I want to share with you a story. This is a throwaway for no particular reason, I just prefer to not have any social media accounts. This is going to be a somewhat TRP related post.

So a bit of a backstory about me: I'm in college studying Computer Science. For the past 2-3 years I've been training martial arts. I was never a strong kid, sitting all day at the computer made me scrawny, so in highschool I had decided on becoming stronger. And so, naturally after learning how to properly fight and being good at it, I had gained self-confidence. Very rarely have I skipped training, and my father was a huge huge support for everything I did. At the time I was pretty blue pilled and with a girl that I loved. After reading TRP naturally I started lifting. I broke up with my girlfriend at the time to experiment with different women. All was going well until a couple of months ago I lost my father due to cancer. This absolutely derailed me from everything because of how fast he died after he was diagnosed (died post-operation). He never got to see me go to college. And since then, for the first time I started skipping training.

From him I have inherited his flat, in which I lived before moving back in with my mom for logistical reasons (time and money). The crux of this story happened while I was living there. Up until that point as per usual TRP advice I was increasing my SMV, lifting weights on top of my routinely 6 times a week martial arts. So that's about 10 times a week of training (lmao XD). I got more attention from women and doing pickup was easy. But I had never spun plates successfully. Since I had a place to stay and that place was owned by me, I could bring girls there any time I wanted. By that time I was frequently fucking a plate at my own place a few times a week. So I set out and tried for the first time to fuck 2 different women within a single week. Other than the loss of my father I was still dealing with, what totally broke me was the fact that not only did I fuck 2 different women, but I did it in 2 days. The fact that it was nothing special was destroying. From that point on something broke inside and I don't think I can emotionally connect with women again.

It was at the flat that I decided to go MGTOW. I don't want to get any women accidentally pregnant by spinning plates. I don't want to commit to any woman because the time and money I'd have to invest is not worth the sex I would get (or worse, wouldn't get). I will exit the sexual marketplace, stop lifting for a while and return to doing what I love, just training martial arts. I am collecting books on Stoicism, and so far I've gotten Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus (physical copies). However, with all that said, even if you don't actively increase SMV, don't abandon your body, keep yourself healthy for yourself. As Seneca put it: "We should not live for our bodies, but we should live as tho without our bodies we couldn't."

Right now I'm in a really good place in life (money from father's pension and renting the flat, great education in college with scholarship, good guy friends), and I plan to keep it that way.

I wish you a happy day, and joyful life, gents!