Hello friends of reddit. I think I was raped by my girlfriend in high school. Please clarify for me if I was or was not. I have told some trusted friends about this, but I want to make sure I am right. First allow me to mention several things, I have Aspergers Syndrome (albiet very high functioning) and I get blackouts, convulsions, and other physical problems. So, to get to my point, I was home alone with her, and I remember doing chores and things like that, then nothing, just a typical blackout, then the next thing I know I am on my bed, we are both naked and I am inside her. I dont recall consenting and I didnt ask her for sex or anything like that. I dont think I consented or could have. After that, she had me agian the same day, and for long periods of time after that thrwating to tell others that I was having sex with her. I had/have a very good reputation at school, church, hone, etc, of being honest and straightforward. That would ruin me, so I went with it. I really hate myself for that, and I wish I had never met her to begin with. She also bragged quite a bit about taking my virginity. What should I do? I am now a college student in engineering, and she still bothers me to this day, but I dont jnow how to get out of my situation. Also I hate myself for this, and allowing this to happen. How do I escape other than suicide?