Just talkin...

battlingfrog · 2014-03-03T14:14:26+00:00

women are actively uninterested.

This is a bummer for you, but...oppression?

Using oppressive language, gestures, or completely ignoring.

Again, sort of confused by your idea of oppression. You realize that women aren't obligated to be interested in you sexually, correct? That women who do not know you are not required to pay attention to you?

Women find it acceptable to be this way while Men are more and more expected to be expressive, accepting, well off and interesting.

"Be this way"? You mean that more and more women are finding it acceptable not to respond positively to your advances? To not be attracted to you for one reason or another? I'm very confused as to how the trend you're seeing in your personal life of women ignoring you extends to our culture/society on the whole.

And why do you think that men are expected to be more "expressive"? That's actually one thing that the MRM seeks to address: the fact that men often feel they can't be expressive about their feelings, that we are socially conditioned to suppress our "weaker" emotions, that we need to appear stoic, mysterious, and invulnerable all of the time in order to feel "masculine".

And "accepting"? What do you mean? Like, tolerant? Plenty of women I know are tolerant and accepting, plenty of the men I know are unfriendly and rude. I don't know where you get this dichotomy from.

"Well off"? As in rich? I suppose that men are definitely expected to be "breadwinners", but I don't think that the expectation for all men is that they be wealthy entrepreneurs. It's certainly a desire a lot of people have but, again, hardly a societal "oppression".

"Interesting"? You don't think there's pressure on women to be interesting these days? Perhaps one of the reasons you aren't doing well with women lately is because you've written them all off as less interesting than yourself. That's not a very attractive attitude to have.

I realize you're "just talkin" and I'm sorry if this seems harsh. I just think it may be possible that because you've been in a rut dating-wise, you're assuming that it's women's fault when it isn't so that you can claim to be "incredibly oppressed". I think that the word "oppression" gets flung around a lot these days, but nothing that you're describing fits the bill for it. I'm glad to hear this:

I'm 25, in the best shape of my life. Looking good, feeling strong. I really like who I am right now

but I don't really think this:

yet I am either not interested in nearly every woman I meet, or the much more often occurrence, women are actively uninterested.

is a Men's Rights issue at all. I think it's a personal issue, and I hope that you manage to solve it soon. Good luck!

2014-03-03T08:13:40+00:00

And I ask, why should I? Why can't I just live my life, and be myself and share that? I feel like this is forcing people to be someone they aren't, and then they'll be upset with them for lying. Lose-lose.

Yes, why can't you? Just be like this, just be yourself, enjoy yourself and this way you'll be automatically filtering out those people who are just not a match for you, for either friendship, business or romantic intentions.

The closer you are to yourself, the more you show to the world of yourself, the more people you will most likely filter out, but the remaining ones are the good ones.

rightsbot · 2014-03-03T07:36:16+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

dolandoes · 2014-03-04T03:53:12+00:00

"So I've been thinking about Mens Rights for a while now and I came to the realization that I live my life incredibly oppressed."

Do go on.

"While women are more sexually expressive than ever, I'm despirited. I would say sexually despirited, but this is pervasive to many aspects of my life. I'm 25, in the best shape of my life. Looking good, feeling strong."

Ok.

"I really like who I am right now, yet I am either not interested in nearly every woman I meet, or the much more often occurrence, women are actively uninterested."

First half if you; second half is them (not much of a sell for "oppression" here). What's the difference between someone being "actively uninterested" and "passively uninterested"? Disinterest is disinterest. I imagine that the expression of said disinterest would be the difference here; the distinction that you're trying to make (but, you didn't explain it).

"Using oppressive language, gestures, or completely ignoring. Mutual friends between them and I say that they're like that to everyone."

As someone else points out, women are not obligated to pay attention to you or to express interest in you; no one is. What is "oppressive language"? No? I'm not interested? Please go away? Piss off?

None of that is "oppressive" in the true sense, lol.

And, it appeared that you were including "gestures" under oppressive there, but can't really be sure given your vague descriptions. For the final one, they can ignore you if they want, that doesn't make you oppressed.

Oppression is being: "subject to harsh and authoritarian treatment."

That generally, in the true sense, means that it's against your will; interacting with women is your own choice, and you don't have to do it (no one can really force you to either, except people applying "peer pressure," which isn't really truly forcing you to). Being rejected is not oppression; and, you even said yourself that sometimes you're simply not interested, so what's the issue?

"In my personal experience. Women find it acceptable to be this way while Men are more and more expected to be expressive, accepting, well off and interesting."

Sure, perhaps, but that's not indicative of "oppression."

A really handsome guy, who's dumb as fuck/dull as can be can still "get laid," I have seen this happen; same generally goes for women. Likewise, what you brought up there is still not really "oppression."

"And I ask, why should I? Why can't I just live my life, and be myself and share that? I feel like this is forcing people to be someone they aren't, and then they'll be upset with them for lying. Lose-lose."

I don't really know if this was your conclusion, but it doesn't follow the initial basis, which is that you feel that you are "oppressed." Most social interaction with other humans, especially the impersonal sort with strangers, involves a lot of generic pleasantries and faking; that isn't just limited to women/men flirting with one another either, it happens all the time.

Have to be polite, have to smile, have to shake hands, have to look people in the eye, have to go out looking certain ways for certain "settings." Have to kiss-ass to your boss, have to do this and that according to social norms and whatnot.

That happens to literally everyone; hell, even the President of the United States has to do shit like that (those generic and "traditionalist" formalities and pleasantries; it's all mostly faking/forced).

I guess, by that standard, we're all oppressed.

Title	Just talkin...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	March 3, 2014 7:36 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/1zf2cn/just-talkin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/just-talkin.1615078 https://theredarchive.com/post/1615078

Comments