Thots being thots

Final edit: I never thought this would get so popular, but apparently the thing to do is address some comments. First, I said in the op that I OBVIOUSLY stopped when I realized he was asleep. Second, I do realize the irony of calling him a mess. It is what it is.

This happened about 10 minutes ago....

I'm recently single living with my sister and her family. My mom and I talk every day, but I don't tell her about the dumb shit I do. Anyway, I've been spending time with this guy that's definitely bad news. He works a ton, but he's a goddamn mess.

My mom knows that I've been "seeing" this guy because my sister told her. She interrogated me about it tonight. I tried to say good things about him because otherwise it reflects badly on me...

Anyway, dude and I are hanging out tonight drinking whiskey and beer. We have sex. I get off, but he doesn't. I decide to go down on him... and he fucking falls asleep. In. The. Middle.

Obviously, I stop and text my best friend about it. Except I text my mom and say "he fell asleep with his dick IN MY MOUTH" 😩😩😩😩 Immediately text her back saying that wasn't meant for her...

So, she's going to wake up tomorrow, to go to YOGA, and see how I had some drunk dudes dick in my mouth who passed out. I don't know if she'll be more upset that I text her in the middle of the night or that I'm apparently so shitty that dudes pass out on me....

TL;DR told my mom that a dude passed out with his dick in my mouth

Edit: apparently it's not okay to make a joke about a dude working hard and having whiskey dick 🙄 just to be clear, I don't hold any of this against him. I know he'll think it's just as funny as I do.

Edit #2: I sent my mom another text saying "Sorry! What is my life?!". She replied "Figured. I was wondering the same thing..."