Women expect to be wined and dined. They want you to pull out all the stops on Valentine's Day and your one month anniversary, six months, one year. If you can't afford jewelry (which is literally expensive glitter so they can grin at themselves in the mirror when they go to the ladies room) you sure as shit better spend your first year writing daily love notes and building a cedar chest for them. And the giant ass, expensive wedding they've dreamed about since childhood? The one that cost as much as a down payment on a house? Why again? And not only does she have to have a new car, some ugly crossover bullshit so she can drive around with her shallow girlfriends, but when it's time to take it in for maintenance, you better take the morning off and do it yourself so she doesn't rack up $2,000 in non-essential bullshit.

They can't merge into traffic or pull out of parking spaces in a timely manner. They make furniture-buying an emotional decision. THEY MAKE EVERYTHING AN EMOTIONAL DECISION! They have to have four new wardrobes a year. They fill your house with kitschy shit that just collects dust. They fuck up everything audio/video related. They stress-eat. They huddle together and have mindless conversations about premade salads from Whole Foods that cost more that a steak dinner.

Why the fuck do men just go along with it?!? It clearly annoys all of us! What the hell is going on?!