Controversial Question: Should I [30M] respond privately to guy's FB post about Birth Control?... His sister/my EX-GF LIED to me about being pregnant for 1month!

First off - I'm a progressive liberal and vote/support women's equal rights on Birth Control

Background: Long story short I dated a girl for a year (2yrs ago) who I thought I loved but had too many personal issues (depression/biploar/dependency etc.). While we were breaking up, she LIED for 1 MONTH that she was pregnant to prolong our breaking up, and also THREATENED to keep the child (which poses HUGE legal /$$$ issues for me and all men).

Question: My question is controversial because this guy posted to spur healthy dialogue about women's issues, and he seems successful so far. But he has no clue (or forgot) that his OWN SISTER LIED to me and took advantage of the systemic double-standard that women claim is a "burden" - the choice to keep an unplanned pregnancy or not - yet MOST unmarried women would MOST likely get custody AND alimony for a child if they decided to keep it. I don't mean to get into legal details here but ethically speaking - how do women balance wanting rights but not the responsibility of keeping a child on their own?

I am a proponent of healthy dialogue, but while this personal issue/dilemma may be completely unique, it does raise concern how much people realize a debate/discussion is "healthy" or fair & balanced when it seems women take for granted how they benefit in a legal sense for custody/alimony in court.

TL;DR- guy posts Birth Control article and question to FB, his SISTER/my ex-gf once LIED for 1MONTH that she was pregnant to prolong our break-up, should I respond to him and how? (I know not to publicly but SO TEMPTING.)

[–]Rawesome[S] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]levelate 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Rawesome[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lawstuff1125 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

i am an attorney and you 100% can not get her disbarred, you would need to first off have succeeded in filing a criminal action over her use of the cards(which i am assuming you didint because she probably had access to them but not for the amount you let her use, you should have just issued a dispute to the credit cards as fraud and gotten a refund, your girl friend is a lawyer i am sure she assumed you where going to do that), when it comes to the bank account by "hack" i assume she used a password that you either told her or that she knew from experience to access the acount and transfer money- you would need to file a criminal charge to bring this up to a legal commitee but you wont since i assume she had acesss to the acount(same thing with the credit cards you should have just called the bank and told them the transfer was fraud and gotten a refund, very easy to do and a criminal complaint is not easy, if it was a straight transfer to her acount you just tell the bank it was not authorized and it would have been taken back)

on to the issue of custody and "alimony" for the child- alimony does not exist in the united states any more. what was alimony is now refered to as "spousal maintenance" and as the name implies it is not to a child but to an ex spouse after a divorce. it is a gender neutral term becuase it is not based on wife or husband but based on the separation of equities in the marriage. for the most part 99% of marriages will not have anyone receive maintenance payments, they are used traditionally by the very wealthy as a way to pay cash money in lieu of dierect equity- you can have x dollars a month but you do not get any of my buisness or houses ect

what you where trying to discuss was "child support"- child support is a formula determined by the court based on the income of the two parents and the living situation of the custodial parent(which is typically the mother for a variety of sexist reasons mostly being that men rarely seek being the custodial parent) this money is then paid to the custodial parent "for benefit of the child" ie it is money that is supposed to be for the child and not for the parent, which is why courts are not sympathetic to the non-custodial parent hating the custodial parent as grounds for not having to pay money

child support payments can be affected by a lot of factors- employment, marriage of the custodial parent, ect.. these can cause the payments to increase or decrease depending on the situation.

if a non-custodial parent feels his money is not being spent on the child they may petition the court for an acounting of the money and if the court finds the money is misused it can cause a lot of custdy or a criminal punishment

on to your basic question- why do you care about your ex girlfirends brothers birth control? i have a sister and if one of her ex's msgs me i could really give to fucks about what he has to say, least of all about what the hell they did together

[–]Arby01 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]levelate 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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