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Sometimes... its best to leave well enough alone

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Nothing in life is free.

Even life itself carries a price. The struggle, the silent torture of enduring.... and in the greatest of ironies.... capstoned with death itself.... the final invoice no one can evade.

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As my vacation neared its end, I found myself in the Red Light District of Amsterdam.

And, to immediately head off speculation; I did not partake in the "entertainment" that was for sale.

I walked through the narrow streets, seeing the sights I wanted to see. Buying the souvenirs that caught my fancy.

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All through the low-grade boredom I have come to expect from visiting any new destination.

No matter where I go, no matter what I see... there I am. Carrying the same perspective, problems, and the ever-present existential imperative to discover something, anything... that might make it all worth it.

To date, I have not found it. Not even within myself. Everywhere I go, every new sight, every new internal revelation; there it is... that same sense of emptiness. The boredom of everything... every external discovery being the same chaotic squalor.... and every internal frontier being the same pit of emptiness...

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That is until I encountered the Red Light District, and the one thing I was not prepared for...

For me, I expected what pornography always depicted; sultry demeanor's and 'come hither' expressions, filled with the promise of satisfying physical, carnal desire.

But I could have never prepared for seeing what wistful daydreams depicted; the gushingly warm, inviting smiles... creating an air of welcome that I had not known in what seems a lifetime... reminiscent of what I once though of as sincerity and genuine affection.... conveying the promise of something more than carnal satisfaction.... but a balm to soothe a weary soul.

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When a man embraces MGTOW, it means you have already accepted that so much of life, society, and women.... is a fabrication. A lie.

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And even with all this internalized truth. Amidst the crimson lights, I blew a sigh; my greater sense had to remind my wistfulness, that it was all an illusion, a lie. A projection originating from internal desire, and no small amount of naivety.

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But I observed. Noticing how even prostitutes would gush over the attractive "Euro-Chad" and turning more "sterile" towards the overweight and the homely.

Which would seem contradictory to what many would consider to be the "smart move" for a prostitute, to attempt secure the most money she can.... by luring those who truly have no chance... except by paying.

I observed a short-haired-platinum blonde who had no luck at all, and showed it on her face.

I observed the hottest prostitute who was so adamant that I come to speak to her.... so she could tell me "she" was actually a "he"

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Gents, back in r/MGTOW, I was one of the most adamant "a prostitute is like any other woman, they all trade something for sex... and they do it well." statements.

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And its true....

But, God damn it all....

Soon I leave Europe, to return to the US. I shall work, earn money. I shall continue to travel.

I shall see sights that others could only dream of. Accomplish goals forever beyond the reach of so many. Attain a level of fitness that is rare indeed in the world.

But it will all be a slow grind, right up until my death.... wondering right up until then.... wondering;

why did it have to be this way?

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Gentlemen...

Not everyone can be MGTOW.

Not everyone is strong enough.

Not everyone can travel-achieve-make-build-do-explore-etc, etc.

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And not everyone will find contentment, happiness, or any sort of fulfillment.

But that is life. No one ever said it was fair.

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But at the very least, in knowing this. You have a foundation in which you can confront life.

Because a life lived in despairing sorrow, is still worth more than a life in a comfortable lie.

Enough for tonight, I'm gonna get some sleep. Wake me if they make 'companion androids'