All the arguments about pedophilia, ephebophilia, hebephilia on Reddit are a huge waste of time, because everyone has their own definitions for these terms.

I find it really frustrating, that I can be labeled an ephebophile by Reddits great category of things, just because I might have a fleeting attraction towards a late-teenager. Looking at primarily female characteristics doesn't make me a phile of any kind. I'm not attracted by the age or underageness of people and as soon as I learn that the person I might be looking at is 15 or something I become uninterested.

My point is that there's really nothing else to go by (at first) than the looks. I'm not saying it is ok for men to drool at all the women who happen to walk on the street. I at least happen to be very bad at estimating ages these days and I don't have a magic scope which tells me how old a person is.

Why is there pathologizing even beyond legal issues. If someone has sex with a legal-teen, HE might still be defined as ephebophile, where as I've come to understand this term refers to a long term PRIMARY interest. If by wikipedias definiton is true (intrest in ages 15-20), we should just dump the whole term.

As a single man in his early twenties I admit to having sex with women between the ages of 17 and 25 (AoC is 16 in my country) and I doubt that I have traumatized anyone. Having a friend tell me I might be an ephebophile kinda confused me and pissed me off at the same time.