A bit of background to give you guys an idea of my journey down the rabbit hole so far.

Throughout high school I was a beta, without question. I was the guy who girls came to with their boyfriend/relationship problems, and I got some kind of validation out of this (fucking stupid). However, towards my senior year I started to develop more and more Alpha qualities. I had been lifting with my dad (incredibly strong dude for his age) 5x/week and wrestling 3x/week at an intense summer wrestling club. By the time senior year hit, I was ready to fuck the world for 72 hours (shoutout Kendrick). Immediately, I started spinning plates without even knowing what that meant as I hadn't discovered TRP up until a few months ago. 3 different bitches from 2 different grade levels, 2 of which had boyfriends. Fucked 2 of them, other one was a bit of a prude and I hadn't properly developed my game.

This is where it all came crashing down and I was reverted back to being a beta bitch.

While spinning my plates, I fell hard for the one who had a boyfriend she was on and off with. We were "dating" for a while, then we made it official about 3 months in after constant "breaks" because "she still had feelings for the other guy" and "she knew what it felt like to have your heart broken and didn't want me to experience that." AKA she was fucking that guy and one other. Of course, the beta in me took her back every time.

After those tough 3 months, shit went really well for about a year, then I caught her sneaking around with one of her other exes through Facebook and text messaging. I even caught her parked at his fucking house. But yet, I still took her back because I had developed one of the most serious cases of oneitis the world has ever witnessed. I was trapped.

Finally, after about 2 years of this, we didn't get back together after I caught her doing the same shit she had been pulling for the past 2 years.

Fast forward another year, and here I am, writing this post. I have realized how shitty my life is because of my own actions and beliefs about women. I destroyed my self-confidence, I turned to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain of losing her, stopped working out, stopped socializing, completely lost my identity as a man by only identifying myself as my relationship with her, basically fucking destroyed my life.

But now, I'm awake. I have seen the toxic lifestyle I've allowed myself to live for the past 3 years. Today marks the day where I officially have killed my old self. I refuse to be a fucking beta bitch and let people walk all over me any longer.

I started lifting again and have been seeing great gains so far. I've got 1 and a half semesters left of uni, one of which being an internship at a law firm.

I've started learning Chinese with a goal of moving to China for 2 years via the Peace Corps to teach English.

I've got a goal to go to law school after my time in the Peace Corps.

TRP talks so much about Game and how to deal with women, but for me it's much bigger than that. This is a lifestyle I truly want to commit to and utilize it to achieve great things. The most valuable thing that TRP has taught me is that no one, not even your own fucking parents want to see you hit the pinnacle of success. Every single day I'm ridiculed for believing that I can make something great out of my life. "Stop being unrealistic" "It'll never happen" "You know how slim the chances are, don't you?" "You're doing WHAT?!" "Good luck with that!"

Fuck. All. That. What's the point in living if you're not going to give it every ounce of strength and willpower that you've got? The answer for me is simple: there is none. I'd rather die a warrior than live as a coward.

I just want to thank TRP community for getting my ass in gear and helping me to realize that everything you do in this life is a result of your own doing, and no one is here to help you fix your fuck-ups. Never, ever again will I let a woman rob me of my precious time in this life because of my ideals about what love is supposed to be. I've swallowed the red pill, and I have no intention of turning back now.