As Salamu Alikum,

I found this sub recently and wanted to share some genuine concerns that I have. I hope that the mods do not remove this as I am not violating any of the rules and am offering this advice with no ill intentions.

I understand that everyone has a right to their own views and a right to express them, however I believe that as a predominantly Muslim sub, a certain level of decorum and respect should be maintained - something that I feel many posts and comments on this sub fail to do. While I do not agree with many of the views in this sub, I would be remiss if, as your brother, I did not try and remind all of us about the consequences of our actions.

First and foremost, I think the most important thing to remember is that every single comment and post you write, is read by REAL people. The wall of anonymity that reddit provides makes people forget two things. The first being that you are interacting with other humans, and the second being that there is no anonymity in front of your Creator. From our Deen we know that there are certain requirements when you talk to and talk about people. Just because you cannot see the person, does not mean those requirements vanish.

One of the biggest issues I have seen in this sub is that of backbiting and slandering others. When genuine posts from other subs are shared on this sub and the members of this sub tear apart the original poster did we all decide to ignore Allah's Command :"O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful" [49:12]. Or do we all think that the punishment on the Day of Judgement for he who slanders a muslim "...will be made by Allah to dwell in the corrupt fluid [pus] flowing from the inhabitants of Hell till he retracts his statement" [Abu Dawud 3597, Grade: Sahih] is something that we want to experience?

Beyond making fun of those specific posts, there is a general sense of assuming sins in others based on their actions. I have read countless posts and comments that claim that our sisters should not attend university because they will not be able to avoid ribaa and that they will fall into other sins prevalent in college campuses. As someone who has gone through the university system in the west, I can assure you that there are many ways to avoid ribaa and that there are sisters on these campuses that are far better muslims than any of us can even dream of being. Not only that, but those same sins that you fear our sisters will fall into, are also available for the brothers to fall into. Making assumptions that someone has fallen into sin simply because they are educated is again slandering our fellow Muslims.

Further, I have seen posts on comments that try to expose the sins, or claim that they would make any potential spouses expose their sins before marriage. For a group of people who are so strict about not sinning, did we all forget when the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said “All my community will be excused except those who commit sins openly. Committing them openly includes a man who does something shameful at night and when morning comes tells someone that they did such-and-such, while Allah had concealed it for them. They slept under the cover of Allah, and they removed Allah's covering from themselves in the morning” [Sahih Muslim 2990]. How can it be reasonable to demand one to expose their sins when doing so is a sin itself if they have overcome the sin, repented, and it does not affect their future?

Are we not afraid of our own sins? Instead of worrying about the sins of others perhaps we should reflect on the hadith "A believer sees his sins as if he were sitting under a mountain which, he is afraid, may fall on him; whereas the wicked person considers his sins as flies passing over his nose and he just drives them away" [Sahih Bukhari 6308]. Sadly half of the profiles on this sub have been marked as NSFW, we should be more concerned with our Haya' (modesty) than the sins of others. Narrated Abu Mas`ud: The Prophet ﷺ said, "...If you don't feel ashamed (pious shyness from committing religious indiscretions) do whatever you like" [Sahih Bukhari 6120]. Instead of discussing inappropriate topics, in this sub and others, we should instead strive to be like the Prophet ﷺ who "was more shy (from Haya': pious shyness from committing religious indiscretions) than a veiled virgin girl" [Sahih Bukhari 6119].

While I respect that everyone has a right to have their own opinion, you have to think, is what you are writing bringing you closer to Allah or to the flames of Jahannam?

When you write your comments tearing apart a sister or "blue-pilled" brother, first think of the prophetic example. Would the Prophet ﷺ, who allowed the Christians of Najran- people of a completely different faith- to pray inside of the Masjid in Madinah, be so opposed to a fellow Muslim's views that he would slander them?

When you write your comments complaining about how you don't understand why sisters won't want to stay home and cook, clean, and raise children because you think the work is easy and effortless, think of how you are supposed to honor your mother so much that the Prophet ﷺ repeated it 3 times. If you can't even appreciate the work she does for you how can you be honoring the person under whose feet lies paradise for you?

When you write your comments criticizing women, think of if you would be able to say those words to your mom or your sister in real life- while you may not be saying it to them, you are saying it to REAL people who are moms and sisters to others.

Instead of looking down upon people who we think are worse Muslims than us, we should instead look at Prophetic example and try to make our character like that of his. Instead of engrossing ourselves in useless discussions where we are only displeasing Allah, we should focus on making ourselves better Muslims. Instead of typing that derogatory comment we should pick up a Mushaf and memorize a verse.

And Allah Knows Best.