Stats: me 39, wife 38 - married 10 years, together 12. Two children: 9 yr old girl, 7 year old boy. 5'6" 170lbs. 15-18% BF

Lifts: Lifted my whole adult life but currently not with gym membership, keeping size with home gym, Squat - 365, Bench - 245, OHP - 155 former gym lifts (looking to join again soon with a gym with better hours)

Read: NMMNG, IFGWISN, RM 1, 2 & 3, The Way of Men, The Superior Man

Mission: Lead my family and kill my social anxiety

Background: This is my first OYS. The format will likely be all over the place. I've been red pill and applying the principles for about 3 years now. I've had some great success and many failures. It was all very eye-opening to me and I soaked up information like a sponge. Prior to my marriage, I was very involved in Pick Up and Gaming (back in the David Diangelo days). I had a lot of success with hookups but was very blue-pilled and would get attached easily. I do attribute getting over approach anxiety and an abundance mindset of women for the success I had meeting my wife. As we've gotten older, my SMV has continued to increase while hers decrease slightly due to age (she is starting to complain about ageing and she knows that age is directly related to that for a woman). I've managed to keep a comfortable lifestyle for us in order for her to be a SAHM. She firmly believes that a woman's job is motherhood. I agree with this yet it does add pressure to me that I've been able to manage. I've climbed the ladder to a C-level position along with two side-hustles. A lot of passive dread was felt by her through this progress. I saw all of the signs, results and scenarios play out like a textbook. At that point, I thought I had made it, I was done and things would only get better from there. Sex had become very abundant (it was lacking pre-redpill), many comfort tests. Wrong! I learned that the bar only gets set higher by you the more progress you make! While my career is doing great, my wife also has high anxiety, especially regarding our children. I'm very stoic and understand that we can't control things such as kids' anxieties and being over-protective. I do my best to lead by example and never panic, but I've been told by her that she feels she is a single parent because she is the only one who seems concerned and that I'm not engaged or involved enough. This friction and tension comes across in frustration outbursts and gaslighting from her. I'm more concerned with what example she is setting for my children as I see them get frustrated over stupid shit like she does. Managing my reactions and coaching her has been my biggest struggle in our relationship. Social: This is a big area (probably the most) that I need to focus on. I had a lot of clubbin' buddies pre-marriage that I do not keep in touch with. They were fun then, but pretty much turned out to be bumbs. Now I've only got a few acquaintances from work and my children's friend's dads. I struggle to form bonds with many of them as that are so beta and clueless about things. My wife see's my lack of relationships and I know it is unattractive. Hell, it's unattractive to me too. Being aware has created some social anxiety in me. I'm looking to pick up some new hobbies such as golf, since I get many invites to play.

I look forward to making progress in these areas and being more accountable to myself.