I see the issues as well, but she gets involved and encourages me to speak out and take it on myself to fix the company dynamic which I try to do. In the end, the head of the department gets fired but he’s also friends with the CEO so the CEO just fires everyone involved.

When she inevitably has her next fit of rage, she unleashes on me and screams how everything bad is my fault. Everyone getting fired was my fault, our relationship problems are my fault, everything I’ve ever been involved with that wasn’t perfect was an incredible failure due to me and even the stuff I thought was good wasn’t good.

I sneak out of our rare rent-controlled apartment a broken man, she keeps all the furniture, expensive gifts, and appliances along with my security deposit. She is now living in my apartment, has a great career, and got a new guy within three weeks of us breaking up – her exes friend that she told me was a "super creepy guy" that had a crush on her. She posts about how she loves him already after telling me a month earlier that she wouldn’t date again. Best of all, yeast infection suppositories show up as a recently ordered item in our amazon account two months later. She even had the audacity to reach out to me and my father to get more money from me. I can only imagine what a divorce would have looked like.

What a nightmare. Now I don’t know where to live because I don’t know where I’ll find work so I’ve come back to my parents’ house on the other side of the country hoping to get my bearings. The thought of being in the same city as her makes me sick. This is rock bottom. This is my cautionary tale.

*throwaway account for obvious reasons