When I was young and wreckless, I ended up creating a kid with a girl. I tried to make it work for our child. It didn't. We never got married, and things got sour fast.

I immediately got a lot of feedback on what I should do. The main thing echoing from everyone was to put myself on child support before she does. My paperwork went into the system 2 days before hers. I was under the impression I would get what I wanted by doing such a thing. It shows I'm not running and I want what's best for my kid. Boy, was I wrong.

Mediation failed. She walked in there and said no to everything, without even listening to the question. The mediator laughed. I had a court hearing a week later. Everything I wrote on my child support form was null and void. He asked if I knew our child's name, then pulled both of our pay stubs. (I'm assuming this was his paternity test)

I walked away with no visitation, no overnights, nothing but empty pockets. Since mediation failed I had to come back. I have deployed twice since that hearing and nothing has gotten better with my ex. I have another child and got married, my life went on/circumstances changed.

I'm going back to court because they just upped my child support by $40 and I still have no visitation rights. Albeit, it's not the end of the world but the initial hearing was based off of daycare and diapers.

I called my lawyer, but I want to make him try his best. So here I am. I'm sure some of you have been through this, or going through it.

I want to raise my kid, plain and simple. I want to raise him with the money out of my pockets whilst he stays in my house. I do not want to pay her, but if I have to, I want my child support lowered. There is no point in paying her if he's staying a week at a time with me... I also could not financially support her if my son lived with me.

My wages have been garnished. I'm not in arrears. I haven't done anything negative but want to see my child, and she refuses to let that happen. Just wants to milk me. I think she knows if I get visitations/nights it will lower her check.

My next question would be this. Since I have another child, is this going to lower my child support? I'm not going to lie. My second son is suffering/going without the luxuries in life because I have a greedy disgruntled ex. My wife mainly raises and supports my second child which makes me feel like shit. She understands my situation though.

I also had a court order for mandatory Skype time, twice a week. I have email proof she wasn't giving me what was on the court order. What kind of leeway will this hold in court? My lawyer said if she doesn't abide, she's seen as unable to follow court orders, thus giving me more help from the judge.

My child support is set at 50/50 or 51/49. Something "even". I pay 769 a month. It seems I have to deploy every year, put my stuff in storage to avoid rent, just to save money. Which is time away from my children and wife. Something has to change.

Any information, tips, or general feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading.